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Anxiety is making me feel so LOST, so now I'm ranting about it!

I'm fairly new to this website, but I figured if anyone could help or relate to me, it would be this page! I'm a mom of three, who has probably suffered with mental illness my whole life (just unaware of it, but I've learned so much, and continue to learn as well) and my children are my life, and even though I've made mistakes in the past I've learned that I'm not the same person I once was, because I lacked the knowledge that I now have. My problem now is, that I just feel lost! I'm sure it's the anxiety that keeps me feeling unsure, and having no clue what to do with my life! The more I try to figure it all out, the more I just feel confused and stuck! More than anything in the world, I just want to have a career (that gives me purpose) that not only financially supports us, but makes my kids proud of me! I let them down so many times by not being able to stick with a job, and I just want to feel normal, confident, ambitious, and clear minded. Lord please just tell me the steps I need to take to be able to do all of this, I've pleaded so many times, and maybe one day I'll get my answer lol! The ironic part is that I'm always so good at helping others, but can't seem to ever be able to mentally do it for myself! #Healing #anxietysucks
#mental illness #venting #mother #lost #Anxiety #Bedtime #alone #Thoughts #rant #


Bedtime Routine

I find one of the best things that helps me slow down and relax is my bedtime routine.

•I start getting ready for bed around 9 or 9:30pm
•I take my evening medications with a large glass of water
•I try to work in a shower
•Then I put on my pajamas, brush my teeth and hair, floss my teeth and use mouthwash, allergy nasal medication
•Then I get my water and essential oil (I love lavender) ready and put in my diffuser
•Set my alarms
•Read or talk to my husband
•Fall asleep (sometimes it takes awhile)

Do I always do this exactly? No. On my bad days I put pajamas on and set my alarms. But I'm learning that's okay.

What are your thoughts on a bedtime routine?

#Depression #Anxiety #Bedtime

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Night time routine

The key to having a great day starts the night before. Improve your night time routine and improve your days.

#Nighttime #Bedtime #Bedtimeroutine #nighttimeroutine #HealthyHabits #healthyroutine


Beds & #ChronicPain

My uncle was talking about his old waterbed and how it had a heated setting. He said “man, in the winter time that thing was cozy”. All I could think about was how MARVELOUS that would feel when my bodies throbbing. #ChronicPain #Bedtime

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I made it 🥴

I arrived in Vancouver!!! I had 3 seizures today, a boat load of anxiety, and sensory overload.... but I made it! 👊🏻🙏🏼 My meds make me loopy, so I got one of those ‘crowd dividers’ commonly referred to as a wheelchair with my own handy-dandy driver. Certainly made dealing with the crowds easier. I’m pretty sure all the strangers we passed thought I was drunk haha 🤣 my doped-up-droopy face probably didn’t help either 🤷🏻‍♀️ The picture above is me at our AirBnB, finally in my jammies and about to wash my face... it feels soooo good to bed out of the crowds and anxiety-free. Now, time for food and then sleep. #Anxiety #Seizures #PTSD #Travel #tired #Bedtime


Why I zone out and watch TV at night

I was trying to think of a topic I might cover today that defines how I feel almost every night. I think this is good. I am a pretty happy, pretty positive person. I like to think so, anyway. I am hard working. I do two jobs, plus any other things I need to do at home. I’m trying to be the best friend I can be, the best daughter, the best sister. But I know that, despite all of my awesomeness, I’m still going to always struggle with OCD and #nvld .

Every morning, I get up and, when I get ready for work, I kind of prepare myself for any hard situations. I think of all the skills I learned as a kid, skills that come naturally to others like recognizing non-verbal cues, that I just have to be aware of. I can be a chatterbox. I try to reign it in. Other times, I’m quiet, and I need to sometimes branch out. If my #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder is running high despite medicine, I use my exercises (hopefully) to clamp it down. Lately, that’s been enough to defeat OCD. By the end of each day, I’m exhausted. Mentally and physically. But I love the night. I love the way it is quiet and peaceful. I love late night TV. I like reading at night time.

Sometimes, if I’m feeling energetic, I’ll go out. But most days, I am home at night. Books and TV keep me company, along with family. Sometimes, having #Superstore or #JimmyFallon on will get me in the right mood for bedtime. Maybe a book too. Maybe some baseball. The truth is, mental illness can be exhausting. TV, books and movies, they all help me transition to #Bedtime #Anxiety #TheGoodDoctor