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    Moving from Lexapro to Zoloft Tw: suicidality mention

    About 4 weeks ago I started Zoloft and stopped taking Lexapro.

    The first three days were horrible. I felt like I did when I had a bad reaction to an antibiotic, and felt suicidal for the first time in years.

    Called and left a message at my psychiatrist's office with no reply.

    I am on a 25 mg dose and have tried taking two, bumping up to 50 and felt *almost* ok, have been toughing it out for the last few weeks.

    Work has been exhausting and I'm afraid. I have not been myself.

    I am hoping that my appointment will see an increase to 50 or 100, since 25 is not helping handle things at all.

    #Zoloft #Sertraline #MajorDepression #TW

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    Sleep terror experience

    I just woke up from the worst #sleepterror of my life. I am staying at a friends and I must have scared the beans out of her when sge rushed in to find me standing and screaming bloody murder. I screamed so hard and so long that my throat and chest are still burning an hour later. I’ve had night terrors before but never this bad. I recently tapered completely off of Zoloft so I’m wondering if this is another side effect of #ssriwithdrawal
    Anyone else experience this? #CheckInWithMe #nightterrors #PTSD #Zoloft

    Post

    Zoloft and sexual side effects?

    I just recently started Zoloft. 50 mgs to start. I'm really hopeful as it's supposed to treat several of my illnesses, not just depression. I've been on so many meds and have experienced so many side effects that most don't even bother me. Nausea? Zofran. A little weight gain? Psssh... Show me to the buffet! Headaches? Bring it!! I've dealt with chronic migraines for 30+ years! I can handle a little headache! Sexual side effects? WHOA. HOLD THE PHONES. STOP RIGHT THERE! I'm in a very healthy, happy, wonderful monogamous relationship. And one thing I LOVE is ... Y'know ... enjoying his company. So... Past and current Zolofters? What've been your experiences with Zoloft and sexual side effects? Cuz uhh... Yeah. I kinda like it and kinda don't want to lose it? Thanks! #Zoloft #SideEffects #SexualDysfunctions

    Post

    It was funny after I got over the scare .. I'm sorry P 😂🤪🙃

    * all references to age, gender, & ethnicity are for illustrative purposes alone 🤪😂

    So I got a call in the evening from the hospital, they tell me that for my next therapy appointment, I will be seeing a different/new psychologist (WHY. - WHO said you could do it???)

    Apparently new psychologist guy is Caucasian, at least 50, has a greying moustache (wow gotta love this) - I have nothing against Caucasian males above the age of 50 with a greying moustache (😂😬) but ... that's not P. P, my psychologist, is 35M, Asian Chinese, the only therapy professional I will ever see because of ... general distrust with the MH system hahaha 🙃

    So apparently I get a call from the therapy clinic receptionist, a middle-aged Malay lady, also about 50-60 years old. She reminds me of an ahjumma (😂), or the equivalent of an ahjumma in whatever your culture is. Malay receptionist woman (on the phone) goes on and on about how I cannot make changes, this is the current protocol and allocation, I need to at least give old-Caucasian-guy a shot .. no, I cannot have an appointment with P. She even tries to tell me to calm down(!)

    It is also towards the end of the work day, so she tells me there is a limit to what she can do, effectively also putting an end to my protests.

    In my DESPERATION like -- what do you mean I cannot have P? omg, what are you thinking? -- I, 31-yo, suggest to my mother (60s) to help me make a complaint. Like, I guess, power of more-than-1 lol (but yes 😑 Which 31F person gets her mother in her 60s to lodge a complaint .. lol)

    Then I wake up 😌☺️, & I remember I have appointments booked for June & July. In our last conversation in May's appointment, P said -- "okayokayokay, if I have concrete resignation plans, I'll let you know" -- still gonna check my online records to be sure HAHA.

    🙃😌☺️

    HAHAHAHAHA sorry to all the Malay makciks/"aunties"/Caucasian middle-aged male psychologists with greying moustaches - you're great folks but Sertraline dreams are their own movie script!!!

    The kicker is there is no Caucasian male psychologist at the dept where P works - he's the only male psychologist in the dept 🙃

    If you haven't already figured, this was a Sertraline/Zoloft-induced dream and completely fictional 🙃 Imagine if I went in protesting/screaming about it in 1.5 weeks ...

