Agoraphobia

“On this sacred path of Radical Acceptance, rather than striving for perfection, we discover how to love ourselves into wholeness.”
- Tara Brach

“There is something Wonderfully Bold And Liberating
About Saying Yes To Our Entire Imperfect And Messy Life.”
- Tara Brach

The 9 Foundational Attitudes of Mindfulness also helps us to understand the significance of Full/Radical Acceptance.

First, from my own words and my own horrible things I just had to finally fully Accept: first you must grieve whatever kind of loss it is and then you must let it go (letting go/letting be - the doorway to freedom will be another post of mine here in this group) — but first, I had to grieve that surprise! I will be managing my Chronic major depressive disorder for the rest of my life, biggest surprise for my husband and I firstly was that I did not win the lottery with the type of depression that occurs once, we had no idea there was such a thing as Chronic, Recurring Major Depressive Disorder! And I had to grieve that this took my career away since my onset of this beast of an illness was at 34 years old. We had to grieve that we would struggle on 1 income because I could not work any job well enough anymore which we finally had to accept by the time I was in my early 40’s. I had to grieve that I was too sick and disabled and with our 1 income that I wouldn’t become a Mom (except to kitties). I had to grieve that this left me isolated from making new friends and I had to grieve the “friends” that deserted me when I was too sick and not myself. I had to grieve that I had never had healthy parenting from either of my parents and that I had to save myself and cut off the extremely toxic relationships with both of my parents with their narcissism and their emotional abuse to me. I had to grieve the devastating trauma that onset this horrendous illness that made me very suicidal back then and more times-even one time of that is too many times- I am sure many of us know what I mean. I also had to grieve more than once when my MDD took away my sense of self- I had to keep relearning who I am, what I like & dislike, remembering with surprise that I am actually funny and full of life and joy and positivity inherently. But, Thankfully I finally learned from my Mindfulness teachers and other experts that were better than my therapists ever were, that without learning (Radical )Acceptance and all of the integrated 9 attitudes of Mindfulness and so much more (I read psychology in my free time to learn to conquer my illness every single day) and this was my only way to attain the most beautiful inner peace, and to manifest my best life after all plus transforming into my best, most authentic self.

Acceptance- The attitude of actively recognizing that things are the way they are, even if they aren’t the way we want them to be.

Accepting Reality- mindfulness and awareness help you to *Come To Terms* with and accept things in life that are less than wonderful.

Acknowledging the present reality as it is (you don’t have to like it, it’s just how your body is feeling right now - it will not be completely just like this always/not for the rest of your life); Acceptance does not mean approval or compliance in every situation. As a mindfulness principle, acceptance means seeing the present moment as it truly is, taking it in, and living with that knowledge. You can accept a fact and decide to change it, if that seems like the appropriate choice to you. ***This principle is not about keeping things the same***, but ***it is about letting go of denial or ignorance and accepting or acknowledging what is happening in the moment.***

Accepting what is, even if that is challenging. When you know what you are dealing with, you can discover what can be mindfully changed and what has to remain as it is.

With MBCT (Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy) you can prepare yourself and find ways to cope with the bad in a way that allows you to move on and even to eventually see some of the bad as a surprisingly good thing.

There is also Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT; Hayes et al. 1999)

The Six Core Processes of ACT”).
To put it in less clinical terms and make it a bit easier to understand, Dr. Russell Harris (2011) has defined ACT as “a mindfulness-based behavioral therapy that challenges the ground rules of most Western psychology” with the goal of helping patients create a rich and meaningful life and develop mindfulness skills, even with the existence of pain and suffering.

Six core processes of ACT to develop psychological flexibility are:
Acceptance,
Cognitive Defusion,
Being Present,
Self as context,
Values,
Committed Action

Acceptance is an alternative to the instinct to avoid negative, or potentially negative, experiences. It is the active choice to be aware of and allow these types of experiences without trying to avoid or change them.

Cognitive Defusion refers to the defusion techniques that are intended to change how an individual reacts to or interacts with their thoughts and feelings rather than the nature of these thoughts and feelings. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy is not intended to limit our exposure to negative experiences, but to face them and come out the other side with a decreased fixation on these experiences.

Being Present is another familiar concept for practitioners of mindfulness-based therapy. It can be understood as the practice of being aware of the present moment while declining to attach judgment to the experience. In other words, being present involves actively experiencing what is happening without trying to predict, change, or make value judgments about the experience.

Self as Context is a simple idea that an individual is not his or her experiences, thoughts, or emotions. Instead of being one’s experiences, the “self as context” process rests on the idea that there is a self outside of the current experience.
In other words, we are not what happens to us. We are the ones experiencing what happens to us.

Values in this context are defined as the qualities that we choose to work towards in any given moment.
We all hold values, consciously or unconsciously, that direct our steps.
In ACT, we apply processes and techniques that help us live our lives according to the values that we hold dear.

