Join the Conversation on
15.9K people
0 stories
1.7K posts
About Agoraphobia
Explore Our Newsletters
What's New in Agoraphobia

CPTSD. New Psychiatrist. Abilify

I am a recovering addict with CPTSD and GAD. I've been on Clozapam since 2008. I changed to a self pay Psychiatrist because the non profit that accepts Medicaid got new managers who began trying to phase out controlled substances with patients. The 0.5 milligrams of Clozapam is and has been the only medication that has ever helped.
The new Psychiatrist prescribed me Abilify. I do not have a history of Schizophrenia, ADHD, Autism or Depression. And I do not like talking mood altering substances any more than necessary. My Clozapam use in the NA community is controversial if they do not understand CPTSD.
So I took the Abilify for three days. I was high, I had hardly any impulse control, aggressive. High energy so very productive lol. Anxiety was high but it felt numb. Panic attack each day. I've read ( only on Google) so you know how that can be. All I can about this drug as well as Serotonin and dopamine levels ect ect.
I can't decide if I want to keep taking this. If I should wait until the drug levels out. I feel frustrated the only taking Clozapam isn't good enough for the doctors. I've thought about lying and telling them I'm taking the Ability but that's just not me. And to me that's addict behavior just to keep my Clozapam script. Clozapam helps control my anxiety and panic attacks, sleep, agoraphobia. It's not a fix all. I still have to practice coping skills and mindfulness. But I'm not drugged.
I don't know what decision to make. I'm scared to tell this to my new Dr as I don't know her well enough yet. Any advice is appreciated.
Thank you.

6 reactions 3 comments

Community for people who have panic attacks and can’t leave the house #PanicAttacks

My life was going well I remember I was on a date with a guy and I started to have a panic attack because his car alarm was going off but wouldn’t turn off while we were in the car. And the anxiety of that made me have to go to the bathroom but the place we were at didn’t have a bathroom so I was thinking “oh I’m gonna shit myself on this date”. He drove me to the nearest CVS and I went to the bathroom and so did my panic attack but it wasn’t the last time I was gonna deal with that . November I got my first job out of college and every time the my supervisor had to talk to me or train me I had to run to the bathroom, I was freaking out. Also I spent every morning panicking to get into the car, I was so scared. I quit my job a month later and thought my panic attacks would be gone but they got worse. I couldn’t see friends, doctors , my baby nephew. So I’ve been living at home since November without leaving the house, I had to leave the house last week and it took me 1h and 20mins to get in the car. I just wanna find a community of people who have panic attacks and are unable to leave their house so I can talk to them and understand how they got through their panic attacks or just to have someone to talk to. #Agoraphobia #PanicAttacks #MentalHealth

10 reactions 2 comments

Riding in fear

I have a unique fear of riding in cars. I feel isolated bc I feel no one else has this. I did get into an accident which caused PTSD but it began way earlier than that. I used to be agoraphobic but now I am getting out, but I struggle to go anywhere without my mom driving me. I get anxious with anyone else and my breathing gets weird and my muscles tense up. It’s a horrible feeling and to struggle with this alone is so difficult ☹️ #Agoraphobia #PTSD

5 reactions 2 comments

Where to go from here. #ADHD #Fibromyalgia #InterstitialCystitis #Migraines #Disability #Agoraphobia

I don’t know where to go from here.

Not only do I have multiple conditions that have caused me to be on disability, I have 3 kids, and been trying to get a medical billing job part time at home, but I cannot get my own space. We can’t move, we can’t add on, I can’t get a office shed.

How can we get ahead in life? I’m so tired of trying to push forward that I’m just about to give up trying, let the bills go to collections and disappear.

I also can’t find any friends who are willing to hang out online since I can’t go anywhere outside of my house.

I just need to know I’m not alone here.

14 reactions 3 comments

I'm new here...hello friend👋

I'd like to chat with more people who have health anxiety and who are currently going through it so that I can finally relate to someone. I wish I could talk to my family but they don't really understand what it's like so therefore I cannot fully express myself in the way that I'd like to unfortunately. I also deal with a lot of Agoraphobia as well
#HealthAnxiety #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Agoraphobia

50 reactions 23 comments


Thank you, thank you, thank you for adding this group to your myriad of others available! I need this one more than anything! #PTSD #Bipolar2 #copingskills #Depression #Agoraphobia

15 reactions 2 comments

This Apartment for My Family


It’s been almost 3 years since I wrote here, my old bio introduced me as 18 and still in high school haha.

Just a little update since then, I’m turning 21 this year and was able to graduate high school without a GED or anything like that. I overcame my agoraphobia and now enjoy going on walks. My truancy got a lot better towards the end of my senior year, being able to go a week without skipping. And my sleep schedule is back on track with the occasional staying up till 1am but still waking up at 9-10am even on the weekends.

Things are definitely a lot better since high school and since I was last on here but there is a reason why I’m here again. To be honest my therapist of about 7 years moved to a different state. I’ve been talking with a different therapist for about 3 months now but I’m having a really hard time adjusting. It feels like a lot is going on and i lost my only crutch.

Last month my grandma was diagnosed with cancer. She’s been on chemo since then and seeing her has been really tough. I’ve also been stressed because my grandma raises my 4 cousins. My uncles helped her write her will just in case anything happens but haven’t really come up with any good ways to take in my 4 cousins. My cousins told me that they’re going to get split up, my uncle want to take the second youngest because he has a disability that gets him money every month to whoever takes care of him. My cousins don’t have anyone else so i decided to get an apartment through section 8 like my mom did so i can keep everyone together but it’s been really stressful. It feels like at least every other day i get extremely stressed thinking about how this is all going to work. Lately it’s even starting to feel like I’ve been worrying over nothing..

So.. here’s the thing.

I planned to get an apartment for my 4 cousins and I or (depending on the elder cousins’s situation in the future) I get us 2 apartments, one for the eldest cousin and the other for myself and we’d just trade off the three younger cousins when we need some space. We’d both (or I) have to apply for section 8 and work jobs and we’d both (or I) have to apply for food stamps. Things would get complicated with balancing bills, dropping the kids off at school (depending on where we live), going to college and work. To be honest if this all works out I might not be able to go to college right away..

However things might be easier than i thought, I realized i’ve been trying to take this all on at once when in reality my grandma’s house will still be there. In fact, my uncles wrote my older cousin and I down as the owners of her house in her will. That means everything is okay right?

I can help my older cousin apply for food stamps so everyone can still get food and the house has been paid off for a long time now so anything like rent or a mortgage isn’t an issue. Bills will still need to get paid but maybe i can figure something out for that. Maybe there’s a government program like section 8 or something? Or my uncles maybe?

Honestly I don’t know what to think anymore. I haven’t really talked about any of this with my cousins yet but i will soon hopefully. They’ve been busy so it’s been hard to be able to talk to them about this. Plus, even though it’s been 3 years since i was last on the Mighty Im still really bad at talking to people about my problems and concerns. Im a bit better now but not anything really noticeable. I guess I’ll just keep trying though.

If you read all of this thank you, you didn’t have to but you did. It means a lot to have someone read this. Thank you so much!

1 reaction 1 comment