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I have no fight left

Hi, my name is Khalil. I’m just going through a tremendous amount of stress and depression. I’m currently on dialysis because I’m in ESRD (End Stage Renal Disease). I pretty much lost everything I worked so hard for. My girlfriend broke up with me because she doesn’t want to be with someone who’s dying, the mother of my kids blocked my number on their phone, I haven’t seen them in 2 years, and everything is falling apart. Before all of this I was working two jobs, providing for my two boys and having a healthy relationship. I can’t work because of being on dialysis 3 to 4 times a week. They got me on disability but it’s not enough to take care of my bills but I manage. I’m use to being that person who works hard, being the provider. Now I feel so useless. Like a nobody. Ive come close to committing suicide at one point but all I can think about were my two boys. They are the only reason I’m still here. I have no family no friends, nobody. Can anybody give me some type of advice? Please I need it

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Life is tough

Most of us spend our lives trying to avoid difficult things. We put off exercising because it's uncomfortable. We avoid difficult conversations because they're awkward. We neglect our mental health because sitting with our thoughts can feel overwhelming.

The problem is that avoiding those things doesn't make life easier. It usually replaces one challenge with another, and that challenge is often much harder.

The discomfort of exercise can become poor health. The discomfort of looking after your mental health can become years of unnecessary suffering. The discomfort of one honest conversation can become a relationship that slowly falls apart.

Life isn't about finding the easy path. It's about choosing the difficulties that build a better future instead of the ones that slowly make life harder.

What difficult thing have you been putting off that you know would improve your life if you finally faced it?

Also, if you're going through a tough time right now, I want you to know that I post daily mental health videos about how to deal with painful thoughts. So if you or anyone you know is struggling and wants help, click on one of the links below or write me if you have any questions you want me to answer:

www.instagram.com/thomas_of_copenhage

www.tiktok.com/@thomas_of_copenhagen

~ Thanks to all. Thanks for all. ~

#MentalHealth #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Addiction #dissociativedisorders #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #ADHD #Fibromyalgia #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #PTSD #Cancer #RareDisease #Disability #Autism #Diabetes #EatingDisorders #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #RheumatoidArthritis #Suicide #MightyTogether

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*shrug*

Pauley and I discussed our new friend last night. She didn't know our friend thought it was a date. Pauley isn't interested in her. Neither am I. But we like her as a friend.
But the idea of taking on a third person for a throuple never crossed my mind until now. I'd like to find myself a boyfriend someday. I think if she and I could find a guy we're both interested in we'd be much happier.
We had a really unpleasant argument Friday night. We didn't talk it out, we slept a lot and didn't really do anything. But last night we snuggled together and just enjoyed being close. It's really nice when she puts her arms around me.
Anywho. How's your weekend going? We might go to a flea market.
#relationship

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*shrug*

Pauley and I discussed our new friend last night. She didn't know our friend thought it was a date. Pauley isn't interested in her. Neither am I. But we like her as a friend.
But the idea of taking on a third person for a throuple never crossed my mind until now. I'd like to find myself a boyfriend someday. I think if she and I could find a guy we're both interested in we'd be much happier.
We had a really unpleasant argument Friday night. We didn't talk it out, we slept a lot and didn't really do anything. But last night we snuggled together and just enjoyed being close. It's really nice when she puts her arms around me.
Anywho. How's your weekend going? We might go to a flea market.
#relationship

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Healthy Eating Habits for Kids: An Easy Parent Guide

As parents, we all know this struggle. Developing healthy eating habits in kids can be challenging. Today in this blog the Institute of Nutrition and Fitness Sciences (INFS) is sharing some tips based on evidence-based strategies.

By understanding childhood food preferences, parents can establish sustainable healthy eating for kids. This guide breaks down the science of growth, tips for picky eaters, and daily requirements for children.

The Current Scenario: Modern Challenges to Healthy Eating Habits for Kids

Modern lifestyle has changed and impacted how children interact with food. Fast food accessibility, aggressive marketing, and screen time adversely affected the standard nutrition for children.

