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Not new, but facing new struggles

I have been having some terrible recent weeks. I was diagnosed with BD2 in 2013 after years of battling depression and anxiety. After the diagnosis, it became very evident that sharing the condition with others is often received with very negative stigmas. I have had one person in particular become "scared" of being around me and thought he had to "walk on egg shells" when I am nearby. What a complete kick in the face.

I shared my illness with my last employer and within 30 days, I was fired (October 2023). I do not KNOW the reason and none was given, so I am stuck wallowing in self-pity and believing I am the problem. Today I am in a very bad place. I rarely get so low that I think about harm, but here I am.

I am fighting to regain my confidence and poise. My wife and I are trying to open our own business, in part so I don't have to share my illness with another person only to have my heart broken. I will survive, I will move on....but today, I am in a bad place.

Onward! #Bipolar2 #fighting

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° " So I Have Been Working Alot More Even Some Overtime.. " ° #fighting Depression

° " So Since Some People Quit Working At My Job... I Was Given More Hour's.. It's Nice.. So Far.. I'm Alot More Exhausted As Ever Now. Been Going Into Work At 7AM Sometime's.. Now And Today One Of The People Who Quit Was Asking My Boss To Take Them Back... Like Hello These 2 People Are Husband And Wife.. That Used To Work At The Restaurant... They Both Didn't Give My Boss A 2 Week's Notice.. They Just Stopped Showing Up.. Also Right Now The Job Market Is Alittle Shakey.. So Why Leave.. For 2 Day's I Have Been Having Good Work Day's... So Far But Still I'm Getting Difficult Entitled Customer's... Nothing New There... My Mental Health Is Still On Month 2.. With Deep Depression.. I Can't Properly Sleep Or Eat.. I'm Trying To Find A Good Day To Go Get My I.D. To Do The Rest Of.. The Annoying Paperwork.. And Taxe's Etc...Adulting Is Extremely Hard...😉" ° Sincerely, • Skaoi Kvitravn • #Anxiety

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Fighting Depression-Still Thankful

Just posting to let you all know that no matter what physical or mental illnesses you struggle with, you can overcome (or at least coexist) with them. I know this is easier said than done (I used to be in a place where I thought my depression was hopeless). So I totally get it. I used to let my trauma define and dictate who I am because I was focused on the negative. Now I've made a practice of being thankful and searching for the positives. I am by no means perfect myself. I still have days (sometimes weeks) where I feel down. But unlike before, I don't let it stop me from living my life. Professional help and lifestyle changes certainly do help but I think it can also be your outlook on life. Ever since I started reflecting on my experiences and looked for the positive, I have been more driven, focused, happy and all around feeling like I am living life. So while I'm still in this depressed episode, I will continue to fight. Because I deserve it. Same as you. Hope this inspires someone today:)

#BipolarDisorder #PTSD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #abusesurvivor #thankful #fighting #Depression #Blessed #Hope #Inspiration


When childhood abuse leaves you mentally ill, & society throws you away.

The more I work with the mentally ill - abused when children #Bipolar , #BPD , #Depression , and more, as a #councillor and one who has these illnesses too, due to obscene #Childhood trauma, of which I’m on the mend thank goodness.
I’m no longer surprised at the horrifying abuse my clients have been subjected to when they were children, leaving them with mental illnesses, Rather, I’m sickened, with a deep sense of fury , lost on how utterly cruel, and evil their parents or family members who perpetrated the abuse are.
The abuse I suffered for years as a small child, leaving me with borderpolar, which I’ve spent years recovering from, I’m no longer angry about, it doesn’t affect me anymore, but I do still have borderpolar
My years of studying, & working on myself, helped me. I learned that healing comes when we let go, and move forward, and this helps my clients.
My point is a serious concern, about HOW is its possible, to prioritise things like #black LIVES MATTER, or #fighting CANCER, or #the WAR ON DRUGS etc, which DO matter, and ARE important subjects, needing attention, , but where’s the headlines, the hype, #help , #Care or #concern for children ( now adults) - who've been #brutally abused? And the circumstances have left them #mentally ILL as a result? And who are mostly #Homeless , #addicts to numb the pain. Who society has thrown away?

It’s not OKAY! The priorities surrounding #mental ILLNESS, don’t exist. Rather, they’re #PUNISHED AGAIN, #vilified , #abused and more,

It’s overdue, long overdue, to make headlines, hold fundraising events, highlight and educate people on #mental ILLNESS, and DO SOMETHING real to help, , to do your part in the desperately needed love and care, who’ve #suffered HORRENDOUSLY, leaving them sick and thrown away.


#fighting selfhate

My brain is pretty annoying sometimes (in a selfhatred-filled-selftalk way) and it is able to convince my feelings with that negativety. Than my brain realises that this was bullshit but my feelings don't.
And the self-hatred and otherwise negative feelings are staying. It hurts.

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I have been struggling with my mental health until now. I post today because I chose to get up and face the day. That is a milestone worth celebrating. Everything I do to survive and thrive matters. I am proud of myself. #BipolarDisorder #MentalHealth #fighting


Bipolar life

Everyday is a constant battle, not knowing if I'm gonna wake up with Tigger or Eeyore controlling my feelings that day. I don't know what normal is, because I'm always either up or down. No one around me understands why I get so frustrated, or why I'm so overwhelmed and angry, then feel sorry for me when I can't even pull myself out of bed to brush my teeth or shower. When I do finally find some sense of "balance", I'm usually so disappointed in my behavior, or things I've said that Im surprised my fiancé still loves me. Life is a constant war inside my head, and inside my body, and sometimes I'm losing. But right now, I'm #mightystrong . I'm still #fighting .


#Depression #SOBER #fighting #darkthoughts

I have been sober 5 years with zero cravings. The past 2 weeks, nearly daily, I have struggled with the urges to drink. It is concerning since I've no desire for alcohol. If anyone could reach out and talk to me, maybe that would help understand better


Who even am I?

Started back to #Therapy this week. My homework was to “do something just for me, something I enjoy”.

I had to think about that, I’m still thinking about that. My career and my life revolve around caring for people. I used to say that my #Joy comes from seeing others happy but maybe that isn’t true anymore. Maybe I have cared too much and helped too much and maybe I don’t enjoy it anymore. It’s sad to say that and I still care of course but I don’t get joy from it, I do it out of duty and responsibility now.

So what do I enjoy? What will I do this week for me?

I’ll set myself #free . I’ll allow myself to not care about anyone else, even if just for an hour. I may not know what my #selfcare will be just yet, but I’m going to let myself find it.

#Nurse #Burnout #Stress #overwhelmed #tired #angry #anxious #depressed #fighting #journey