#MentalHealth #Mindfulness #MajorDepressiveDisorder #ChronicIllness #Disability #ChronicFatigue #ChronicPain #ChronicFatigueSyndrome #Anxiety #Depression #BipolarDepression #MoodDisorders #PTSD #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #AnorexiaNervosa #EatingDisorders #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Addiction #ADHD #Grief #Loneliness #Fibromyalgia #Headache #Migraine #BipolarDisorder #RareDisease #Cancers #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #Selfcare #Selfharm #SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts #SuicideAttemptSurvivors #Trauma #CheckInWithMe #IfYouFeelHopeless #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #Caregiving #SocialAnxiety #Agoraphobia #MightyTogether

Since this is a Practice, and in a practice, we must build upon our knowledge—here, I am going to expand upon my 1st post about the Beginner’s Mind, the first post of this new group - click to join and not miss the interconnected 9 attitudes of the wellbeing mindset of Mindfulness.

There is an emphasis on the importance of cultivating this mindset in all aspects of life.

Has anyone practiced this Beginner’s Mind or think that you will give it a try?
Any thoughts about this particular part of the whole?

Let’s break it down again:

Holding onto a particular belief limits the mind.
We accumulate a lot of conditioning along the way.
We tend to create a world where our opinions and beliefs are fixed.
As soon as we are attached to that one side, we shut off the other side-we don’t see it or hear it.

Only when we are willing to show up in each moment with a fresh, curious mind, willing to listen, knowing that possibly everything we believed and thought -that perhaps that’s not true. And, if we can maintain that freshness of mind, called a beginner’s mind—

then we can create a space where the mind can absorb, can respect the way other people think— take in new perspectives, and all of a sudden, we start to see not only a transformation in our mind, but a greater sense of calm, of clarity, and also a positive change in our relationships.

By letting go of preconceived ideas, expectations, and attachments, we can fully engage with each moment, experiencing life as it truly is, rather than through the filter of our thoughts and beliefs.

Key concepts:

Openness to possibilities:
The mind of the beginner is empty, free of the habits of the expert, ready to accept, to doubt, and open to all the possibilities.

No attachment to outcomes:
By approaching situations with a beginner's mind, one is less likely to be fixated on achieving a specific result, allowing for greater flexibility and adaptability.

And, the extremely critical skill of learning How to focus on the present moment:
This mindset encourages a deep awareness of the current experience, without getting caught up in past regrets or future anxieties; which we all know the negative consequences this has on our mental health.

We have to help ourselves to not be stuck dwelling on either the "what could have been" or the "what might happen", so that we can instead stay living in and fully enjoying the actual present moment. This is all a part of our role in managing our depression and anxiety and not letting these win and take from us and our potential and our lives that we can have.

It’s important to remember that all of this is not an achievement to be attained but rather a continuous process of self-discovery and self-transformation.

#MentalHealth #ChronicIllness #Mindfulness #MajorDepressiveDisorder #BipolarDisorder #BipolarDepression #MoodDisorders #Depression #Anxiety #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #Cancers #ChronicFatigue #AnorexiaNervosa #Selfcare #Addiction #Fibromyalgia #ChronicPain #Selfharm #Grief #SuicideAttemptSurvivors #SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts #Suicide #Trauma #Agoraphobia #ADHD #SocialAnxiety #SocialAnxietyDisorder #PTSDSupportAndRecovery #PTSD #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #Headache #Migraine #ChronicFatigueSyndrome #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Disability #IfYouFeelHopeless #EatingDisorders #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #MightyTogether #Caregiving #CheckInWithMe #DistractMe

It was 5 AM, and I hadn’t slept all night. Until 2 AM, I was scrolling through reels on my phone, but after that, I didn’t even feel like using it anymore. This was because the day before, October 25th, I had slept through most of the day.

This has now become a habit—sleeping during the day and staying awake at night. Staying up all night does bother me sometimes, but I don’t know what to do about it. I avoid taking medication because I fear I’ll get addicted to it.

I have a condition called schizophrenia, which is a complex mental illness. It involves delusions and hallucinations. I hear voices—a problem that began three years ago when we were living in Gwalior.

It was Diwali, and there was a heated argument between my father and uncle. After the lockdown, my uncle started a grocery business similar to ours, likely instigated by a neighbor. Ever since then, he tried to harm our business by badmouthing us to customers and spreading false rumors. While I was managing the shop, he would make comments aimed at undermining my confidence, and my aunt supported him.

Our family tensions escalated after my grandfather passed away, leading to a physical wall being built in our house, splitting it into two halves. On that Diwali afternoon, I heard my uncle loudly badmouthing our shop to a customer. My father initially confronted him, but the argument intensified, and I had to step in. I’m usually an introvert, but at that moment, I screamed at him with all my frustration built up from days of humiliation. My aunt joined in, and in front of the entire neighborhood, she called me a "psycho." People watched and laughed, enjoying the spectacle.

