shouldigo

I have been given the #Opportunity to go live in Qatar (when I turn  #18 )for a couple years. I would be flown there for free and would be living their rent free. I would be living with my #Boyfriend in our own little apartment, his family would also be living in Qatar.

Does anyone have any information about what it is like for an American young adult woman to live there?

I know there are a lot of #steriotype things that I have imagined just because of things I have heard of the middle east. But I have also heard that #qatar   is different.

If anyone has any #Information   I would appreciate it. :)

I finally told someone close to me what ive been going through. I told my mom...... I told her about my first relationship when i was underage and how he was grooming me to be his bondage pet. I told her how my second relationship stole my virginity from me. And contunued to rape me for he next year we were together. How hed take me to busy places (like disney) and abandon me to punish me for being so dumb. I have severe anxiety before this so it was traumatic. I told her about the guy i worked at a haunted house with and how he made me think wed work on a zombie movie but then he ended up being 20 years older than he said and tried to rape me. Thank god someone called me for an emergency. Hed already done it to 3 other girls i knew i found out. We were all under 16 and he was in his 40s. And i told her how my most recent relationship has evolved from one of sexual and physical abuse to one of emotional and mental abuse. Because we all live together (me him and my whole family) he has to be more discreet. I want to say hes kinder and not as bad as he used to be but i think im realizing that thats just me saying that the emotional abuse is ol because at least hes not touching me anymore..... And its not ok. And i wish more than anything he could just be the good side of him and never treat me that way again but i know that to him im like an accessory. Women are a piece to complete him a goal in a set of rewards that mark real adulthood and success.
Ive had so many wrongs against me in my life and I dont extract myself from them... Trust me i blame myaelf hard for all the trauma ive let myaelf be in.
But i honestly just dont know what healthy is or hlw to move on.
Im scared to lose the guy im with and be alone. But if i wasnt with him would i be alone? Or qould i finally get to spread my wings and be social amd free.....

Im only just now going to be 27 and i feel like ive never lived like a 20 year old. Ive always wanted to go with friends to a club drink and dance.. Have fun... Feel free and young.....

I even find myself realizing that my chronic pain started hard after a particularly bad ... Physically related.... Fight between he and i....
I feel like im being abusjve blaming him or talking about what hes done and how its negatively affected me..... But in reality him and this abusjve relationahip have really taken a lot from me... And done a lot to me...

I have so many stories to tell and I think id like tonstart chronicaling them here one at a time.
Is sharing my stories complaining? Is it going to be a bother? Is this not the right place to do it?
Id just love to be able to anonymously get it out and hear how others see itm so i can dig out of this gaslight hole im in and see whats real....

I just dont know anymore and i dont know how to move forward....

#shouldistay #shouldigo #Abuse #abusiverelationships #mentalabuse #SexualAbuse #EmotionalAbuse #Broken #fighting #lost #grieving #venting #exposing #MyTruth #seekingsupport