Bipolar 2 Disorder

I wanted to share a bit about what I’ve been dealing with the past couple weeks because it’s been a lot, and I think some of you might understand in a way others around me can’t.

Since my bipolar diagnosis, which is still pretty new, I’ve been riding what feels like a storm of emotions. Some days I’m on edge, other days I feel completely shut down. There’s this quiet, heavy kind of depression that’s been following me around. It’s not loud or dramatic, just draining. Like I’m underwater, doing the bare minimum to function while everything inside feels like it’s unraveling.

I also recently had a medication increase, and while I think it’s helping in some ways, I’ve noticed a kind of emotional dulling. It’s like the volume’s been turned down too far, even on the feelings I used to rely on to ground me. I’m still adjusting and trying not to overanalyze every change, but it’s hard not to wonder if this version of me is still me.

What’s been hardest is the loneliness. Not physical loneliness, but emotional. Feeling like I can’t be fully honest about how much I’m struggling without worrying I’ll overwhelm someone or be misunderstood.

I am so grateful to have found this place. Even knowing others out there have walked this same path gives me a little more hope. If anyone has been through something similar, especially with new meds or right after getting diagnosed, I’d really appreciate hearing how you got through it.

I wanted to share a bit about what I’ve been dealing with the past couple weeks because it’s been a lot, and I think some of you might understand in a way others around me can’t.

Since my bipolar diagnosis, which is still pretty new, I’ve been riding what feels like a storm of emotions. Some days I’m on edge, other days I feel completely shut down. There’s this quiet, heavy kind of depression that’s been following me around. It’s not loud or dramatic, just draining. Like I’m underwater, doing the bare minimum to function while everything inside feels like it’s unraveling.

I also recently had a medication increase, and while I think it’s helping in some ways, I’ve noticed a kind of emotional dulling. It’s like the volume’s been turned down too far, even on the feelings I used to rely on to ground me. I’m still adjusting and trying not to overanalyze every change, but it’s hard not to wonder if this version of me is still me.

What’s been hardest is the loneliness. Not physical loneliness, but emotional. Feeling like I can’t be fully honest about how much I’m struggling without worrying I’ll overwhelm someone or be misunderstood.

I am so grateful to have found this place. Even knowing others out there have walked this same path gives me a little more hope. If anyone has been through something similar, especially with new meds or right after getting diagnosed, I’d really appreciate hearing how you got through it.

Something to bring a smile to your face 🤗 wishing you all a fabulous weekend wherever you are and whatever you’re doing 👌

#MightyTogether

For me this has actually been a lifelong lesson. Amazing how 8 words of advice have been so hard for me to put into practice at times. Sadly in my life sometimes its taken for my body (and/or mind) to scream so loud that its been deafening enough for me to pay attention, yet I have found that even this can ebb & flow.

These days I'm pretty proud of how I’ve been taking care of myself. Its been basically 3+ years of very serious physical and mental struggles and I've learned that in the big picture no one else can take care of me and only I can deeply feel it when I don't.So I guess you could say I’ve been falling in love with myself!

*I've been eating much better (lots fruits, veggies & nuts especially...yet I love my milk and chocolate!)

*I’m exercising &/or doing home PT religiously. My spinal injuries have been part of that screaming voice quite a bit although its getting quieter, and as I told my first PT “I’m only going to get out of this what I put into it!” I've been at the gym regularly which is so empowering (plus its a really social place with great staff & members and I find it soooo mentally uplifting when I leave…knowing I'm taking care of myself)

*I actually was counting ounces of water I drank for a long while however now I'm doing great with that and carry bottles everywhere

*My holistic practice dropped off...then I found Box Breathing which I did before bed for awhile and I'm trying to get back to that, however I’ve found just stopping to breath and ground even for short moments throughout the day really makes a difference

*My spiritual practice is earth based and simple and so my church is nature and I pray to Great Spirit…my level of gratitude and reverence are stronger than ever!

*Now sleep...I will have to plead the fifth if I want to make other people happy about when I sleep, when I turns screens off, how much sleep I get etc…my stretch now is getting ENOUGH sleep and I'm exploring what my body can best function off with less meds. I've been very surprised how much less, yet in doing so I have maxxed myself out a lot recently! (its 6:00 am now, the birds are chirping as my music is lower. As a musician and deejay in college I never stopped being nocturnal. When I worked at the beach I always saw sunrises!!!... Then I went to sleep😉

Bottom line…

Life is a beautiful blessing, its a glorious day today, I got to see Mom & family for four days and that was good for my soul….and I'm going to keep smiling

Listen to your favorite music for a bit today
Go outside and wiggle your bare feet in the dirt
Eat a scrumptious piece of fruit or rich chocolate
HUG A FRIEND OR LOVED ONE…  or many…all day long!
(or a tree if you get out there and don't want to take your shoes off!

#MentalHealth #BipolarDisorder #BipolarDepression #Bipolar1 #Bipolar2 #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #Disability #Selfcare #COVID19 #AddictionRecovery #Addiction #Arthritis #Headache #Migraine #Anxiety #Eczema #InsideTheMighty #Trauma #ADHD #Cancer #RareDisease #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #BrainInjury #BackPain