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BPD a few years later

Im probably addicted to weed, and alcoholic, and taking many meds. Most of the time I think everything is fine but most issues are not gone, just pushed back. I am so severely insecure. I feel like i will ruin any relationship i walk into i destroy. Nothing has gotten easier but only with the help of drugs, i wish i was a baby duck with no thought. at this point there is no asking for help, there is just crying into the open hoping someone understahds. if I die, may we die together

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Understanding Mental Health and Addiction: A Comprehensive Approach By BigmommaJ

Understanding Mental Health and Addiction: Rising Above the Cycle

Mental health and addiction don’t exist in separate worlds—they are deeply intertwined, often feeding off one another in ways that are misunderstood, stigmatized, and oversimplified. Research shows that individuals living with mental health challenges are significantly more likely to experience substance use disorders, and the reverse is equally true (SAMHSA, 2023; NIDA, 2024).

But behind the research are real people—people trying to survive pain, trauma, loss, and untreated wounds.

Understanding this connection is not about blame. It’s about compassion, awareness, and creating pathways to healing.

When Mental Health and Addiction Collide

Many individuals live with both a mental health disorder and a substance use disorder at the same time—a reality known as dual diagnosis.

Conditions such as depression, anxiety, PTSD, and bipolar disorder frequently coexist with addiction, making recovery more complex but not impossible (NIDA, 2024; SAMHSA, 2023).

Treating one without the other often leaves people stuck in a cycle of relapse and shame.This phenomenon, complicates treatment and requires an integrated approach that addresses both conditions simultaneously.

Self-Medication Isn’t Weakness—It’s Survival

For many, substances become a way to numb overwhelming emotions, silence intrusive thoughts, or escape unresolved trauma. This pattern, described by the self-medication hypothesis, explains how substance use often begins as an attempt to cope rather than a desire to self-destruct (Khantzian, 1997). Over time, however, the very thing used to survive becomes another source of suffering (CCSA, 2022) and worsens underlying mental health issues.

Trauma Changes Everything

Trauma—especially when experienced early in life—significantly increases the risk of both mental illness and addiction. Adverse childhood experiences, chronic stress, and unsafe environments shape how the brain copes with pain and regulation (PHAC, 2023; WHO, 18 2023). Healing requires acknowledging these roots, not ignoring them.

Factors such as trauma, genetic predisposition, and environmental influences can contribute to the development of both mental health disorders and addiction. Understanding these risk factors can help in designing prevention strategies and early interventions.

Creating Spaces Where Healing Is Possible

Awareness Breaks the Silence.
Education and open conversations reduce stigma and invite people out of isolation. When mental health and addiction are spoken about honestly, people are more likely to seek help and less likely to suffer in silence (WHO, 2023; MHCC, 2022).

Creating a supportive environment

1. Awareness and Education: Promoting mental health awareness can reduce stigma and encourage individuals to seek help. Education for friends, family, and the broader community can create a supportive network for those in need.

2. Access to Resources: Ensuring access to mental health services and addiction treatment is crucial. This includes therapy, support groups, and rehabilitation programs tailored to the needs of individuals with dual diagnoses.

3. Holistic Approaches: Recovery from mental health and addiction often involves a combination of therapies, including cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), medication, mindfulness practices, and lifestyle changes. Encouraging holistic approaches can lead to more sustainable outcomes.

Access to Care Saves Lives

Integrated, trauma-informed treatment—care that addresses both mental health and substance use together—leads to better outcomes and long-term recovery (SAMHSA, 2023; NICE, 2016). Healing should not depend on privilege or luck; it should be accessible, compassionate, and continuous.

Healing Is Holistic

Recovery is not just about stopping a behavior—it’s about rebuilding a life. Evidence supports combining therapy (such as CBT), medication when appropriate, mindfulness, peer support, and lifestyle changes to create sustainable recovery (Miller & Rollnick, 2013; NICE, 2016).