Recent data shows that childhood obesity and metabolic complications are rising. Processed food consumption among urban youth is at an all-time high.

The underlying causes are due to several modern environmental factors. Let us try and understand them better:

Easy availability of calorie-dense convenience foods.

Misleading food labels on sugary breakfast cereals.

Decreased physical activity levels, along with increase in screen time.

Busy family schedules that limit meal preparation time.

Reversing this trend requires active education.

What Does a Balanced Diet for Kids Include?

Growing kids have high metabolic demands. They require a steady supply of specific micronutrients and clean energy. It is important that parents understand the best nutrition for growing children.

A nutritionally complete childhood framework includes:

Macronutrient Balance: Clean protein for growth, complex carbs for energy, and healthy fats for the brain.

Micronutrient Density: Sufficient calcium, iron, vitamin D, and zinc for bones and immunity.

Hydration: Water as the primary fluid. Eliminate sugar-sweetened beverages entirely.

Mindful Environment: Distraction-free and screen free meals. This allows kids to listen to internal fullness signals.

How to Build Healthy Eating Habits in Children?

Forcing a child to finish their plate backfires. It teaches them to ignore their stomach’s fullness signals. Instead, focus on creating a positive relationship with food through smart parenting habits.

Stop Using Food-as-a-Reward: Never offer dessert or treats as a prize for good behavior. This teaches kids that healthy food is boring and sugary food is the real reward. Instead, praise good behaviour directly. Instead sometimes offer non-food rewards like extra playtime or a trip to the park.

Keep Junk Food Out of the House : Dont stock packaged chips, cookies, sugary cereals, instant noodles, or aerated drinks in your house. If these foods arent at home, your kids cant reach for them. Simple. Instead, fill your kitchen with roasted chickpeas, dried fruits, nuts, whole grain crackers, and nut butters. When kids get hungry, theyll learn slowly to pick these nutritious options.

Use Calm, Structured Parenting: Research shows that a supportive yet structured approach reduces childhood obesity. Dont force your child to eat. Instead, let them listen to their own hunger and fullness signals. A simple way to do this: before serving more food, ask "Are you still hungry?" and respect their answer. This teaches them to self-regulate food intake naturally. This skill will last their whole life.

Children mimic the eating habits of the adults: Kids copy what their parents do. If you eat whole foods, your kids will too. Make it simple: you decide what food to serve and when meals happen. Let your child decide how much they want to eat. This gives them control and responsibility.

The Practical Kids Nutrition Guide for Parents

Nutrition needs change as kids grow. A toddler needs different foods than an adolescent does. Toddlers need softer, smaller portions and more frequent meals. Adolescents need more calories and protein for growth spurts

What Should Kids Eat Daily?

For Toddlers (1-3 years):

Serve three small meals and two snacks daily. Focus on soft foods they can chew easily. Include mashed dal with rice, scrambled eggs, soft chapati with ghee, mild curries with vegetables, yogurt, and fruit purees.

For Older Kids (4-12 years):

Serve three structured meals and two snacks. Include lean proteins like eggs, paneer, moong dal, chicken, or fish. Mix in complex carbs like brown rice, oats, whole wheat bread, or ragi. Add colorful vegetables : spinach, carrots, broccoli, tomatoes, and bell peppers.

For deeper insights into managing nutrition at different ages, explore the structured modules in the INFS Kids and Adolescent Nutrition Course.

How to Get Kids to Eat Vegetables?

Getting kids to eat vegetables takes time and patience. Its normal for kids to reject new foods: this is called food neophobia. Research shows kids may need 5 to 20 tries before accepting a new food, depending on their age. Dont pressure them.

Here are easy ways to help:

Try roasting vegetables to make them sweeter. Roasted carrots, beetroot, or broccoli taste better than boiled.

Let your child help wash and chop vegetables. Kids are more willing to eat what they helped prepare.

Mix vegetables into familiar foods. Add grated carrots or spinach to dals, rice, or flatbreads.

Serve vegetables with a homemade dip they like : yogurt with herbs or a simple peanut butter dip.

