VoicesInMyHead

#personalitydisorder #suicide

ive heard voices for as long as I can remember, and they get louder when im depressed or stressed. Im currently writing my dissertation, so stress is at an all time high but I cant think straight when Im hearing constant voices shouting over each other to get my attention. Does anyone know of anything that helps? I've only ever used music to block it as best as I can
#VoicesInMyHead

Today I don’t feel anything I feel worthless to this world my head is talking away of how everyone would be better off without me and I believe it all I am is a depressed headache to people my thoughts in my head won’t go away they’re getting stronger by the hour #VoicesInMyHead

Damien, the voice in my head, is back.

he likes to think he's in control and to try to take it, even though he can't have it, because he's a voice, not an alter.

I know he's just a coping mechanism my brain created, but it's still annoying when he tries to wrestle the controls out my "hands"

So, yeah, fun

#VoicesInMyHead

the cigarette smolders in my left hand

ashes hanging, ready to fall

fall away like the thoughts at the edge of my mind

useless and consumed

consumed by the churning, grinding, never-ending voices in my head

yellings and moanings and whisperings

whisperings to do things, to say things, to feel things

that will hurt

hurt me, hurt others, hurt chances

make them stop. please make them stop

stop the racing, stop the mumbling, stop the madness

#MightyPoets #Bipolar1 #RacingThoughts #VoicesInMyHead

So, i have a Fitbit Watch and you can get messaged and things through on it if the Bluetooth is on, but I don’t turn it on during the day because the Bluetooth wastes my battery on my phone so I don’t get any phone notifications through during the day. Last weekend at work, I felt really unwell and had a tight chest and was struggling to breathe, so I kept checking my heart rate to make sure there wasn’t anything abnormal since I was already struggling to breathe. To do this, I have to scroll on my watch so it could potentially look like I’m checking messages. My manager sent a message today to our group chat for work saying that there has been a customer complaint and we all have to stop wearing watches on the shop floor that can connect to our phones. I’m not the only one to have a smart watch, and I very rarely check anything on it other than the time but this weekend just gone, I checked it a lot for my heart rate, and even though there are other people who use theirs regularly and do reply to and check messages so it might not be my fault. I just can’t help thinking that it was me checking my heart rate that made someone complain and I’m the reason nobody can wear their watch on the shop floor.

I love my job so much, it’s only part time but it’s an absolute dream come true to work there and all of the people are so lovely and they cheer me up when I’m feeling down and I can’t help but think I’ve let them all down and they’re all going to hate me now. I just feel so guilty and chances are it might not have been me, but because it’s happened today after my tight chest and checking my heart rate, I feel like it’s my fault. I just needed to rant. I spoke to my best friend about it and she was reassuring and then spoke to my mum but she said that it probably was me because it looked like I was checking my messages, rather than heart rate.

Part of me wants to ask my manager on Saturday if they named anyone so I could explain but I don’t want her to think I’m trying to find out who’s fault it was if it wasn’t me or if they weren’t named or anything. I’m so torn on what to do but whatever I do, I wish the voice in my head would leave me alone. #Paranoid #Anxiety #Depression #VoicesInMyHead