Bipolar 2 Disorder

When I was unmedicated,
I was a bright light. Who danced in the rain and sang to people at stop lights.
When I was unmedicated,
I was fun. I got dirty and rolled in the dirt with my boys.
When I was unmedicated,
I was “Monica Gellar” clean. My house looked tip top.
Now that I’m medicated,
I’m bleh. I no longer act crazy.
Now that I’m medicated,
I’m distant at times. And my boys are separated.
Now that I’m medicated,
I messy. And stressed. And lazy! And my anxiety seeps through my cracks, like sewer steam.
I know who I am but I don’t.
My kids are teenagers now, and they have their own thoughts. Their own words.
And I just listen. I try to be supportive. But it feels like it’s not enough.
I was once a wild soul. Unapologetically me. The girl who’d burst out in song and dance.
Medication has tamed me.
But I’m still self discovering. Every day. Every minute. Every hour.
Every day.

#BipolarDepression #BipolarII #PTSD #MentalHealth

When I was unmedicated,
I was a bright light. Who danced in the rain and sang to people at stop lights.
When I was unmedicated,
I was fun. I got dirty and rolled in the dirt with my boys.
When I was unmedicated,
I was “Monica Gellar” clean. My house looked tip top.
Now that I’m medicated,
I’m bleh. I no longer act crazy.
Now that I’m medicated,
I’m distant at times. And my boys are separated.
Now that I’m medicated,
I messy. And stressed. And lazy! And my anxiety seeps through my cracks, like sewer steam.
I know who I am but I don’t.
My kids are teenagers now, and they have their own thoughts. Their own words.
And I just listen. I try to be supportive. But it feels like it’s not enough.
I was once a wild soul. Unapologetically me. The girl who’d burst out in song and dance.
Medication has tamed me.
But I’m still self discovering. Every day. Every minute. Every hour.
Every day.

#BipolarDepression #BipolarII #PTSD #MentalHealth

#BipolarIIDisorder a thought occurred to me the other day most of us watch videos on social media with women using lotions potions creams etc they remove their makeup without fail apply cream to their face hands and bodies and were made to feel like we should too the number of times I've said I'm going to try to do that! The reality is having bipolar 2 and GAD that's never going to happen. I'm lucky if I remember to shower some days clean my teeth others some days I just want to lay in my bed unshowered and disheveled I guess what I'm trying to say is there should be less forcing the ideal lifestyle onto those who don't have an ideal lifestyle and more praise for those of us who do manage a small win like showering or even getting up on a morning what's perfect for one isn't always perfect for everyone

#BipolarIIDisorder a thought occurred to me the other day most of us watch videos on social media with women using lotions potions creams etc they remove their makeup without fail apply cream to their face hands and bodies and were made to feel like we should too the number of times I've said I'm going to try to do that! The reality is having bipolar 2 and GAD that's never going to happen. I'm lucky if I remember to shower some days clean my teeth others some days I just want to lay in my bed unshowered and disheveled I guess what I'm trying to say is there should be less forcing the ideal lifestyle onto those who don't have an ideal lifestyle and more praise for those of us who do manage a small win like showering or even getting up on a morning what's perfect for one isn't always perfect for everyone

Thank you, thank you, thank you for adding this group to your myriad of others available! I need this one more than anything! #PTSD #Bipolar2 #copingskills #Depression #Agoraphobia

Thank you, thank you, thank you for adding this group to your myriad of others available! I need this one more than anything! #PTSD #Bipolar2 #copingskills #Depression #Agoraphobia

Don’t tell me to conquer my “demons”. That I have
“emotional baggage”. That I need to clean up my life, repent, repair my relationships and restore my place in society. That I need to change my perspective from “half empty to half full”. Just think positive, smile, lighten up, etc. All of this is dripping with misogynistic beliefs and patriarchal values. No, I won’t put a fucking smile on my face for anyone. I don’t owe anyone pretty, or perfection. I don’t have to be anything other than what I am or feel. I am not ashamed of my mental illnesses or disabilities! I am not trying to rid myself of anything. I embrace all of me. All of my humanity, all my emotions all my feelings, all my wounds, and scars. Don’t ever, ever tell me, my trauma is “darkness”, “evil” or “demons”. That is emotional abuse and is part of the problem that caused most of us to get sick in the first place. Morality causes almost all suffering in society. Not the lack of it, but the strict enforcement of it that leads to all kinds of condemnations, violations of rights and lack of emotional intelligence and empathy in the world. I support Radical Self Acceptance!

#Bipolar2
#Bipolar1
#MajorDepressiveDisorder
#Depression
#SubstanceUseDisorders
#PTSD
#CPTSD

Don’t tell me to conquer my “demons”. That I have
“emotional baggage”. That I need to clean up my life, repent, repair my relationships and restore my place in society. That I need to change my perspective from “half empty to half full”. Just think positive, smile, lighten up, etc. All of this is dripping with misogynistic beliefs and patriarchal values. No, I won’t put a fucking smile on my face for anyone. I don’t owe anyone pretty, or perfection. I don’t have to be anything other than what I am or feel. I am not ashamed of my mental illnesses or disabilities! I am not trying to rid myself of anything. I embrace all of me. All of my humanity, all my emotions all my feelings, all my wounds, and scars. Don’t ever, ever tell me, my trauma is “darkness”, “evil” or “demons”. That is emotional abuse and is part of the problem that caused most of us to get sick in the first place. Morality causes almost all suffering in society. Not the lack of it, but the strict enforcement of it that leads to all kinds of condemnations, violations of rights and lack of emotional intelligence and empathy in the world. I support Radical Self Acceptance!

#Bipolar2
#Bipolar1
#MajorDepressiveDisorder
#Depression
#SubstanceUseDisorders
#PTSD
#CPTSD