Complex Post-traumatic Stress Disorder

I went to the ER last Friday. I fainted twice Thursday night, probably hit my head on the heater and it was also vinyl hardwood. Roommate said the fridge was pulled out, I was trying to get a drink. When I sat up, the trash can was pushed back a couple feet. The ER did a CT scan, it was clean. All tests were. I got Tylenol and an Ativan because I was scared with the CT scan and hospitals are extremely triggering. They did prescribe anything. They did not look at that back of my head even though it hurt like hell. They didn't even check my eyes. The headache only let up yesterday. I know this may be POTS or something. They want me to wear a heart monitor as well.
Monday, the doctors appointment was telehealth and I don't drive and the local disability bus is having more delays and with how sick I've been it's impossible. She refused to listen tho. She refused to listen about what wasn't working. She told me to go back to the ED. I said something similar to this: I seriously was debating ending my life due to pain and the treatment I've been receiving. Got cut off here and was told: are you threatening suicide? I will call the cops.
I said no. I'm safe. I have a lot of things going on. She also didn't mention any of the ED notes or anything I told the nurse, the appointment was about 5min.
My psychiatrists medical assistant was confused as to how that was a threat. I also fired my counselor yesterday due to him on Monday flat out ignoring a trigger then saying he only does 12 sessions but gave me more. Sunday had stuff happen too but I don't want to get into it.
It's been trainwreck after trainwreck going on two weeks now. Mom, dad and brother also have covid. I don't live with them or am near them.
#SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts #MajorDepression #ChronicAnxiety #CPTSD #Autism #ChronicPain #help #PanicDisorder #MedicalTrauma

I went to the ER last Friday. I fainted twice Thursday night, probably hit my head on the heater and it was also vinyl hardwood. Roommate said the fridge was pulled out, I was trying to get a drink. When I sat up, the trash can was pushed back a couple feet. The ER did a CT scan, it was clean. All tests were. I got Tylenol and an Ativan because I was scared with the CT scan and hospitals are extremely triggering. They did prescribe anything. They did not look at that back of my head even though it hurt like hell. They didn't even check my eyes. The headache only let up yesterday. I know this may be POTS or something. They want me to wear a heart monitor as well.
Monday, the doctors appointment was telehealth and I don't drive and the local disability bus is having more delays and with how sick I've been it's impossible. She refused to listen tho. She refused to listen about what wasn't working. She told me to go back to the ED. I said something similar to this: I seriously was debating ending my life due to pain and the treatment I've been receiving. Got cut off here and was told: are you threatening suicide? I will call the cops.
I said no. I'm safe. I have a lot of things going on. She also didn't mention any of the ED notes or anything I told the nurse, the appointment was about 5min.
My psychiatrists medical assistant was confused as to how that was a threat. I also fired my counselor yesterday due to him on Monday flat out ignoring a trigger then saying he only does 12 sessions but gave me more. Sunday had stuff happen too but I don't want to get into it.
It's been trainwreck after trainwreck going on two weeks now. Mom, dad and brother also have covid. I don't live with them or am near them.
#SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts #MajorDepression #ChronicAnxiety #CPTSD #Autism #ChronicPain #help #PanicDisorder #MedicalTrauma

My therapist went on holiday for two weeks. Now she's back I feel like quitting therapy. There have been a few times I've felt worse afterwards as we talked about heavy issues. I think we could do with setting some goals in the present.
I want to go back I just feel really awful this week from medication side effects and pms which makes me shut people out. #PMS #CPTSD #Depression

My therapist went on holiday for two weeks. Now she's back I feel like quitting therapy. There have been a few times I've felt worse afterwards as we talked about heavy issues. I think we could do with setting some goals in the present.
I want to go back I just feel really awful this week from medication side effects and pms which makes me shut people out. #PMS #CPTSD #Depression

Hi-
I tried posting last night
I am still having a hard time understanding what happened but I am not doing well. I don’t feel real. There has been so much that has happened the last couple of years that people truly don’t believe me when I try to get help. I have had to refer them to my therapist to give them the “she isn’t making this up” affirmation in order to establish the belief in my story.
She can’t be my therapist anymore. She switched jobs recently and she doesn’t take the insurance I just switched to so I could finally get my migraine medication covered after over a year of not having it
It’s been years. No one has believed me.
Now people see all of the problems and obstacles and deny me help and blame it on me. I just started feeling safe advocating for myself again but I keep experiencing more trauma.
It hasn’t stopped
It sounds like an exaggeration. It’s not.
I don’t want to be told I will find someone else who believes me. I know that is the case. But what am I going to have to go through to get that person? My rights have already been very boldly disregarded by another agency and I am currently trying to get help/awareness for that. I already have tried to ask for help/access services for seven years. It has caused me unbelievable trauma to just try to access help. I haven’t been able to make progress because I have spent years trying to get people to just let me talk without interrupting me to redefine my reality. Or to tell me how to solve a problem they haven’t fully heard.
I have never felt so incredibly alone. I have never truly been this alone
It doesn’t feel like it can be real
#WritingThroughIt #CheckInWithMe #ADHD #ChronicMigraines #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #CPTSD #Agoraphobia #PanicAttacks #Anxiety

Hi-
I tried posting last night
I am still having a hard time understanding what happened but I am not doing well. I don’t feel real. There has been so much that has happened the last couple of years that people truly don’t believe me when I try to get help. I have had to refer them to my therapist to give them the “she isn’t making this up” affirmation in order to establish the belief in my story.
She can’t be my therapist anymore. She switched jobs recently and she doesn’t take the insurance I just switched to so I could finally get my migraine medication covered after over a year of not having it
It’s been years. No one has believed me.
Now people see all of the problems and obstacles and deny me help and blame it on me. I just started feeling safe advocating for myself again but I keep experiencing more trauma.
It hasn’t stopped
It sounds like an exaggeration. It’s not.
I don’t want to be told I will find someone else who believes me. I know that is the case. But what am I going to have to go through to get that person? My rights have already been very boldly disregarded by another agency and I am currently trying to get help/awareness for that. I already have tried to ask for help/access services for seven years. It has caused me unbelievable trauma to just try to access help. I haven’t been able to make progress because I have spent years trying to get people to just let me talk without interrupting me to redefine my reality. Or to tell me how to solve a problem they haven’t fully heard.
I have never felt so incredibly alone. I have never truly been this alone
It doesn’t feel like it can be real
#WritingThroughIt #CheckInWithMe #ADHD #ChronicMigraines #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #CPTSD #Agoraphobia #PanicAttacks #Anxiety