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    Grateful to be able to cross off my bucket list

    I thought I would just share some pictures, I am so grateful for all of the people, animals and things that I have in my life! I have been able to cross off so many things on my bucket list. I have been to the science center, the Philharmonic, the opera… baked/cooked yummy food, spent time with my people. On Sunday I have my celebration of love with my amazing partner. My life may be cut too short, but it is full of so much joy that I feel like I have lived a lifetime already.

    #AddisonsDisease #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #PTSD #FunctionalNeurologicalDisorder #Migraine #Asthma
    #CeliacDisease #MitochondrialDisease #MastCellActivationDisorder #Trauma #raynauds #MentalHealth #Depression
    #Anxiety #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #Disability #DistractMe #dying


    Flare up

    Hi all, Hope you had a good Thanksgiving. Today as I was preparing food to take to my neighbors, I started a huge CIDP flare, as well as asthma flare. I had my latest Covid vaccine a few weeks ago, and this has happened within a few weeks after the 3 boosters. It gets me down that I'M GETTING SICK FROM SOMETHING THAT IS SUPPOSED TO HELP ME.! I'll get through it, but it gets me down now to add prednisone, on top of being on Cellcept, IVIG every 10 days, and 15 other meds.

    Thanks for the vent. I know you all understand the frustration. Best wishes to all of you and any caregivers you have as we go into the holiday season. Take care!


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    I can't remember if I shared this but it is something I got for myself to keep by my bed and remind myself that I should aim to be a 🌻 sunflower

    It says I want to be a sunflower so that even on the darkest days I will stand tall and find the sunshine. Best motto ever!

    #AmplifiedMusculoskeletalPainSyndrome #Arthritis #Asthma #Anxiety #ChronicFatigueSyndrome #CheckInWithMe #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #Depression #Disability #DistractMe #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #Endometriosis #Fibromyalgia #GastroesophagealRefluxDisease #HypothyroidismUnderactiveThyroidDisease #Insomnia #Lupus #Lymphedema #MightyTogether #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #MentalHealth #MemoryLoss #Psoriasis #bedbound #RareDisease #SuicidalThoughts

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    The world

    The world convinces you that once you have health issues your lesser or that you won't be happy but that is absolutely incorrect. We are so much stronger because of what we have to overcome now and because of the creative thinking we have to use to reach something across the room without walking very much or having to connect with your caretaker while still being true to yourself.

    And we can be happy. That obviously takes a lot more work than normal people and I mean a lot lot more work than normal people but it is possible. It may not be constant but it can come in spurts and that is okay. Searching for that Joy with everything you have in you is a much better way to live.

    #AmplifiedMusculoskeletalPainSyndrome #Arthritis #Asthma #Anxiety #ChronicFatigueSyndrome #CheckInWithMe #ChronicPain #ComplexRegionalPainSyndrome #ChronicIllness #Depression #Disability #DistractMe #bedbound #CheerMeOn #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #Endometriosis #Fibromyalgia #GastroesophagealRefluxDisease #HypothyroidismUnderactiveThyroidDisease #Insomnia #Lupus #Lymphedema #MightyTogether #MentalHealth #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #RareDisease #SuicidalThoughts #Psoriasis #Grief

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    DNA test that yells me genetic predisposition to health issues!!

    A few years ago my sister's husband gave her tellmeGen DNA test as a Christmas gift. It ended up telling her all of the predisposition she has to as well as where her ancestors came from (she's adopted). My neurological Doctor who didn't know what to do with me said I should have a DNA test because he does not believe I have health issues and he doesn't believe fibromyalgia and EDS can exist in one person.

    Honestly the level of how stupid the doctors here are is just reaching new levels I've never been so miserable and I've never had five doctors with four more on the way and yet I've never been as bad as I am now.

    What's the point of doctors if they just cause more problems and more stress?? Anyways so I'm getting this test on the DL because I don't want the doctors using it against me without me knowing what it might actually say. This test tells me way more than their test would tell me and it costs less too. I
    Am hoping that i can show it to the doctors and twach them some lessons that they desperately need!

    If you're interested it's on tell me as in genetics. The pkg for a single person was $111. If you're wondering.

    Wish me luck! I can't wait to show you guys the results! And I can't wait to learn them myself 😅

    #AmplifiedMusculoskeletalPainSyndrome #Arthritis #Asthma #Anxiety #ChronicFatigueSyndrome #CheckInWithMe #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #Depression #Disability #DistractMe #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #Endometriosis #Fibromyalgia #GastroesophagealRefluxDisease #HypothyroidismUnderactiveThyroidDisease #Insomnia #Lupus #Lymphedema #MightyTogether #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #RareDisease #SuicidalThoughts #bedbound #MentalHealth #ComplexRegionalPainSyndrome #MemoryLoss #Psoriasis

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    Why I know I am Dying

    People have been asking exactly what is going on medically and how I know I am dying… so here goes a bit of an explanation. I am extremely complex, as such no one can say exactly what I will die of or when. Unfortunately, it’s not like cancer where there are many cases that can be drawn from to predict outcomes more easily. I don’t list all my medical conditions, hence the …, but if you want to know more I am an open book.