Empathy Is Not Optional

For Those Walking Beside Others

Integrated Care Matters.
Professionals who collaborate across disciplines—mental health, addiction, medical, and social supports—help reduce relapse and foster stability (NIDA, 2024).

At Rise Above Your Norm, we believe recovery isn’t about becoming someone else—it’s about reclaiming who you were always meant to be, beyond survival.

Mental health and addiction are interconnected issues that affect millions of people worldwide. The complex relationship between the two can significantly impact individuals and their families. By fostering awareness and understanding, we can create better outcomes for those experiencing these challenges.

Strategies for Professionals in the Field

1. Integrated Treatment Plans: Healthcare providers should develop integrated treatment plans that address both mental health and substance use issues. This includes collaboration among psychiatrists, addiction specialists, therapists, and healthcare providers.

2. Empathy and Communication: Building a trusting relationship with clients is essential. Practitioners should practice empathy, active listening, and open communication to create a safe space for individuals to share their experiences.

3. Ongoing Support: Recovery is a lifelong journey. Providing ongoing support through follow-up care, community resources, and continued therapy can help prevent relapse and promote long-term stability.

Healing happens in safe relationships. Trauma-informed, empathetic care builds trust and allows individuals to feel seen rather than judged (MHCC, 2022).

Recovery Is a Journey, Not a Finish Line

Recovery is ongoing, non-linear, and deeply personal. Continued support and community connection are essential to long-term wellbeing (Anthony, 1993).

Recovery is possible—not because the journey is easy, but because people are resilient when given the right support. When we move away from shame and toward understanding, when we treat mental health and addiction as interconnected rather than separate failures, we create space for real healing.

Conclusion

Working with mental health and addiction requires a compassionate, integrated approach that recognizes the complexity of these issues. By fostering awareness, providing access to resources, and creating supportive environments, we can help individuals navigate their paths to recovery. It is vital to remember that recovery is possible, and with the right support, individuals can lead fulfilling lives.

BigmommaJ
#MentalHealth #Addiction

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Picking up the brushes again #Depression #Anxiety #Relationships #PTSD #MentalHealth

I got a phone call from a guy who I have known for 25 years. He came to my church as a baby and been with us ever since.

He said, “How about I come over and we do some painting together. Without thinking too much I said yes. Then fear set in. I haven’t picked up a brush in over 6 months. Simply because of a crisis of confidence.

He came today. It is 42 degrees C outside and my office a/c was struggling but we listened to lots of music including 8 different renditions of Nessum Dorma. We are both fans.

I finished a painting that has been sitting on the easel for a very long time. Getting out of my comfort zone turned out ok.

(edited)
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Relationship with a person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (raising awareness)

