corebeliefs

One of my core beliefs that is not serving me is that I need external pressure to get things done. If there is no external pressure, it is very difficult to get things done. This includes self care, basic errands, etc. As soon as someone else is involved (like meeting up with a friend), or there is some pending deadline (I ran out of toothpaste so now I HAVE to go to the store) I am able to find the will to do it. Granted, I still need to push myself, but it is set in my mind as "this must be done".

When it is something like taking walks every day for my health or meditating, etc. I have no willpower to do any of it. I have tried using rewards, but since I've been depressed for over 10 years I know I can get the reward without actually doing the task as I am the only one holding myself to it. I've tried having friends hold the reward, but I am so ashamed at not having done the task, that I just end up lying to my friend and then feel guilty for getting the reward.

The only thing that kind of helps is the question "Will this help me feel better tomorrow?". But overall if I set a goal that is just for me, chances are greater that I won't do it.

What tactics do you have to build trust in yourselves?

#Depression #Anxiety #ADHD #corebeliefs

#corebeliefs #SocialAnxiety

I'm lost
No accountability to get to the right path
I've lost
Losing battles all week all day

I'm just so stuck and still and tired
I heard someone ask, "What's the point?"
And put a pin on shared hopelessness
I can empathize
I can cry
I can't get out of my jammies
I can text, but
I can't wait for your replies

They thought I was enough
I can't see it for myself
I still need help

#Depression #Anxiety #IOP #discharged #advocate #CBT #corebeliefs #hopeless

#MentalHealth #corebeliefs #Innercritic #Healthyself

Have you had worthwhile periods of your life? Have you experienced prolonged joy, ongoing calm, and healthy functioning?

Nearly 20 years of battling depression, anxiety, chronic pain, and generally feeling like both a burden and a poison in a few failed relationships, I AM EXHAUSTED. I am so overwhelmed. I am so fearful that this is all I will ever know in life. All signs point to continued suffering. Why am I tolerating this if it won't ever stop? #corebeliefs #suicidal #keepgoing #hopeless

(I'm afraid that posting my thoughts would plant toxic seeds in reader's minds. Mighty we might be, but also great at composting, collecting all of the rot and waste and stench, creating dark messes fertile for the vicious flower.) #CheckInWithMe #SuicidalIdeation #Depression #Anxiety #discontinuationsyndrome #MentalIllness #afraid #hopeless #distortedthinking #corebeliefs #CBT #shaking