What Are Some Healthy Snacks for Kids?

Snack time is a chance to give kids good nutrition. Replace packaged chips and cookies with real food options.

Instead of chips: Try roasted chickpeas, roasted makhana (fox nuts), or home-fried potato and sweet potato cubes.

Instead of sweets: Offer sliced apples with peanut butter, a banana with almond butter, or seasonal fruit like mangoes and papayas.

Other great snacks: Whole milk yogurt with fresh berries, homemade oat muffins, boiled eggs, cheese cubes, or a handful of mixed nuts (for kids over 4 years).

Key Takeaways

Model the behavior you want to see. Eat whole foods alongside your children.

Avoid using food as a reward, punishment, or emotional coping mechanism.

Practice covert control by keeping low-nutrient, high-calorie foods out of the house.

Adopt an authoritative style. Respect your childs natural internal fullness signals.

Frequently Asked Questions

How to Stop Kids from Being Picky Eaters?

Picky eating is normal and usually temporary. The key is not to force it. Keep offering new foods without pressure. Ask your child to help cook or garden. Let them see, touch, and explore food without eating. Kids often accept new foods after multiple exposures. Stay patient and keep mealtimes calm and positive.

How to Deal with Kids Who Are Picky Eaters?

Dont cook separate meals for picky eaters : this reinforces selective eating. Instead, always serve one familiar food alongside new items at the meal. Let your child eat what they want from whats on the table. Avoid comments like "you never eat vegetables." Over time, theyll naturally try new foods when theyre ready.

How can I improve my kids nutrition habits?

Establish fixed meal and snack times. Structural routine prevents continuous grazing. This ensures children are genuinely hungry during balanced meals.

What constitutes proper nutrition for children on a vegetarian diet?

For a vegetarian diet, ensure adequate protein and iron intake. Include a variety of legumes, dairy products, nuts, seeds, and green leafy vegetables daily.

How to make kids eat healthy foods without arguments?

Give children structured choices, let them choose between two types of vegetables for dinner. This gives them a sense of autonomy. And since they get the satisfaction of choosing it, they are more likely to eat it without arguments.

What are the daily recommended sugar limits for kids?

Children over two should consume less than twenty-five grams of added sugar per day. This equals roughly six teaspoons.

What

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I'm really excited!!!!

Pauley and I are going to the Edgar Allen poe speakeasy event in Detroit one week from today. It's just over an hour. They're performing 4 of his poems and pairing it with fancy mixed drinks. The reviews are stellar. This was the only day that wasn't sold out. We got super lucky. I can't wait!!!
#Relationships

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Trauma-Informed Care: Seeing the Person, Not Just the Behaviour

By Rise Above Your Norm

“Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.” While this saying has become common, it carries a truth we often forget. Every behaviour has a story. Every reaction has a reason. Every person deserves to be treated with dignity.

As a social worker, I have witnessed firsthand how trauma shapes lives. I have worked with children, youth, adults, and families who were often labelled as “difficult,” “manipulative,” “non-compliant,” or “attention-seeking.” Yet, when you take the time to listen, you begin to understand that these behaviours are often survival strategies developed in response to overwhelming experiences.

Trauma-informed care is not about excusing behaviour. It is about understanding behaviour.

What Is Trauma?

Trauma is an emotional, psychological, or physical response to an event—or repeated events—that overwhelms a person’s ability to cope. Trauma can result from:

– Physical abuse
– Sexual abuse
– Emotional abuse
– Domestic violence
Neglect
– Human trafficking
– Racism and discrimination
– Community violence
– Substance use within the family
– Childhood loss
– Poverty
– System involvement, including child welfare or justice systems

Not everyone experiences trauma the same way. Two people may live through the same event but respond differently depending on their age, support systems, previous experiences, and resilience.

According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA, 2023), trauma can have lasting effects on an individual’s mental, physical, emotional, social, and spiritual well-being.

Trauma Changes the Brain

Trauma is not simply a memory—it changes the way the brain and body function.

