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Wanting to be a mommy

This is more than baby fever. I hate that no matter who it be, they judge me for wanting a baby because of my age. Me saying i want to have a baby doesn’t mean i’m rushing things or that i don’t understand what it takes to be a mom. I say i want to be a mommy because i know exactly what it takes, nobody at all can comprehend the level that my mindset is at. No one is going to tell me i shouldn’t have one because i’ll go mentally insane or it’ll make me worse. That’s all for me to decide. I’ve studied myself since the age of 7, my self awareness and awareness to the world isnt something for you to assume. My pysch team even said it. I’ve wanted a baby since i was 18 and i am now 20, not pregnant, still with the same partner i fell inlove with 3 years ago and everyone around us judges me for wanting his child? Are you kidding me? I could’ve tried for it by now but i’m not being stupid. I’m waiting for the right time and for me that would be when i have my own home and a true commitment so nothing can hinder the way we want to raise the human we create. I worry because i have a tumour on my ovary and uterus but people don’t assume anything’s ever wrong with a 20 year old. Now that the surgeries were postponed for covid, my chances of not being able to carry are higher. We don’t know whether or not it’s cancerous until after i have the surgery so he has to treat it as though it is when he removes it. Which means more chances of losing my uterus. I just want to experience a full pregnancy as i’ve had an ectopic with the same partner a year back and even then i was ready for a baby that i couldn’t have. My partner and I (before we found out i have a rumour) wanted to go the IVF route one day, his dad had passed away from huntington’s disease and we don’t know whether or not he carries it too but even if he didn’t, huntington’s skips generations too so our child would have a high chance still. But now, we know i might not be able to even have children after this surgery and it just feels like i’ve wanted this forever and i waited but it’s just to late. Yes i want to adopt in the future, but i wanted that first experience of creating a miracle in fusion of my favourite person and I. I’m just not in control, of my mind or my body. I want someone to just understand how i feel .

#bpdnightmare #b
#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #

6 comments
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gender dysphoria #b

I would like to read and connect with adults or parents who child suffers from gender dysphoria and mental illness. Before, please search and learn about this great lawyer who advocate for gender affirming treatment, Chase Strangio
#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

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☆*Th€*M¡GhT¥*¡S* #b €¥OND *☆ #intriguing # helpful #Needed

I have so much to say about #TheMighty #loveit #Finallyhavesomeanswers #pleasantlysurprised #beyondthankful #HSP - I'm 58 years old , I'm not a psychologist or psychiatrist; however, I've always been extremely in everything about the human mind. Never heard of #HSP - #HighlysensitivePerson and I thought I should have heard of it, due to much study re: #psychology courses in university, as well as research, #themindisamystery why do I have severe #Anxiety #PanicAttacks , #Depression , #hypersensitivity , #HighlysensitivePerson
The topic I read was #HSP #hypersensitivity
#highlysensitivite #themightyquiz
#MightyTogether #mightyworks #mustreadthemighty #thehspquiz #theanswer #thenameofwhatur #yourenotalone give #TheMighty a chance. It has enlightened me and helped me understand myself, & lmkwhythisishappeningtome #thelord & #themightyblog has given me #Hope !!! Can't thank you enough !!! , #imamighty ♡j€NN¥♡

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I got you. Keep Going. #b

Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end.

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#b #mommaoftwo #lotus #Bipolartype2

Wow! I am so happy I found this site. I have been trying to find a community of others with bipolar disorder that would embrace me with open arms. I have been struggling since around the time I was diagnosed at just thirteen years old. I am now twenty-seven and I mother of two. I have suffered significantly since having children; I have been hospitalized involuntarily twice since becoming a mom to my two toddler-aged children. I suffer from Type II, so I mostly deal with depression. I keep a mental health blog and it is extremely therapeutic to me. The blog address, for those interested, is thelotusletter.blogspot.com

I am eager to hear all of your thoughts about Bipolar and your experiences. I am feeling truly grateful to be a part of this group.