    See you in June (&July) P! 🙃😂

    #CheckInWithMe #MentalHealth #Anxiety #SocialAnxiety #Zoloft #Sertraline

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    Worried I May Have Been Misdiagnosed at some point#Bipolar2Disorder #Anxiety #Depression #Zoloft #Abilify

    I just had therapy this morning and my therapist noted again that I seemed up and down emotionally during the session. I will note than recently I was in the process of tapering off Abilify which was not successful because after 3 weeks I just couldn't handle withdrawal symptoms and the increase in anxiety. A week ago I went back on my regular dose of Abilify. In the last few days, I have been experiencing mild-moderate depressive symptoms. Mainly low mood, lack of focus etc.

    My therapist has noted in our last two sessions that I'm up and down emotionally. It may be unnecessary worry but I'm concerned that sometime in the past I may have been misdiagnosed. I've had a diagnosis of major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder/panic disorder for many years. I'm wondering if instead of depression there's a possibility that it's actually bipolar 2.

    I was curious so I searched for information online about bipolar 2 and there are a few symptoms that sound like some of what I have experienced. Believe me I'm not taking the possibility of being misdiagnosed lightly, I'm actually concerned.

    I don't know if I'm just acclimating back to Abilify or if somehow the smaller dose of Abilify that I was tapering on somehow uncovered symptoms of bipolar.

    I'm trying not to ruminate on the situation which is why I decided to post. Thank you for reading.

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    For those who are on anti-depressants …

    #Zoloft #BPD

    Quick backstory, I was diagnosed with Bipolar II back in early May of this year. I was given Zoloft and Divalproex to ease my symptoms. A few months in, I noticed something funny was happening in my sleep cycle. There were mornings (more intensely after a night of drinking) where I was suddenly woken up from my sleep by someone repeatedly calling my name. I’d slowly wake up thinking, “What in the hell? Is my sister at my door?” but then I realize that in the quietness of it all, I hear it again and again, and I realize that it is indeed not my sister but possibly just a small episode of mild hallucinating.

    In other instances, on my way to work in the mornings I would stuff my phone in my work tote and all of a sudden while driving I would hear my alarm go off. I would reach for my phone, scrambling everything around in my tote trying to find it thinking I must’ve snoozed instead of hitting dismiss, and sure enough, as soon as I pull it out, nothing. No alarms, notifications, texts, nothing. Quiet. The alarm sounds were not real. So then, I’ll stuff it back in my tote only for the same thing to happen again. It got to the point where I would eventually stopped checking it.

    Also, a few times I’ve woken up in a panic thinking I’m late for work on my days off because the sound of my alarm sounds is so extremely vivid (and is not a dream) that it wakes me from the middle of a deep sleep, only to get up and look at my phone and see that it’s a Saturday and that my alarms are disabled on the weekends.

    Has anyone ever had similar experiences when it comes to taking anti-depressants? I am very interested in hearing your stories.

    Post

    Coming to 7 weeks of dose increment ...

    Omg I'm so tired today - tomorrow (10/12 Fri) is 7 weeks of 50mg to 100mg Sertraline.

    To be fair, I can't be 100% sure cos life has just been extremely convoluted and plot twist-y these few weeks, might just also be the mental exhaustion of all these unexpected turns and changes, and ... feelings & responses are tiring, you know 🙃

    But I'm just so very tired today, not just in the physically exhausted/sleepy sense, but .. the ... I don't really want to interact with people and talking to a fellow human being takes lots of effort & don't ask me to eat my dinner - I will do so when I feel that the people-y energy has kinda sufficiently faded ... that sorta thing (I ended up eating dinner at like 9.30 or 10pm or something, definitely past 9 heh)

    ... is it the increased dose causing some sort of antisocial/sensory overload thing? So many questions? Does an increase of Sertraline cause such things?

    Right now it's like almost 2am and I know I should sleep but there are also several other things I'm thinking abt that I know I need to settle/ask but omg the inertia is like super duper real (but for now it's the wee hours of the morning so we can think of that tomorrow)

    I'm not even sure whats what, because while it's tempting/convenient to put it down to meds (simply cus it IS one of the listed/commonly experienced effects), ... that's not the only change that's gone on in these few weeks of my plot twist-y life.

    How do I know 100mg Sertraline is working, btw? : ) How do I tell if I should keep this dose or switch back to 50mg?

    I'm using my essential oil roll-on like a safety blanket (lolol) now, I feel like a child but it's so fresh & comforting & I love it (it's a blend of eucalyptus/tea tree/peppermint, probably helps with headaches and bad noses ... but it helps my bad day hahahaha) 🙃

    .My brain is still a puddle of mush thinking exactly how to describe this month's life happenings to P at my appt next week 🙃 helpppp.