When someone experiences trauma, the brain becomes focused on survival.

The amygdala, responsible for detecting danger, becomes overactive.

The prefrontal cortex, responsible for reasoning, decision-making, and emotional regulation, becomes less effective during stress.

The hippocampus, which helps organize memories, may also be affected, making traumatic memories feel as though they are happening in the present.

This explains why someone may:

– Become angry quickly
– Shut down emotionally
– Dissociate
– Avoid relationships
– Misinterpret safe situations as dangerous
– Have difficulty trusting others

These are not character flaws.

They are survival responses.

What Is Trauma-Informed Care?

Trauma-informed care (TIC) is an approach that recognizes the widespread impact of trauma and responds by creating environments that promote healing rather than causing additional harm.

Instead of asking:

“What’s wrong with you?”

Trauma-informed care asks:

“What happened to you?”

Even better:

“What happened to you—and what do you need now?”

This shift changes everything.

The Six Principles of Trauma-Informed Care

SAMHSA identifies six key principles:

1. Safety

People need to feel physically and emotionally safe before healing can occur.

2. Trustworthiness and Transparency

Building trust requires honesty, consistency, and clear communication.

3. Peer Support

Healing often happens through relationships with people who have lived similar experiences.

4. Collaboration

Professionals work with people rather than making decisions for them whenever possible.

5. Empowerment, Voice, and Choice

People who have experienced trauma often had control taken away. Trauma-informed care restores dignity by giving individuals meaningful choices.

6. Cultural, Historical, and Gender Responsiveness

Trauma does not happen in isolation. Culture, colonization, racism, gender, and historical experiences all influence how trauma is experienced and healed.

Why Trauma-Informed Care Matters

When organizations fail to recognize trauma, they may unintentionally retraumatize the people they are trying to help.

Examples include:

– Using shame to change behaviour
– Isolating individuals
– Punishing emotional reactions
– Removing a person’s voice
– Threatening services
– Ignoring triggers
– Focusing only on compliance

These approaches often increase fear, mistrust, and emotional dysregulation instead of promoting healing.

Trauma-informed care asks professionals to slow down, remain curious, and respond with compassion while still maintaining appropriate boundaries and accountability.

Trauma-Informed Care in Child Welfare

Children involved with child welfare have often experienced multiple forms of trauma before entering care. Separation from family, placement changes, and uncertainty can add further stress.

Trauma-informed child welfare practice emphasizes:

– Building trusting relationships
– Maintaining predictable routines
– Supporting family connections when safe
– Listening to children’s voices
– Understanding behaviours as communication
– Collaborating with caregivers and community supports

A child who refuses to engage may not be defiant—they may be frightened.

A youth who lashes out may not be aggressive—they may be protecting themselves in the only way they have learned.

Trauma-Informed Care in Addiction

Trauma and addiction are closely connected. Many people use substances to numb emotional pain, reduce anxiety, or escape traumatic memories.

Recovery is often more successful when treatment addresses both trauma and substance use rather than focusing only on stopping the addiction.

Healing requires safety—not shame.

Healing Is Possible

Trauma changes the brain, but healing changes it too.

Research shows that supportive relationships, therapy, safe environments, emotional regulation skills, cultural connection, and hope can help rebuild neural pathways and improve well-being.

Healing is rarely linear.

Some days feel like progress.

Others feel like starting over.

But every step toward safety, connection, and self-compassion matters.

Final Thoughts

Trauma-informed care is not just a professional framework—it is a way of seeing people with humanity.

Imagine if schools, hospitals, shelters, child welfare agencies, workplaces, and justice systems all asked one simple question:

“What happened to you?”

Imagine the lives that could change.

Because behind every behaviour is a story.

Behind every story is a person.

And every person deserves the opportunity to heal.

At Rise Above Your Norm, I believe healing begins when we stop judging people’s survival strategies and start understanding the pain that created them. Trauma may shape our lives, but it does not have to define our future. With safety, compassion, connection, and hope, healing is always possible.

BigmommaJ
#traumainformedcare #MentalHealth

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