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IS EVERY POST GOING TO BE A DEPRESSING ONE #repetitive #Yawn #Anxiety #Thoughts

No motivation whatsoever. The things that once brought me joy bring about anxiety or fear when I think about doing it. What if I fail!? What if there is mess!? What if I'm left with cleaning it up?! What if everyone hates it?! The days are long, boring,( I know mum that makes me a boring person) ... unproductive. REPETITIVE AND MONOTONOUS! FOR WHAT!? why look nice,my spouse say he likes me the best in sweats and a shirt... why shower. Know one is smelling me anyway. Its not like im getting sex all the time like I would want cuz hes " tired".... I have done the hair, the makeup, new outfits, cooking his favorite meal. And I get, the end of the night sex, ... after everyone is in bed, after he has turned on a show in our bed....
I just look at my life and go... THIS IS IT.?! then I spiral. I dont have money to get the DBT therapy that I so desperately need. He gets tools for work. Food. Work clothes. I have to go and pawn toys or dvds so that I can buy myself a pair of jeans cuz I dont have any or pay for school fees for the kids. I ALWATS put myself LAST. and its an eye roll. Or a HUGE SIGH, if I even ask for a night away. Or a winter coat THAT I DONT OWN IN CANADA... because we " can't afford it" ...
And then I spiral...
I NEED DBT therapy... no money.
I need to paint.... no money
I need a night away... no money.
I need to feel appreciated.... he has " no time".....


Unable to sleep #Sleep #Yawn #sotired

Have you ever yawned and just felt that it would not be satisfying? They roll in one after the other, make your eyes water, but they do nothing for you?

I’ve gotten two hours of sleep tonight from 12 to 2, but have been unable to go back to sleep. It’s frustrating and even becoming painful(?). I can feel the tiredness in me, but I can’t do anything to help it along. I tried classical music, soothing sounds and music, mindfulness imagery, crying. Nothing. I’m hoping that this entry will tire me out more and I’ll be asleep in no time.

There’s another unsatisfying yawn.

It’s 3:04am now. I have to be up at 5:30am to work 7am to 5pm. I can do it, but I definitely prefer to be rested. Not necessarily well-rested. Just somewhat rested.

These yawns are getting old.

That last one felt a little better. I’m going to try to sleep again. Wish me luck. And good luck to all those struggling, too.

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Good Morning #Giggles

Morning Mighty Family

I slept most of yesterday and I mean slept. I'm on new meds and I think they are making me very tired. Yawn.
As soon as I wake up I want a nap.
So yesterday I gave in to the tiredness and slept all day. Guess what I'm still blooming tired.
Time to speak to my Doctor I think. 😂😁🤔

I'm awake now but give me an hour and all I want is to go back to sleep. I suppose this is a good way to pass lockdown but ......how long will it last...

So from being an insomniac to being asleep all the time is very strange indeed. A very strange situation indeed. They are helping my cluster headaches a bit.

Mmm what to do?
😴😴😴 I'll catch you when I'm awake next. Yawn . I need match sticks to keep my eyes open
And something to stir my brain to make it work. 🤯
🤗😘🧡❤Tj love n hugs
#Yawn #tired #fatique #sleeping #RareDisease #ClusterHeadaches #Bekind #checkonyourneighbours #Love #Family