abandomentissues

When some tells you they love you, do you ever wonder if they don't mean it?

#abandomentissues #tired

I’m not sure how this works. This is my first post. I have severe trust issues, and I feel as though I am ruining my marriage. I can’t stop being so suspicious. I love my husband, and I know he loves me too. But, he broke my trust early on in our relationship, and I don’t think I’ve recovered. I’ve been trying to change the way I preceive things. Especially, when it comes to being triggered by things my husband does, not matter if it’s intentional or unintentional. Either way, I feel instantly consumed by negative thoughts and suspicion. I feel like sometimes, I can’t trust my own feeling, because they can go from rationable, reasonable to completely irrational in moments. Then an overwhelming desire to get answers for why I’m thinking this way never turns out pretty. I’ve accused, and assumed, the worst case senarios, as belief. I just want to stop the way I react to some things.
Open to suggestions.
Thank you for reading.

I had this dream that I was abandoned by someone I cared about and he went back to his ex and this is what I’ve been fearing in real life and I woke up with a heavy feeling in my chest and I started freaking out. I feel like I’m losing control of myself and I feel like I’m just losing again. I’m wondering why I’m still here again. I just know that I’m no longer needed. I just know that I’m going to get hurt again. I’m hating myself right now because at this point, it doesn’t matter if I’ve been a good person with a loving heart... I’m just not good enough for anyone. Every man that enters my life always leaves me. Everything just hurts, I feel like my skin is on fire and I want to just sit in bed and cry. I just know that I’m going to get abandoned again, everyone seems to be fine with hurting me as long as they get what they want. #MentalHealth #Depression #abandomentissues #FearOfAbandonment #hurtfeelings

I’m dealing with abandonment issues today. I don’t wanna have a pity party but o feel unlovable today. #FearOfAbandonment #abandomentissues #abandonanxiety

I'm tired of allowing people into my life who always seem to leave after a while of knowing me. When this happens, I automatically think that it's me- I'm not interesting enough, I'm not worth the time, I'm not enough, period. I feel so frustrated and abandoned. Lately, I've been feeling like it would be better for me to disappear from every person who has slighted me. I'd like to believe that I could have normal relationship, but it all ends with me wondering why they've left. And I'm left feeling empty more than I did before. This is torture. #MentalHealth #Depression #Sadness #anger #abandonment #abandomentissues #frustrated #imnotenough #beingleftout #tiredofitall #relationshipsarehard #friendshipstruggles

#abandomentissues

I have been through tons of bs in my life....I was able to survive and maintain a cold exterior. in the past year I had to for my own sanity cut my mother and siblings out of my life. I quit a job I loved for amazing money, which I ended up leaving shortly behind starting. My saving grace through being unemployed( due to now being extremely over qualified), losing my entire family, and having to split my kid on the holidays is my amazing ever so present boyfriend. Since I began the nightmare job anger has arose in me like I never felt before. I take it out on this guy that I doesnt deserve it like a "kick the dog" effect. I have no idea why I start the stupid shit I say. I am diagnosed with #obsessiveconpulsivethoughtdiaorder #PTSD and #ADD with a touch of #abandomentissues . He wanted to leave me tonight. That's when I found these apps. He is fed up with my continual insecurities of my ex rubbing off on him. The poor guy cant look at his fb without me accusing him of looking at other woman. If he wants to go cut his hair and takes too long I assume he is cheating on me. My logical mind knows that none of this is true but I begin to ruminate when left alone to my own devices. i become suspicious and aggressively verbally attack him. i start fights and he states every other day that i am going to start a fight. He is generally right he says he can see it. i do not or shall i say did not previously feel it coming on. once it starts I cannot control it it becomes an avalanche of harsh words and things only designed to hurt him. He has flaws but they are way less than mine.
I believe mine come from an entire string of abuse mostly the one from my mother who was emotionally abusive and a borderline disability. I need advice. how do I stop this how can I make this end? I cant afford to lose him he deserves the better part of me.