    #CheckInWithMe #Sertraline #Zoloft #Anxiety #SocialAnxiety #MentalHealth

    Post

    Sertraline: 100mg, 2.5 weeks, night

    Strangely (or not?), this time I find myself being more tired - I end up being more able to sleep 7 to 7.5h (haha not complaining) which I don't remember experiencing before. In fact, it's precisely cus it kept me awake previously that I'd take it after breakfast - but I take it before bed now 🙃😂

    Late last week, I received a note from the MH hospital that my psychiatrist wants to move the appt a month forward, so I'll see her in April '22 instead of May - great, I'm not complaining. Sounds like a plan to me (also: gives less space of running out on this increase-dose-myself-thing ...)

    In terms of effects/experiences -

    Physical: still takes me a while to be hungry/still sometimes takes conscious effort to eat. dry mouth is real[er] - dry mouth is ALWAYS real 😂. still gagging on reflex in the morning, don't think it will ever go away hahhaha but I think I'm generally able to wait it out - makes me tear a bit though, bleh. Not sure if I'm having some kinda reflux, felt some kind of weird mucus feeling before brushing teeth just before bed tonight.

    Mental/emotional: a bit more distant from anxious thoughts, but also a bit more insecure on personal judgment [?] - I think I asked my boss a few stupid questions today 🤪 Then I caught myself, wondered if it was the meds making me this unsure of myself, and thought - oh, would I ordinarily have needed to reconfirm this? 😂 Cus I was like, "just to check, ... xxx", "doublechecking in case I missed something", "seems to me but wanted your opinion/unsure" -- which he was like "ok yup, tell [person]"

    Then I felt like, omg, I should just trust my gut and pass on my observations to relevant person right ... lol. Like do I really need to run through my boss/would I ordinarily have done it, or would I just go straight to relevant person 🤦‍♀️ I hope he doesn't think I'm becoming dumb. Sorry boss! 🤪

    Also ft weird dreams like (wow this is vivid and I remember it) - I dreamt my boss told us we were going on half-pay [which is a real thing that happened in June]. Then I got really shocked, but reminded myself of my pay increase [this is also real - increment circa October], and reasoned to myself that I would have $x amount more take home pay this time. ... then I woke up and reminded myself it was a dream.

    😂

    #CheckInWithMe #MentalHealth #SocialAnxiety #Anxiety #Sertraline #Zoloft

    Post

    Sertraline [help]: proceed with caution lol.

    Note of disclosure: I know, there are prolly better ways to do this, yadda yadda. So in view of that, I'm not ready to take any kind of "you should know better", "why didn't you ..", "Should you try ... instead" - things as they are now, just are, okkkk. So if you're gonna chide me, you can save it. Thanks 🙃

    If you read through my recent posts, in the past 2 weeks after the recent appt with my psychiatrist & my call with P (my psychologist), I've been feeling really anxious about ... dunno. Just this really persistent anxious vibe of walking on eggshells all the time - and the weekend after the call with P, it felt like - why don't I just do something about it?

    So .. I decided .. to ... try increasing my dose of Sertraline from 50mg to 100mg 👉🏻👈🏻 I've been on 100mg before, quite awhile back and/but 50mg is like, maintenance dose. I think.

    It's been just over a week (👉🏻👈🏻), and ... I don't know? Has anyone else done anything like that before (especially in relation to Sertraline - ie move yourself to a higher dose you've been prior put on, on your own accord)?

    So far it's been ok, nothing too unbearable (🙃), minus the appetite loss (uh I think I dropped 4lb/2kg. Not complaining), and bouts of feeling sick -i think they're related 🙃. & I'm realising each time I do a takeaway I'm either not finishing my food or choosing a side instead of a main lol but OKAY. 🙃 But I'm still able to eat (though sometimes less than usual), so yeah thankfully.

    Dry mouth sucks and probably makes me feel even more sick even more easily but thats not hard to resolve, by ensuring I use a bigger water bottle haha.

    Not sure if it's just placebo but in the time since, I think I have had more (and sometimes unexpected) sparks of clarity where I would otherwise have panicked lol. I'm definitely not all free of anxiety but I do catch myself in moments of "wow I used logic instead of panic ..." 😂🤪 Not sure if it's just placebo.

    The thing is, I do have enough meds to do this for a while per se bc the last time I was prescribed slightly extra, in case I had to change appt or as a buffer in case isolation caused appts to be cancelled.

    😳😳😳 anyone else tried putting yourself back on an old dose of meds before (esp Sertraline/Zoloft) on your own accord?

    🙃

    #CheckInWithMe #MentalHealth #Anxiety #SocialAnxiety #Zoloft #Sertraline