Wreck

I’m #exhausted my #Fibromyalgia is #Flaredup . My injuries from the #Wreck as well as all the surgeries I’ve had has taken its toll on my body. My #Depression & #Anxiety have been through the roof. I still don’t know what I’m going to do. Everything that has happened I just didn’t see any of this happening. I’m sad, alone, broken, have been crying for days. Fighting #Migraine #Headache from all the crying, but today was the first day I’ve gotten a little bit of a break I only cried a little bit. My #Marriage is in the air. Not sure what’s going to happen with my entire life. Never went to my friends because I’m too flared up, but I plan to go tomorrow. So hard to make & keep plans when you’re #chronicallyill I can’t wait to get out of this house but it’s always an ordeal I usually have a #PanicAttack , #PTSD #Flashbacks every single time I leave the house & have to get in a vehicle. I’m so scared about the future. I’ve been so depressed & honestly I have had some #SuicidalThoughts but I’ve been fighting it. I need to get a therapist, that’s going to be my first plan for the new year. I need therapy bad. Sometimes taking it one day at a time is too much like someone on this app said “maybe you should take it one moment at a time”. I think that’s what I need to do. I’m going to figure this out. I deserve love. I deserve peace. I deserve happiness. I have my cats, my babies will see me through this.

My #Pain #Fibro #ChronicFatigueSyndrome has #Flared in the past week. I can’t stop sleeping & I still feel #exhausted #Drained even after being in bed basically for days on end. It’s hard not to feel depressed when I’m flared up like this but I have had snuggles from my wonderful #Cats which has helped but I still feel so blah & I’ve been canceling plans with my best friend over & over for months now. Got her a Christmas present & cant wait to see her but I have to actually get up & riding in a vehicle makes me flare even worse & starts up my #Anxiety #PTSD ever since the wreck but it seems like it’s gotten worse lately. I need to go back to therapy but then I know it would be a lot of calling into that because I’m not well enough. I feel like I can’t live my life like this but then I feel even worse because I make plans then have to cancel. I miss my old life. Before the #Wreck I feel like I’m missing everything & just existing. Everything will be okay I just need to #TakeItOneDayAtATime this too shall pass. I hope this finds you well & that your holidays were great! My mother in law got me a new soft blanket for Christmas & my cat Maric has stolen it. He’s been my snuggle buddy throughout the flare so I don’t mind sharing the blanket. I deserve peace, I deserve love, I deserve happiness.