Everything started when I was 12. I was very young, but I had already been through a lot in my life. I had been hospitalized in a psychiatric unit, I got out, I moved, I lost friends, I made new ones. I had lived many things and I had already understood that life unfortunately is not easy. I was going through a very difficult phase at that time because I had just moved to a new place and had to adapt. I struggled to meet new people, but despite that things were going relatively well. I made friends at school and through Instagram I met more people. At that time I had strong suicidal thoughts and I was self harming, turning emotional pain into physical pain because it felt easier to handle at that stage of my life. After some time there I started talking to a boy. We talked every day all day. We had incredible chemistry. I felt good when I talked to him and I had never felt like that before. Soon flirting started and after a while we began seeing each other. My feelings became stronger and stronger. There are no words to describe what I felt for this person. I became his girlfriend. We often sent each other long messages about how amazing we felt in the relationship. He felt like the boy of my dreams and the way I felt was indescribable. Everything was perfect at least in the beginning. Then he started disliking my female friends and I accepted it. He started distancing me from every friend I had because of jealousy and I accepted it. He started controlling everything. I gave him my passwords and he had access to my social media accounts and I accepted it. He started controlling what clothes I wore and I accepted it. He wanted us to go out only together. Going out with friends was a problem. Why with them and not with him. I accepted it. He isolated me from everyone and I accepted it. I accepted everything because I truly loved him. I was terrified of losing him and I did everything I could to keep him. But whenever I expressed something he did that hurt me he always ended up being the victim. I always ended up being the one at fault. I was blamed for having emotions. I was never right. My feelings did not matter anymore. My opinion did not matter. My needs did not matter. But I loved him so much that I wanted to satisfy him in every possible way even if it meant having sex when I did not really want to. The truth is I never felt what people describe as love. I felt like a piece of flesh. It was a moment of satisfaction not love. When I said I was not in the mood his answer was I will make you want it. No was never an answer. If we did not have sex one day he would get distant and leave as if we had argued. I felt that I was not enough if I did not provide sex and pleasure. This taught me that in order to be loved I had to do it. My self harming continued and he did not support me. I remember one day he saw fresh scars on my arms and instead of comforting me he got angry blamed me and left me behind. I needed a hug and understanding but I had no way to express what I was feeling. He did not make me regret my scars. He made me feel weak broken and sick. Still none of that mattered compared to the love I had for him. It was enough for me that he stayed. His manipulative behavior made me believe he was just overprotective and that he cared deeply. But if that were true I would not have lost all my friends my freedom to wear what I want and my freedom to speak freely without being monitored. If that were true intimacy would feel like love not like being an object. This relationship was a nightmare. I constantly felt crazy because of the gaslighting every time I expressed that his behavior hurt me. It was a very sensitive period of my life. I needed his love to feel that I had value as a person after years of bullying. This person drained me. I emptied myself to fill him. I remember another day I will never forget. We had a small disagreement and he tried to take my phone. I resisted. He did not respect my boundaries and he hit me in the face. When my lip started bleeding and he saw the blood he immediately apologized and said he did not mean to do it. But he could have respected me from the start. Every time I tried to talk about his behavior the conversation turned into mine. Arguments became daily. When you love someone that much it becomes incredibly hard to leave. He also had a tendency to enjoy causing me pain. He would bite me extremely hard leaving bruises on my body even though he knew I hated it. Despite the marks and pain he did not stop. One day he humiliated me so badly that he made me feel ashamed of existing. During intimacy he sent an explicit photo to my mother as a joke. Once again he was the victim and I comforted him saying it was okay even though it affected my relationship with my mother. I shared everything I was going through with my father’s partner at the time. One day he came to our house and she saw him. Wanting to protect me she yelled at him and confronted him for how he treated me. When it ended he ran away and I immediately went after him to comfort him and tell him everything was okay even though he was not the real victim. The worst part is that he was never afraid of destroying my life. He wanted to own me so much that I could have gotten pregnant many times but I was lucky. He would finish inside me without my consent and tell me afterward. This could have ended far worse but thankfully it did not. I stayed for a year because I hoped he would change. I hoped things would go back to how they were in the beginning. I missed the person I met not the one he became. Hope kept me there until everyone around me and my family realized this relationship was destroying me. It drained every drop of life inside me and I understood that I would either lose him or lose myself. I felt so small next to him so stupid so crazy. I always felt he was superior and that he knew better. All I ever wanted was to love and be loved without limits. He made me feel such safety and trust at first that I was not afraid to give everything. I gave one hundred percent of myself without knowing I would lose everything later. Jealousy disguised as interest control disguised as care isolation disguised as love devaluation disguised as honesty gaslighting disguised as logic anger disguised as passion sexual assault disguised as desire victimization disguised as sensitivity. These are the first signs you must recognize in a relationship and walk away before someone isolates you from everything you love including yourself. #NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder

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When Panic Attacks Are Running Your Life — There Is a Way Out

If you live with panic attacks or panic disorder (with or without agoraphobia), you already know how consuming they can be. The racing heart. The fear of losing control. The constant scanning of your body. Over time, life can quietly shrink—avoided places, canceled plans, and staying home because it feels safer. Your family and loved ones just don't understand that you are trying your best, but anxiety often wins.

