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    Promoted and Overwhelmed

    I got a promotion on Monday. I’ve been overwhelmed since last year. I’m dreading being even more overwhelmed as I continue in this new role.

    Every time that I take on more or earn new roles, I struggle. I talk to myself like I’m worthless. I treat myself badly and slip down this hole. I used to escape with suicide attempts and hospital stays. I don’t want to do that anymore.

    This time, I’m looking to be a better friend to myself. I’m going to be kind and gracious, understanding and patient. All of the things that I aim to be with my staff, I will be with myself.

    I can do this. I will be all of the things I want to be. I will be successful and gracious, kind and patient, understanding of myself and others. I can do it. I can do it! #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Success #promotion #growth #betterment #Selflove #Selfcare #Kindness


    I don't know if I can keep doing this #CheckInWithMe

    I accepted a promotion at work and started in the new role in July. I was apprehensive because it was supposed to be 32 hours/week, up from my current 25 hrs/week. I know that I stop being able to care for myself well once my work hours start pushing 30.

    Well, not only is it 32 hours/week, but I am also constantly staying late and working extra hours because it is literally impossible to even accomplish the minimum at my job within the hours I have been allotted. I'm not getting paid much more than I was in my previous role either - and it's salary so the extra hours just get banked for holiday time that I don't feel like I can take because the work just keeps piling up.

    I tried talking with my boss about it, but her perspective is that once I have more experience I will be able to do my tasks faster, so it's fine and nothing needs to change. So now she has started taking on some of my workload which is stressing her out more too.

    I know that I can do this job, but the constraints of my particular contract make it feel impossible and super stressful. I don't want to give up, but I don't know if I can keep doing this for much longer without crashing.

    #CheckInWithMe #Work #promotion #overwhelmed mentalhealth depression anxiety ptsd seasonalaffectivedisorder imstilltrying

    1 comment

    Disclosing depression/anxiety at work

    I've decided that I will probably accept the promotion at work tomorrow, but I feel like I need to tell my boss that I have some limitations. In my current position, I am able to manage because it is very structured, contained, and sometimes repetitive. The new position will be less so, and I am concerned about anxiety flare ups and depressive apathy and overwhelm. I'm particularly concerned about writing reports on the computer (which will be a daily task) since one of the reasons I had to stop working on my masters was panic related to writing on the computer.

    This is what I'm thinking of saying, but I would really appreciate some feedback.

    I need you to know that I am not functioning at the top of my game right now. My mental health hasn't been great. I've had some difficulty accessing supports over the past year, partly due to covid, but I am actively working on it. I need you to know this because it means that sometimes tasks may take longer than usual to complete or I may need to structure my day differently sometimes.

    What do you think? Should I add or remove anything?

    #Work #disclosure #promotion #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #Trauma


    Possible Promotion

    My boss called me into her office at the end of my shift today and broached the possibility of taking on a managerial position. I need to let her know within two weeks, training would start in May or June, and the job would transition to full time by mid-August.

    It would be nice to have better pay and more stability. It's also nice to be recognized by my boss as being qualified for the role.


    I don't know if I can handle it. I would have to write reports, regularly call clients, reach sales targets, and make complex decisions. It would also be nearly a 100% increase in hours since I'm currently working part time.

    Besides that, it's not really a job I want longer term and this isn't a city that I want to stay in.

    I start to feel panicky just thinking about sitting in front of a computer to type up a report or sitting across from a client to explain their account, etc.

    I chose my current job BECAUSE it is part time and extremely structured so I can work almost on auto-pilot if I need to some days.

    I have been trying to access mental health services over the past year so that I wouldn't end up in this position, but here I am. I don't have a therapist right now and I don't know what to do.

    #Work #promotion #Anxiety #Depression #CPTSD


    My new role #promotion #ImposterSyndrome

    I've recently been promoted to a role of duty manager. I didn't apply for it and during a group interview day I was selected from almost 2 dozen potential crew members and invited back for a different one.

    I was ecstatic!

    It's now been 3 weeks and although I am so happy to be in this role I'm struggling with my anxiety and BPD. I really don't feel like I'm as qualified as most of the other employees with literally no experience in the activities we offer. There is a vast amount of product knowledge and branding I need to learn. And I've never been in a managerial position before.

    This entire thing is so so new, from the industry to my position within a company and for someone with BPD it's overwhelming. I'm paranoid they don't think I deserve it anymore, that my crew members won't respect my position or think I didn't earn it or that I'm going to spiral and mess it up somehow with an epic mistake.
    I am so socially awkward I overshare or say completely weird and irrelevant things that people don't know how to respond or I'm left questioning and kicking myself wishing I had kept my mouth shut!
    I'm overthinking about so much I'm forgetting which liquid was the sanitiser and which is the degreaser or where I put my manager pack.

    I want to be successful more than anything and I'm so excited to be where I am in this company and my life. This is when things usually start to go wrong every time.

    How do I keep my shiz together? I really don't want to mess this up!

    #MentalHealth #ImposterSyndrome #Adviceplease #BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Anxiety #Paranoid #promotion #Newjob