Relationships

My medical story began after a major misdiagnosis of hypochondria and anxiety. I would be dismissed and redirected. I was a case of compounded symptoms with no diagnosis. I was accused of hard drug use, but would refuse medications for the anxiety and depression, had a fear of addiction with pain pills and have a past eating disorder. Maintaining a healthy diet and high physical activities kept me healthy.When I was healthy. Coping skills and executive functions were on point for years. Judgement and my choices were mediocre but sound.I paid bills, kept appointment and cared for my family. I have cared for others my whole career. Advocated for years for children and started a DPS with a local nonprofit.

Six years ago, during a shift, something went wrong and I needed to leave. I panicked and had a medical event, at the same time. This was during Covid. The initial assumption made by medical staff and my employer, that it was stress induced. My Dr.s and employers backtracked and juggled diagnosis and annoyances, telling me "it was ALL in my head".Six month later, I am told I have a lime size tangle knot of blood vessels cutting off oxygen to my brain. And now my heart hurts all the time. Meanwhile I'm told it's nothing and Im exaggerating the symptoms. I was put through endless assessments and winding road appointments to justify a diagnosis. to catchh up.Then I'm given the PTSD diagnosis, assuming its domestic, ignoring my pleads again. Then my family intervenes and builds a case against me for entrapment, after my other family had already abandoned me, because I just wanted attention, hypochondriac and a liar. My truths, reveal their truths. And the entire time, I was logging in a diary, so I wont forget again.

All information, my contacts and my relationships are gone. I have been ignored, dismissed and avoided, due to betrayal involvement and accusations. I was isolated and vilified for a chain of events and my lack of coping skills. People have purposefully withheld information from me, leaving me in a confused state for three years now. It is systematic and wrong to do to vulnerable people. Disabilities, should not be compared. An individual with multiple medical and chronic issues and still can have a successful life, while on Social Security. Your life does not end. You are not an assessment.You are not a label and you are not a burden.

Putting individuals into boxes, is a failure from the start. Alternative practices and care must be out of the box, for change. Art heals, Writing heals, dancing heals, strengthening heals, play heals, balance heals and sometimes, swearing your head off at the anger heals. Love heals. Isolation does not heal, shame and scrubbing ones soul, does not heal.Expressing it does.

You should not loose all credibility because you are sick and forthcoming with your struggles. Your life and choices are not erased and handed to someone to diminish. Support staff must enhance and provide steps, for the individual stepping stones, stairs, and be the pillars, to hold up the goal posts. Encouragement and rewards. Not manufactured choas to get an outcome.

Giving a misdiagnosis, not trusting the patients recollection or capacity, and list of symptoms, causes damage to all care for future goals, treatment and outcomes. Giving the individual the truth and the choices, creates trust for repair and care to be successful. I no longer trust the systems in place, because of this. And that has completely jeopardized my care and caused distress.I have to restart daily without a support circle. It is a loop of self neglect at this point. But tomorrow, I will have forgotten.When you go backwards to a clean slate, you loose endless amounts of skills and things you have to relearn.Executive functions, a vague assortment of things.

Observation and assessments must be transparent and true, without any speculation or assumption. Any. For a diagnosis to be valid to the care. The individual has to be included. Any compromise in this chain of command, you lost the diagnosis and treatment. Individuals need alternative means to change, to keep fostering growth and to keep building on what they have lost. And to foster what they gained.

Hello. Has anyone made a relationship-ending mistake? (overreacted during a fight and got dumped) I’m a very calm and caring person by nature so not my real self at all that was. How do you deal with the regret? How do you forgive yourself?

Has anyone ever made a relationship-ending mistake? (Not cheating, not on purpose) How did you deal with the regret and the guilt? How did you forgive yourself?

Hi, my name is ReliableLabrador74. I'm here because my husband has suggested I have BPD and I think he is right. I want to heal our relationship and heal myself.

#MightyTogether

I'm currently sitting on the edge of my sofa bed at my parents' house in Cornwall, with tears in my eyes. Just a few days ago, I was in Glasgow, living with my partner of almost five years.

We had been working on my website together. She was kissing me, telling me how proud she was of the progress I'd made. Later that day, we were making love and telling each other we loved each other. We were making plans for Christmas, talking about getting married and looking at houses.

Just two days later, she was looking me in the eye and telling me she didn't love me anymore.

I honestly cannot begin to describe what that did to me. I experienced the biggest autistic meltdown I've ever had. I was screaming, had to be restrained, and much of what happened afterwards is a blur. I still feel as though I'm waiting to wake up and discover it was all a nightmare.

Now I'm back in Cornwall, living in a small annexe at my parents' house. No partner, no home of my own, no friends, no job and no real direction in life.

Perhaps one of the hardest things is that I simply cannot understand how this happened. How can someone be telling you they love you, making love to you and talking about your future together, and then just two days later say they don't love you anymore? I keep going over everything in my head, trying to find an explanation or something I missed. I don't know whether she had been feeling this way for a long time or whether something changed. I just cannot make sense of it.

I've always struggled with relationships, largely because of my autism and the anxiety and overthinking that come with it. From the beginning, I was terrified that the relationship would eventually end because of something I'd said or done.

Looking back, I think that fear may have put a strain on things. For example, when she became upset, she needed space and wanted to be left alone. But I found that incredibly difficult because I would become consumed by thoughts about what she was thinking and whether she was going to leave me. I now torture myself thinking about all the times I should have given her the space she asked for. I feel as though my fear of losing her may have contributed to losing her.

I've also struggled to find work and to make a life for myself. I honestly don't feel as though I understand how to 'do life' in the way other people seem to. I've never had a particularly strong support network, and relationships have been the only times I've really felt that I wasn't alone.

I'm nearly 42, and I cannot bear the thought of spending the rest of my life without someone to share it with. I want the ordinary things that most people probably take for granted: someone to hold hands with, cuddle, talk to, come home to and make plans with. I even feel lonely when I'm with my own family.

I'm struggling with this so badly that I've been having thoughts about not wanting to be alive. I've seen my doctor and he’s already put me on diazepam, but I honestly don't know where to go from here.

I don't know what I'm going to do now.