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Endless nightmare. #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BipolarDisorder #CPTSD #schitzoaffective #ComplexRegionalPainSyndrome #VoicesInMyHead

I am struggling. And then some. I journal entry for this week has been I couldn’t tell whether I was going on a full schizo break mentally or if it was doctors stupid fault for allowing me to just abruptly stop a medication let alone a benzo that I’ve been on for quite a while. They should not be allowed to do this to mentally ill people. And Us be the ones to suffer That’s truly is not fair! He would think that there should be a rally or something. Hell people have parades for everything else signs for everything else everywhere!! I couldn’t even play with my granddaughter like I would have loved to do because the stupid TV would not stop talking to me around the air fans maybe it’s white noise kind of like those paranormal TV shows. Maybe I’m just the one that can hear them happy the rest of the world is crazy and I am not. I wonder if the rest of the crazy people ever think this as well. No seriously!? Surely, I cannot be the only one. Maybe it was stress that tired at all if other people were only in my shoes they would understand. And I’m so intensely stressed out that I can’t even write in journal about how stressed out I truly am and what is going on now because it is past that line that’s damn line do you know the one? Does anyone know what to call it? The endless nightmare that is what I’m going through that is how I feel this week. Sorry for the stupid rambling that I so distraught that I cannot even get it out


Does Anyone Else Have Anxiety And Depression At Same Time??

Today I'm having a double dose of mainline mental disorders: Generalized Anxiety And Depression!! I STILL haven't figured out how these two seemingly Opposites in the Mental Health division ( mine!),can be present Together!? But they Are "in" me! Too many times to ignore completely,but my med appt is Next Monday,the 19th,so I'll get to bring it up-again!! If an increase of Seroquel pops up-again!- I just may throw a hissy fit! IF it Won't hurry me to Psych. Hospital!!, It's just plain weird to feel all the Anxiety AND Depression feelings at the Same Time! What and How will I? treat the One That's Uppermost in my mind? What if they're BOTH high?!?!What if I'm just Imagining it?! What If???!!
#MentalHealth ,#Bipolar 2,#Anxiety ,#PTSD ,#major Depression,#schitzoaffective disorder,#OCD ,#past Paranoid Schitzophrenia,#suicidal Thoughts,almost carried out,#Fear of most Anything,Esp.Abandonment,& going So deep in the Black Hole I 've made that I won't be able to get out of it;#FibromyalgiaDiagnosis ,#RA & Osteoarthritis,#restless Legs Syndrome,#sad -Seasonal Affective Disorder-me in both Summer and Winter,#Senior Moments(too many!),#Hissy Fits,#Inability To Know When To SHUT UP!!.

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this paragraph is kinda funny to me. mostly it reminds me of the years and years of therapy I had to do in order to be free. #mental health #Bipolar disorder #schitzoaffective disorder