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    creeps

    Things could have turned out completely differently and this makes me so dizzy.

    So many stuff my mind's showing me at the moment.

    I am here by chance.

    I did nothing to come here; just went with the flow; I built nothing to come where I am now.

    If it wasn't for all the people I would have been still eleven.

    I feel like my youth years just went without me really living them. Now I should be an adult, but I haven't lived what was supposed to come before (or - I lived it while being tossed around).

    There's so many stuff I can't do now.

    I just wish I had more friends and more stability.

    I really wish I had the time between one people and the other to take a break and find my balance and myself within all the confusion.

    I am consistenceless; I'm based on void.

    [makes me a bit scared]

    Wondering what I'm doing next. Let's see.

    🌚

    #Photography #landscape #Autumn #Memories #past #Present #future #Life

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    Inspirational Quote

    Do you find yourself constantly thinking about the past? Or do you stay up at night thinking about the day? Do you spend your days thinking about things that happened days or weeks ago?

    Join my fb community for more daily content, workshops, and live events ---> facebook.com/groups/accordingtodes

    #inspirational #InspirationalQuotes #Quotes #past #thepast

    Post

    Why does my heart keep have bubble pauses?

    When I not under stress, this happens a lot now adays?

    But I did have a weird heart pain in July 2018, where I wasn't able to hear, swallow, eat, drink or move. Than for five days I have zero appetite... A friend who studies medical told me to take a bear aspirin, it helped.
    -
    But my family took me to wait five days to see a doctor? My doctor told me it maybe do to stress, but when they took my xrays I wasn't aloud to see them? But my female doctor shown me on her cellphone photo..? They where concern of my odd looking heart but sujest it fine, but I couldn't inhale well.

    #worries #past #healthconcerns #anexity

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    thinking

    any tips on how to stop thinking of people from the past ?! #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Trauma #Lettinggo #past

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    Past

    My past has help me to be strong and share my story To help other people with theirs
    #PTSD #past #MentalHealth

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    Trying to guess out what's going on

    Hello everyone out there!

    This is my first post on the Mighty ever, I was only a reader. But now I would like to ask for some help with my issues. I am trying to be short and don't bore anyone with my "life-story"...
    So... I am diagnosed with OCD, what is relevant, but now this seems like something else is going on in my head... at least as I guess. About 1.5-2 months ago, at my workplace an old memory come up to my mind. It wasn't that type of thought OCD generates, it was a normal thing to remember something happened in the past, even if it's painful. With my colleauges, we were talking about childhood games because someone found a pack of 'action-cards' maybe, if this is their correct name. Those collectible, small cards with a hero on it, who had strength, life points, and so on... and I told they were great, because my classmates weren't fighting with each other, they 'beated' each other only on cards. Than, I mentioned "well... i wasn't the one who was fighting, but the wan who had been beaten by others..." We laughed at this, I was joking with it, but there is truth behind it. And if I would stop talking, it wouldn't be so awkward, but somehow, as I was wondering, I said it out loud: " Really, idk how that girl could beat me every day without any adults would have noticed it..."
    Than my colleauges asked what happened with me, and I told them my story how i was beaten every day for a year in my second year of school... they seemed understanding, and i tried to myke a joke of myself... that's not the problem...
    Since that, at random moments, more and more memories come to my mind... the sad and painful ones, just from nowhere. I mean I hear a word, a typical, every day used word, for example today I've heard my boss says 'ouch', and bang!, another bad memory... what i haven't thought about for years and doesn't matter anymore, because it's the past and i really didn't care about it, but they just come up... Can anybody relate to this or know what is this? I usually do my own research if I have any issues, but with this I don't even know where to start my research...
    Thank you if you took the time and read my story.
    P.S. Sorry for my English, it's a foreign language for me, but I am trying to improve it. 😏
    #Askingforadvice #anxietydisorders #RandomBadMemories #past #Whatsgoingonwithme #MentalHealth #Undiagnosed new issue?

    Question

    Does Anyone Else Have Anxiety And Depression At Same Time??

    Today I'm having a double dose of mainline mental disorders: Generalized Anxiety And Depression!! I STILL haven't figured out how these two seemingly Opposites in the Mental Health division ( mine!),can be present Together!? But they Are "in" me! Too many times to ignore completely,but my med appt is Next Monday,the 19th,so I'll get to bring it up-again!! If an increase of Seroquel pops up-again!- I just may throw a hissy fit! IF it Won't hurry me to Psych. Hospital!!, It's just plain weird to feel all the Anxiety AND Depression feelings at the Same Time! What and How will I? treat the One That's Uppermost in my mind? What if they're BOTH high?!?!What if I'm just Imagining it?! What If???!!
    #MentalHealth ,#Bipolar 2,#Anxiety ,#PTSD ,#major Depression,#schitzoaffective disorder,#OCD ,#past Paranoid Schitzophrenia,#suicidal Thoughts,almost carried out,#Fear of most Anything,Esp.Abandonment,& going So deep in the Black Hole I 've made that I won't be able to get out of it;#FibromyalgiaDiagnosis ,#RA & Osteoarthritis,#restless Legs Syndrome,#sad -Seasonal Affective Disorder-me in both Summer and Winter,#Senior Moments(too many!),#Hissy Fits,#Inability To Know When To SHUT UP!!.

    Post

    I just spent the past twenty minutes or so stalking old classmates on Facebook. They all seem like they are doing great but I can't help but feel the gap between them and I. Now, don't get me wrong, this is not their fault, it's just frustrating that this society didn't give me the same opportunities as they did. #classmates #past #Opportunity #Disability #Stroke #Anxiety #Depression #MentalHealth #CP

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    #GoodDay #today #teletherapy #happy #grateful #ThankGod #yay

    The #Psychiatric appt. I mentioned earlier was fortunately changed from a ZOOM meeting to taken place over the phone!!! I couldn't get washed & dressed cuz of the extremity of the #Pain all over my body....(#ChronicPain / of / #Fibromyalgia )......#Fate actually worked in my favor today!!!! ~ Although I count myself blessed with a lot.....i I am not a lucky person.......(been thru #hell in my #past & things still don't usually. work out for me).....But it DID turn out to be a #good day today!!! Took extra 🌼#Medicine for my appt., & the pain has lessened a bit. .....ill catch up on my #Sleep & take a nap or else help ensure myself a good night's sleep & #HOPEFULLY #TOMORROW things will still be looking up- regarding the intensity of my body pain & my #Thoughts & #attitude & #mood !!! Am shouting out a big "YAYYYY"inside for today's turn of events!!! #grateful !!!!#thanks for the messages you've sent while I was #FreakingOut before my appt...... I haven't read them yet, (was panicking a but trying to deal with getting ready for the Zoom appt........but I saw notifications pop up on the app & felt the #Love !!! Thank you for your #Support !!!!💗🙋💕💕💕💕(((((BIG-HUGS))))))!!! 💗💕💕💕