This moment deeply impacted me. My outburst wasn’t just about the insult that day but a response to the countless insults and frustrations I had endured. Being labeled a "psycho" in front of everyone was unbearable, especially when people knew the real culprits were my uncle and aunt.

After that day, I stopped leaving the house and interacting with others. It felt like people were mocking or laughing at me. This marked the beginning of the voices I started hearing.

Despite several attempts by my father to resolve family issues, we were stuck in Gwalior because our shop was the only source of income. We even tried relocating, but legal issues and frauds caused financial losses, leaving us with no choice but to stay in our divided house.

Over time, the city road-widening project took away a part of our shop's land, reducing its value. Eventually, we sold the house for a much lower price than its worth and moved to Mathura.

After that Diwali, I avoided interacting with my relatives and neighbors. I could sense people judging me. I was unaware that these feelings were early signs of a mental illness. The chaos in my life from 2017 to 2021 became the root cause of my condition.

Even as a child, I grew up in an environment of constant conflict. My father, being the eldest, took on responsibilities to support the family, but my uncle, with a completely opposite nature, never took anything seriously. My father’s grocery shop was successful because of his hard work, while my uncle flitted between various businesses without much success.

During the lockdown, my uncle and aunt started their grocery shop, creating unnecessary competition and conflict. They would open their shop earlier than ours, close later, and constantly try to steal our customers by spreading false information. This behavior tarnished the reputation of both shops.

No matter how hard my parents tried, peace was unattainable. The ongoing disputes left an indelible mark on me. I longed to escape, to find a job and avoid the shop entirely.

By 2020, I started hearing voices—a symptom of my growing mental health struggles. My family’s internal strife, coupled with the external pressures of societal judgment, had taken a toll on me. The conflicts weren’t limited to our family; some relatives and neighbors added fuel to the fire, making the situation worse.

These years of turmoil shaped my struggles, and I’m still trying to navigate through them, hoping for a day when I can find peace and regain control over my life.

#story #Agoraphobia #Schizophrenia

But, first a quote from Jon Kabat-Zinn who introduced these principles

“It is only when the mind is open and receptive that learning and seeing and change can occur.”
Kabat-Zinn, 2005, p. 31

Beginner’s Mind -The attitude of intentionally seeing things around you as if for the first time, by shedding our expectations and preconceptions and welcoming the possibility of a new moment, one that has never been seen before.

Curiosity, simplicity; Rather than coming to a situation with the weight of past ideas and experiences, the beginner’s mind asks you to arrive knowing that you do not know everything. As no moment is the same as another, every moment allows you a chance to learn. Being open and curious can help save you from being stuck in a rut.

#MentalHealth #MajorDepressiveDisorder #Anxiety #Depression #ChronicIllness #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #Mindfulness #BipolarDepression #PTSD #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #Trauma #ChronicFatigue #ChronicFatigueSyndrome #BipolarDisorder #Selfcare #Selfharm #Grief #SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts #SuicideAttemptSurvivors #Suicide #CheckInWithMe #DistractMe #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Cancers #ADHD #Fibromyalgia #ChronicPain #Caregiving #MoodDisorders #Addiction #PostpartumDisorders #Agoraphobia #SocialAnxiety #Loneliness #Headache #Migraine #AnorexiaNervosa #RareDisease #EatingDisorders #IfYouFeelHopeless

When we break down our goals into smaller chunks, it can help us reframe and get those goals met!
What's a goal you want to add into your routine?
I want to incorporate daily exercise and increase my water intake.
#PTSD #MentalHealth #BipolarDisorder #Agoraphobia #Anxiety #ChronicFatigue #CeliacDisease #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Addiction

I have agoraphobia so I don't leave my apartment unless it's to go to doctor's appointments, tests, procedures, etc. My home aid brought me grocery shopping today. Usually I order them & have them delivered but she wanted me to try. I have only gone grocery shopping 1 other time in the last 5 years so I was very overwhelmed but I managed to get through the whole store. There were quite a few other people there too. I didn't even know all this new food existed. I couldn't believe it. I am so proud of myself for making it the whole way. I was very overwhelmed at first but once I focused on getting what I needed & talking with my home aid it became a lot less stressful. I don't know how often that's going to happen but now I know I can do it. The holidays are really difficult for me. My family always invites me & I always have to find a way to get out of it because they don't understand why I have such a hard time. I wish it was easier to explain & that I wasn't constantly trying to find valid excuses that make sense to them. I'm sad if I'm not invited but I don't want to go at the same time. It doesn't make sense to me either. 🫤
#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Agoraphobia #Anxiety #PanicAttacks #PanicDisorder #PanicAttack #Journaling #Addiction #MentalHealth #BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorderBPD #SuicidalThoughts #SuicidalIdeation #Suicide #Selfharm

The picture is of my sweet boy sound asleep cuddling with me right now 🖤🤍🐾