    Factor 1, endocrine: most of my endocrine system is shut down; I produce few hormones. I don’t make the key ones like Cortisol, testosterone, ACTH, estrogen, etc., this means my body cannot regulate itself. (When an average person experiences physical or emotional stress their body produces more cortisol, mine cannot do this and if cortisol is not produced the body goes in to shut down and eventually coma and death). This puts me at high risk for dying from adrenal crisis. This is most likely what I will pass from.

    Factor 2, genetic: I also have genetic conditions (mitochondrial, Ehler’s Danlos, Carnatine deficiency…). Your mitochondria are the building blocks, so I have bad building blocks to start with. Ehler’s Danlos effects your connective tissue, so basically I am built with bad glue that no longer holds me together and carnitine is your energy, so my body is losing fuel.

    Factor 3: autoimmune conditions (Premature ovarian insufficiency, Raynauds, celiac…). My premature ovarian insufficiency caused my endocrine system to start shutting down and conditions like Raynaud’s and Celiac disease put extra stress on my body causing other conditions to worsen.

    Factor 4: medications; I take over 100 mg of steroids a day and those have caused my liver to stop functioning properly; I have steroid induced myopathy (my muscles are wasting away), they caused my Ehlers Danlos to speed up, which has caused my tendons/joints to break down faster, they have also caused bone issues so I fracture very easily. There are also several other side effects from other medication that I have taken, such as gastrointestinal issues that put a great deal of stress on my body.

    Factor 5: other medical conditions. My bleeding disorder makes it so I bruise/bleed very easily and puts me at risk for internal bleeding. Add to that my Asthma, Mast Cell Activation Disorder (masts cell allergic reactions daily, risk of anaphylaxis…), osteoarthritis (increased pain levels and decreased physical function) and postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome (This is a condition that impacts my entire body; from digestion, to breathing, to heart rate, to temperature regulation; it is a dysregulation of the entire orthostatic system).

    My body is a spicy disaster. I have been holding myself together through sheer willpower and stubbornness basically. Lol. Those of you that know me, know that for the past almost 5 years, since my diagnosis I have been pushing very hard to find a unifying diagnosis, basically this is a diagnosis that can tie everything together. As far as we can tell, this doesn’t exist. I was just dealt a shitty hand of multiple medical issues that don’t play nicely together. I have managed my conditions by being my own advocate, doing extensive research and setting my life up to be as optimal as possible. Using exercise, diet and any other tool I could to find the optimal functioning for my body. Unfortunately, my body just reached a point where no matter how much medication, good food, daily exercise and positive attitude I have it is just tired and breaking down. Some people have asked how I know I am dying if doctors can’t predict an exact cause or date. First, I must say that gaslighting, questioning what someone knows about their own body and medical conditions is not cool, even when it comes from a place of care and concern. Second, I am a very well educated person who understands medical research very well and uses empirical evidence like scans, bloodwork, X-rays, the visual signs such as twisted bones/bruising, etc. to make decisions and draw conclusions. I listen to my medical professionals and care team. I also draw off of those people in my personal support team and their observations (some of whom have medical training). I do not say I am dying lightly and it is not “giving up”, it is knowing I am at the end and instead of spending that time fighting the inevitable I choose to spend my time finding joy and peace. Life is always more good than bad and I am going to find my bliss to the very end! Much love.


    #AddisonsDisease #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #EhlersDanlosSyndrome
    #PTSD #FunctionalNeurologicalDisorder #Migraine
    #Asthma #CeliacDisease #MitochondrialDisease #MastCellActivationDisorder #Trauma
    #RaynaudsPhenomenon #Depression #Anxiety #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #Disability #DistractMe #dying

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    The realities of Dying

    I post a lot about the positives and those are very important, but I think it is also valuable for me to share some of the struggles as well, as that is a part of this journey. I have carefully cut out all supplements and 3 prescription medications, working towards a medication re-set. These pictures show how my body is breaking down; my skin tears and my vessels in my eyes burst, I just have to brush my skin against something for bruising/petechiae or cuts to occur and pain levels are very high. I have doubled my Tylenol arthritis. I am exhausted all the time. My heart and lungs are struggling and I have been going into shock if I try to do too much physically. That said, I am so grateful for all the people, pets and tools I have to make this easier. I am going to be in pain regardless of what I am doing, or where I am, and life is still overwhelmingly more good than bad, so I am enjoying all of the adventures that I am going on, big and small. They may not look the same as they would five years ago, or even five weeks ago, but they are amazing and life is still so good.

    #AddisonsDisease #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #EhlersDanlosSyndrome
    #PTSD #FunctionalNeurologicalDisorder #Migraine
    #CeliacDisease #MitochondrialDisease #MastCellActivationDisorder #Trauma
    #raynauds #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #Disability #dying #RareDisease
    #Chronicpainwarrior #FunctionalNeurologicalDisorder #grateful