anhedonia

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    What is Anhedonia?

    <p>What is Anhedonia?</p>
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    Anhedonia

    The one depressive symptom that always drives me nuts. When my depression progresses to a certain point I completely lose all stimulation. Nothing interests me anymore when I get like this. All things that I use to create healthy distractions to keep me out of my head no longer do so. It is like you have been thrown into a small room with nothing. No windows, nothing to look at. Just plain gray walls and silence. It becomes maddening after awhile. You become a prisoner in your own mind. You can’t see the shackles but you can feel them. #anhedonia #Depression #ChronicDepression

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    Nowhere to go from here

    <p>Nowhere to go from here</p>
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    Losing the will to live

    It all started this summer I was feeling a bit off and run down. This was my first year of college and I’m also a runner so I was putting In 40-45 miles a week. I also noticed that I was having weird reactions to coffee. I felt weird sorta like panicky but I ignored it thinking it was in my head. Then one day in August after a ten mile run it was hot too I think I had too much caffeine I felt like I had a panic attack I didn’t feel right couldn’t focus on anything. Weeks after it felt like all the adrenaline was being sucked out of me I would feel panicky and the world around me became less and less real. My mental clarity was absolutely gone. I told my coaches something was wrong unfortunately collge coaches don’t listen well so I had to keep running for a bit. I eventually was able to get my parents to call my coaches to make them stop running me and in October I was diagnosed with mono and came down with the sore throat then. Ever since the time in August I’m left in this dissociated/ derealization state. Feels like I’m in a dream. Nothing interests me and I have extreme mental fatigue and I can’t emotionally connect with anyone anymore. I also can’t go to school anymore cause I’m just so tired. Honestly back at school I felt like I was dying. Has anyone dealt with mono like this before? I’m scared I’m never going to get better. I don’t even remember what normal feels like. Could something else be wrong or is this all stress related and because I overdid it possibly? I’m also going to see a neurologist to rule out anything there. Wondering if my brain could possibly be inflamed because I can’t imagine anyone ever feeling so bad. Thinking maybe it passed my blood brain barrier. I feel like I’m going crazy and I haven’t heard mono affecting anyone like this. I want my old life back 😞 #BrainFog #ChronicFatigue #Derealization #Fatigue #MentalHealth #Anxiety #DissociationDisorders #anhedonia #apathy

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    The Mighty’s Top 10 Most-Read Stories of 2021: #9

    <p>The Mighty’s Top 10 Most-Read Stories of 2021: <a class="tm-topic-link ugc-topic" title="9" href="/topic/9/" data-id="5c862a81b6b3ee00ed4c941e" data-name="9" aria-label="hashtag 9">#9</a> </p>
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    I've had a recent change in meds and one of the biggest changes I've noticed is my withering connection to the joys in my life. A large source of my peace has always been my relationship with God and it is scary to me that since on this new med I can hardly pray. I know for certain that it is the medication because it is in many more areas than just my spiritual life. However, this is the one area that really bothers me.

    How do you deal with anhedonia? How have you remained connected spiritually? There are pluses, but this is definitely not one of them.

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    Anhedonia - A Poem

    I feel the slowness
    It grows on my mind
    Like a tree in the wild
    I think it stops and restarts
    Then it starts to become intense
    What I’m doing becomes worthless
    My time spent, meaningless
    My effort, a waste of time
    I grow tired of what is happening
    And then try something else
    Only to feel the same way in a few minutes time

    #anhedonia

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    Relaxing

    <p>Relaxing</p>
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    Anhedonia is the worst symptom (for me) #Depression #PTSD #anhedonia

    Of everything I have I’ve always thought anhedonia was the worst symptom. At least with panic attacks, episodes they are temporary and you are go back to something you like. Even a couple of meltdowns I’ve recovered...a bit from you find something to do.

    I was goal oriented and just interested in a lot. You could say “everything”. I had plans, wanted to travel, active in combat sports, music, or even as simple as watching a movie (now I “pray” I find a series to binge watch) but with anhedonia, it sucks first of all. You’ve got many unfinished goals, projects, years have been wasted and you feel guilty. The worst is you take action to get started on something again and you literally can’t concentrate...you’re not feeling it so for me I sadly set my guitar, etc. down for “later”.

    You see everyone else surpass you when you began before they did. One example was BJJ where I actually taught a guy from scratch and just found out he’s a black belt. I won’t lie I’m proud but more hurting inside.

    I’m sure it has much to do with loneliness. My upbringing was hell, just making it short. I didn’t beat social anxiety until I was 23, another story. I had a few good years but short-lived and have shades/habits of SA.

    It is something people cannot comprehend, including myself during those brief short years of good times. So I quit explaining it extensively.

    I had put my name on a local musician’s listing a few years ago, forgot about it, but got called and got together with a blues singer n Co. last week. Not to toot my own horn but I was on par with another seasoned guitarist who toured everywhere telling me crazy, fun stories while I was isolated all these years. We jammed and I had fun for once. We all had a good time. I got more interested “in things” and that lasted to the day after before sinking into depression again. Hope they call back. First post.

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    Moxie