Bipolar 1 Disorder

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I’m new here!

Hi, my name is silversoul18.
I was diagnosed at 20 with Bipolar 1. I have been through therapists and psychiatrists for many different reasons. Continually put on different medications to help with symptoms. Everything seemed has not gone well. Finally, have had clarity recently and have found a new therapist I really like and a psychiatrist who gave me a second opinion (wanted to make sure new RX was appropriate since nothing else has worked). After talking with him for quite some time he told me he thought I had been misdiagnosed. He believes I have BPD. After researching and changing my medications around and therapist changing gears with me.. I finally feel like I understand myself and my thoughts and actions make sense. I have had 20 years of the wrong medication, ECT, TMS, multiple psych hospital stays, and therapists.. within a month I’m feeling like I’m changing.. I’d love to have a community and other people who understand what it’s like to try and jus be with their mental health and who may have BPD.
#MightyTogether #Anxiety #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Migraine

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10 reactions 3 comments
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Meds/Bipolar 1 #Bipolar1

Anyone on medication for Bipolar 1 that hasn’t caused weight gain? Do you function? Any side effects? #Bipolar1

1 reaction 1 comment
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Meds/Bipolar 1 #Bipolar1

Anyone on medication for Bipolar 1 that hasn’t caused weight gain? Do you function? Any side effects? #Bipolar1

1 reaction 1 comment
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Enmeshed Family Problems

Trigger Warning: childhood sexual abuse

My family and I have a very enmeshed family relationship since I was a child. I’m soon to be 32 and I’m still living at home with them but I am working on getting a job in my field and hopefully going to a group home which is plan a or leaving on my own but still trying to get affordable housing which is plan b. I yelled at my mother yesterday and told her that I knew about her past. I’m currently living with my abuser and though my therapist keeps telling me to leave (she’s telling me to consider a shelter), there’s a part of me that doesn’t want to because of this enmeshment that I’ve been subjected to.

Its too much. It’s too much to be a survivor of childhood sexual abuse by a relative that I live with (I’ve started talking about it in therapy and writing poetry about it) and to be enmeshed with narcissistic parents. I know what I have to do. I know that I have to leave and break off contact with all of them but my heart doesnt agree with this.

They have been there this year for me when my health has been bad and since I’ve been jobless. And they been in my life since the day I was born and they have provided for me financially- that’s it. They are definitely narcissists and have abused me and my siblings our entire lives and the end results of that are showing through addictions and other serious problems. I just wanted to vent. I feel a lot of pain and sorrow and I don’t know how I’m going to move on with my life emotionally. Currently I only talk with one sister and was still talking to my mother up until yesterday when I yelled with her. I just wanted to get this out before my appointment with my therapist.

I am trying to take care of myself by eating right, sleeping well, distracting myself, journalling my feelings and writing them out, using my spiritual beliefs to cope and taking my meds and seeing a therapist. I think I’ll be okay I just needed to get this out. Thanks for listening. #ChildhoodSexualAbuse #PTSD #Anxiety #Bipolar1 #DissociativeIdentityDisorder

25 reactions 18 comments
Post

Enmeshed Family Problems

Trigger Warning: childhood sexual abuse

My family and I have a very enmeshed family relationship since I was a child. I’m soon to be 32 and I’m still living at home with them but I am working on getting a job in my field and hopefully going to a group home which is plan a or leaving on my own but still trying to get affordable housing which is plan b. I yelled at my mother yesterday and told her that I knew about her past. I’m currently living with my abuser and though my therapist keeps telling me to leave (she’s telling me to consider a shelter), there’s a part of me that doesn’t want to because of this enmeshment that I’ve been subjected to.

Its too much. It’s too much to be a survivor of childhood sexual abuse by a relative that I live with (I’ve started talking about it in therapy and writing poetry about it) and to be enmeshed with narcissistic parents. I know what I have to do. I know that I have to leave and break off contact with all of them but my heart doesnt agree with this.

They have been there this year for me when my health has been bad and since I’ve been jobless. And they been in my life since the day I was born and they have provided for me financially- that’s it. They are definitely narcissists and have abused me and my siblings our entire lives and the end results of that are showing through addictions and other serious problems. I just wanted to vent. I feel a lot of pain and sorrow and I don’t know how I’m going to move on with my life emotionally. Currently I only talk with one sister and was still talking to my mother up until yesterday when I yelled with her. I just wanted to get this out before my appointment with my therapist.

I am trying to take care of myself by eating right, sleeping well, distracting myself, journalling my feelings and writing them out, using my spiritual beliefs to cope and taking my meds and seeing a therapist. I think I’ll be okay I just needed to get this out. Thanks for listening. #ChildhoodSexualAbuse #PTSD #Anxiety #Bipolar1 #DissociativeIdentityDisorder

25 reactions 18 comments
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Worry

I have a lot of company here at home who came in for the 4th of July holiday. It’s been great, but very overstimulating. Yesterday, my mood and activity level were very high. And last night I could not sleep. With all the activity yesterday I should have been very physically wiped out. I wanted to get out of bed and go do something. But with all our guests I couldn’t, as they were all sleeping. Then it dawned on me, I might be starting another manic attack. I’m jittery this morning and my mind is racing. I can’t afford this now. #Bipolar1 #Manic

3 reactions 1 comment
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Worry

I have a lot of company here at home who came in for the 4th of July holiday. It’s been great, but very overstimulating. Yesterday, my mood and activity level were very high. And last night I could not sleep. With all the activity yesterday I should have been very physically wiped out. I wanted to get out of bed and go do something. But with all our guests I couldn’t, as they were all sleeping. Then it dawned on me, I might be starting another manic attack. I’m jittery this morning and my mind is racing. I can’t afford this now. #Bipolar1 #Manic

3 reactions 1 comment
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Love and happiness #Schizophrenia #MajorDepressiveDisorder

I hope everyone had a great holiday!!! Last week I didn't think I was going to make it...went to the doctor was put on new meds for my bipolar 1 and schizophrenia... I was told it would take a few weeks for both of them to start helping... As of a week and two days I haven't heard any voices or had any major mood changes... The picture below is my husband and I on the 4th of July at a family cookout... I chose this picture because this man literally sticks by me through all my mental issues my overthinking my paranoia everything... I don't give him enough credit most of the time... I am not the easiest person to deal wit but he sticks and stays wit me...❤️❤️❤️

5 reactions 1 comment
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I'm new here!

Hi, my name is Kimrlindsay. I'm here because I have bipolar 1. Always trying to improve and face the challenge of living with Bipolar . Started in my teens, not diagnosed till 36. Am 62 now and still going, but sometimes it’s so exhausting.

#MightyTogether #BipolarDisorder

1 reaction 2 comments
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Beautiful

Today I went to a job interview and was very optimistic the lady who did my interview even said I was the best match for the job and to expect a call later on this afternoon... Well I waited and waited, no call came so I didn't get the job and now I feel like a huge disappointment... My daughter is going off to college in a month my family is depending on me to help and I didn't get the job... I literally have $100 to my name and when that's gone idk what to do if I can't find work... Mentally I'm trying to stay positive,I'm not stressed jest feel like I failed again... #Schizophrenia #Bipolar1 #MajorDepressiveDisorder

4 reactions 2 comments