QualityTime

I recently watched a youtube video on childhood emotional neglect and it disturbed me somehow because it just clicks so much. I can't bore everyone with tales of how I managed to grow up self-reliant and all that but what I want to emphasize is self care.

The video simply explains that people who experience emotional neglect in childhood tend to lack proper self care practices because they did not receive proper care as a child. It's very intuitive and yet it hit me right in the face because, i really don't know what I need as a person. I mean, I know the basic things - food, water, sleep, but only because my body asks for it every time.

Speaking of time, I never really understood how to value my own time. I used to think, #QualityTime is my love language. It turns out, i just don't know when to stop being with another person. I'm so used to giving up time for my self that I'm willing to extend my work hours without actual pay, or let others take my turn when they say they need it. I don't know, it's just so weird that I'm not fully aware when my time for other people is over and when my time for myself should begin.

But more on actual self care. There are so many very simple things that count as self care, all of which I am not aware of? I always used to consider myself as a selfless person and even had times in my life when my supposed emotional generosity was abused but I didn't really learn?

So now that I understand, I don't really want to go after the people that caused me #EmotionalNeglect . It's just that right now, I need to start taking charge of taking care of myself, instead of expecting or hopelessly waiting for someone else to do it for me. So I want to learn. What basic #selfcare routines do you think I missed out on?

Last November my GP and my Diabetic Nurse said that I really needed to start getting some exercise as it would really help my HBA1C level go down. Plus, I’m pretty overweight.

I’ve been putting it off for ages because of my pain levels and often feeling like I can barely make it the 10 steps to the bathroom from my bedroom.

BUT. Today, I dragged myself and my mother out for a walk. (She also needs to lose weight and she has “pre-diabetes”). We were out of the house for a good 25 minutes. We walked to the nearby coffee shop (which took about 10mins), had a drink each and sat talking for about 45mins, and then we took a slow walk home that was about 15mins.

I’m pretty proud of myself today. I pushed myself through it and we both had a good time talking about things and it was lovely and sunny, but with a slightly chilled breeze. It stopped us from getting too hot or too cold. We’re planning on doing this every other day, and each week we’ll take different length routes home and such.

So I’m very pleased with myself.

#POTS #EDS #NAFLD #BPD #InterstitialCystitis #Exercise #proud #QualityTime