Many people come to therapy having talked extensively about their panic. While that can bring temporary relief, it often doesn’t lead to lasting change. Venting helps you feel better in the moment, but it rarely teaches your nervous system that panic itself is not dangerous.

I understand this deeply—because I was once skeptical myself about Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP).

When I first learned ERP for panic attacks and panic disorder, I remember thinking: This feels too structured. I don't think my clients will like it. It is too methodical. Where is the space to vent? To connect? How can healing happen without open-ended talk therapy?

What I learned—through training, experience, and watching clients reclaim their lives—is this:

The process is what heals.

My hunch was right. Many of my clients did not like the process, but they disliked -- or hated -- panic attacks even more. They chose to be uncomfortable in therapy for the short term in order to no longer have panic attacks ruining their life for the long term.

ERP doesn’t just reduce stress; it retrains the brain and body. Instead of avoiding panic symptoms or organizing life around preventing them, clients learn—step by step—how to face panic safely, until the fear loses its grip. In many cases, panic attacks are extinguished altogether. In others, they become truly manageable, no longer dictating choices or limiting relationships. For many people, staying home once felt like the solution. Over time, it became the problem.

If you’re done talking about panic—and ready to do something about it—ERP may be the next step. Here are the Core Principles of ERP treatment for Panic Attacks or Panic Disorder:

​Intentional exposure to feared bodily sensations (not avoidance)

Response prevention—reducing safety behaviors and coping rituals

Learning through experience that panic is uncomfortable, not dangerous

Habituation and inhibitory learning over time

Between-session practice and healing assignments to reinforce real-world change

Therapist guidance and collaboration throughout the process

Ready for a Different Outcome?

If panic attacks are controlling your life—and you’re ready to move beyond temporary relief toward real change—I invite you to take the next step, find a provider that offers ERP, a robust, evidence-based treatment therapy that goes beyond talk therapy to provide life-changing results.#stoptalkingaboutpanic #erp2treatpanic

You don’t have to live smaller to feel safe.

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TRUE or FALSE: I consider myself a responsible person.

Nothing says "welcome to being an adult" more than the stockpile of ✨responsibilities✨ that come with it.

These responsibilities can look like managing your health and household, taking care of family and pets, or even maintaining different relationships or roles in your life. Depending on your personal circumstances, maintaining and keep up with those responsibilities may look different for each of us.

In general, would you consider yourself a responsible person? Or is it something you’re actively working toward? (No judgment if there’s room for growth!)

#52SmallThings #CheckInWithMe #Selfcare #MentalHealth #Disability #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #RareDisease #Anxiety #Depression
#Autism #Parenting #PTSD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BipolarDisorder #Fibromyalgia #Lupus #MultipleSclerosis #Migraine #Spoonie

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Why is it so hard to cry? #Depression #Anxiety #Hope #tears #Relationships #MentalHealth

I wonder why it is so hard for some people to cry? I don’t struggle to cry, if, I am watching an emotive movie, and I am 100% all alone, or I am at the very edge of my pain tolerance, but again, I must be all alone.

Perhaps it is our upbringing. Crying when I was growing up was forbidden and would normally invoke a warning of physical punishment if we didn’t stop crying, on demand.

Last night I realised I had forgotten to get my Wife to get a prescription filled for the nerve pain medication I am currently taking. The other pain meds I am don’t bring any relief when it is specifically nerve pain. As I tried to drift off to sleep last night everything within me was crying out, but no tears were forthcoming.

In examining myself last night I realised that the physical pain was seriously uncomfortable but that the emotional pain was compounding that physical pain too.

I was feeling lonely, frustrated that there are still so many things I can’t physically do.
I am tired of being so dependent on others for the majority of things I used to take for granted.

Tears would have been very welcome.

Do you struggle to cry?
Have you overcome your reticence to cry? If so how?

I believe that “real” men do cry. I don’t believe there is anything masculine about holding back tears at cost.

I just wish that truth would go from my head to my heart.

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