Just need someone to hear me and understand
I am sitting in my chair at the house with my loving loyal dogs with tears streaming down my face. I don’t think I even can explain all the emotions I am feelingrifht now. I am just home from another doctor appointment who was very pleased with themselves when they told me (one of so many) how healthy I am and how fortunate I am because all of their tests and questions lead to finding nothing. I am happy yet also furious. No one wants to help me figure out what’s going on with me. Just tell me to exercise more and things would be oh so much better. I have had the same basic symptoms come and go for 10+ years with the last 2 years getting so bad I have had to give up teaching and wasn’t even able to do it part time or anything else I trieed. Physically and mentally, I guess I just feel broken. The symptoms get worse and new ones add on. And I am so emotionally exhausted from the pain and the fact that I can’t do the things I want to that I am constantly angry at the people around me and feel worthless. I am seeing a therapist but haven’t found one who’s been able to help me cope with this part of my depression. My family loves me and provides the only support they k ow how. But I can’t take another well that’s wonderful they didn’t find anything wrong. I am screaming silently with frustration and pain and the agony of people’s expectations of me because everything’s “ok” me you look great this is the first time I posted and This is probably rambling but I just needed to get some of this out of me. Thanks for listening to my rant.