antisocialbehaviors

I was doing okay for two straight days. I smiled, laughed, and even left the house a couple times. I actually took a shower and changed my clothes too... And now it all just comes crashing back down. Why does it feel like this is reality and every time I'm even just a little bit happy it feels like a fantasy world instead of something realistic? #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #EatingDisorders #antisocialbehaviors #Anxiety

Getting annoyed with my living arrangements. Unfortunately there is nothing I can do about it. This is why I am now just sitting in my car typing this...ugh! 🤦‍♀️ #Needabreak #Depression #antisocialbehaviors

Going to go spend some time tomorrow with my daughter and her boyfriend. I enjoy seeing them but I realy hate leaving the house when I don’t have to. But I know that I will enjoy myself if I just force myself to do it ya know? I hate that I am so anti socia but I do wish I could just climb into my comfortable little bubble and just stay there. #Despression #antisocialbehaviors

I was abused in so many ways as a kid that it split my personality. #ChildhoodAbuse #SexualAbuse #physicalabuse #EmotionalAbuse #financialblackmail #verbalabuse When I would lash out against my abuser I would get arrested because his bff was the sherriff of our little town. #rurallife and when I told my mom what was going on her answer was #thatsjusthowheshowshelovesyou #whatslovegottodowithit so I tried #Suicide 6 times before i was 15 and then i was in a #CarAccident with a #headtrauma and #Coma for 6 weeks i guess he came clean to her and said he hoped I'd wake up and not remember any of it. Well guess what I REMEMBER EVERYTHING except the good parts of my childhood. So then I started using #Drugs to mask my internal turmoil and quickly became an #Addict I'm clean now 25years but I still struggle daily with #Depression #moodswings #antisocialbehaviors #SuicidalThoughts #ChronicPain #borderlinemultiplepersonalities to spite all my issues I still try to help other people and recently helped a bunch of folks who lost everything in a massive fire and got seriously injured in the process. I was #mauled by 9 rodegian ridgbacks and spent 2 weeks in the hospital and now I'm trying to recover from that and I fight with my demons continuously. They say #whatdoesntkillyouonlymakesyoustronger I say that's b.s!! I would have been invincible before I was 10. I'm writting my life story because sometimes it doesnt even seem real to me!