DeathAnxiety

Hello my friends. Yes... It is me again.

Today i had quit my job that I was hired at about a week ago. I barely could make it through my day yesterday evening. It was quite awful because of the fact that I had stayed late, and did not get to go to sleep until closer to midnight. I struggled because I had to take #Medicine for my #Insomnia . I know how much I have been struggling for years with this disorder. The job started out kind of fun, but was lacking proper training. I realized that most employees were new, and kind of just thrown into the mix of store operations. One of the managers had a #personality clash with me. She came off very harsh, and snippy which made me so #nervous . I was #Crying about it, and could not seem to get myself out of that #worry .

I read somewhere that those who have #BipolarDisorder also have a connection with #Insomnia . Some may have reason to believe that it has to deal with a wandering mind due to a hypomanic episode. Yet, I think they fail to understand that it is not always the reason why.

I have a serious case of #DeathAnxiety that does not seem to go away. It has gotten better since my father had passed away, as I feel a little more comfortable with the facts that this happens to us all. However, I am still struggling. Each day that passes is another day completed of my life and I do not know when God will call me home. There is this weird feeling that I get in my chest that creates this #Weird thought process. I feel this hallowed out sensation in my chest, and I also experience a feeling like I need to whine or cry or yell "I do not want to die." Sometimes I call out for my #Dad who is no longer with me. Therefore, I noiced I have reached out to my #mom a whole lot. I #cherish the time that I have to live.

If you have made it this far through this message, I thank you.
I really would love a #reply .

At night, I get such horrible anxiety. I think most of us in this forum do have this same problem. I wondered if it was because during the day, we are so focused on things going on around us, and then once the day is over... the mind is still running.

Sometimes we come to a point or realization that the world is full of a mix of pleasure and pain. Yet, we mostly only hear about the painful things and not so much about the pleasurable things. We see more news about people dying, than we do about people being born.

#DeathAnxiety is not something that will go away. Even with therapy, the body still has these issues at night with the mind battle. I have to focus on the bed, the sheets, the blankets. #Mindfulness

It is very difficult for me to shut myself down, especially being a person who has #BipolarDepression and #Anxiety disorder.

I have worked hard to get to where I am right now in life, but thinking about my Dad's health right now (new diagnosis of Liver cancer) has not been letting me have a peace of mind.

As a Christian, I pray. I have to empty my mind from it's thoughts and allow myself just to melt into the bed. However, it is almost like having a full time job to try to go to sleep. I have this whole routine just to try to make myself in the proper place to sleep with ease.

Drinking tea, a hot bath, lavender spray and lotion, all these things help but it does not always make things perfect. Sometimes over the counter medicines help on the nights where it is really bad. #Unisom Hangovers are horrible. I do not always like taking over the counter medicines, but sometimes it helps.

I think you just have to write your journal, talk with a friend, watch a boring movie, and focus on something positive.. but then sometimes the waterworks happen. It is all about having a #balance .

I hope that if you made it this far in this message, that I have made it a little easier for you to sleep. A big hug from me to you.

So, anxiety caused by fear of death is a thing. AWESOME! Because who wouldn't want to be told they're a scaredy cat that's also probably depressed, with panic disorder, AT LEAST? 🙋‍♀️Also probably working on agoraphobia, avoidance of social situations, and just earned yourself a helluva lot of homework ... let's learn all the therapies: acceptance therapy, CBT, mindfulness anyone?
Here's a link for people dealing with yet another something complicated. It gives some direction on how to approach this type of anxiety and references a few books as well. #moreproblemsthanamath55prof #anxietysucks
www.psychology.org.au/for-members/publications/inpsych/2018/...

I’m on the verge of a panic attack. 24/7 hotline is taking too long to connect.