just found out my bio dad's got colon cancer
#Cancer #Depression #Anxiety #Support #Stress #overwhelmed
hey everyone..i just checked my voicemail and one of the messages was my bio dad saying that he was in the hospital,that he just found out he has cancer..so i called the hospital and talked to him bc i haven't talked to him in months due to a previous misunderstanding we had..
he just found out yesterday that he has colon cancer and that they are going to do everything they can to prolong his life.. shots, chemo..i knew something was wrong a few years ago bc of his stomach issues..i told him to go to the doc.. encouraged him to go and that i would go with him but he never would go
i know myself now scary it can be going to the doc when something is wrong and you dont know whats going on..i know when it's his time to go im going to blame myself for not pushing him to go to the doc even though i tried everything i could to get him to go..this is devastating news and i just got to know my bio dad in the past 4 years of my life..
im frozen in fear..i dont know how to take it or what to think..after hearing his message..i froze and it took me 30 min to build up enough courage to call him bc i was in freeze or flight mode..i just lost my step dad few years ago to prostate cancer and i didn't get to say my goodbyes to him due to being homeless and my phone dying..
so i have alot of guilt around death and i love that God gives us life but is it normal to be a little angry at him for taking loved ones away? i don't know if its just me..i don't have any support and haven't in awhile.. God was my only support..i dont like feeling this way and just need some answers or opinions.. thank you