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Undiagnosed (C)PTSD

How is this possible??!! I watched Peter Cottontail and when the farmer chases the bunny my chest tightens, I can't breath, the panic grasps me and I begin to cry hysterically. Yet I can't get a Mental Health professional to diagnose me with PTSD let alone C-PTSD. It is the very organization of Mental Health that is driving me to a mental breakdown and insanity. When is it ok for the 'professionals' to become our abusers, tormentors and creators of immense trauma? Am I the only one that feels this is wrong on every level!!?? How is it that it is the very Mental Health system is 'allowed' to do this to innocent victims just looking for help to ease their pains? #CPTSD #MentalHealth #Undiagnosed #insanity #despondant #Trauma #Abuse #AbuseSurvivors #DomesticAbuse #ChildAbuse #ChildhoodAbuse #EmotionalAbuse #SexualAbuseSurvivors #I may look alive #Broken

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Not feeling it today #CheckInWithMe

I didn’t get the result I wanted at slimming world this week. Feeling really deflated and despondent. Feel like I’m just going through the motions. I thought I’d managed to shake myself out of it but I’ve dropped again. I also have one of my headaches now. #CheckInWithMe #despondant

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#Borderline #empty #alone #despondant

I can’t breathe. 5-10x/day. Choking on my tears. Tears which smudge my make-up So that I look as ugly and worthless on the outside as I am on the inside. Pain so strong that I can’t move. I can’t cut. I can’t numb. Can’t let anyone see or know how weak. I desparetely want to be loved. Someone’s everything. They can’t live with out me. They won’t ever leave me. Leave me but say how much they love me as they never come back. Has my front of ‘get away from me’ morphed from “Get Out!/ Why are you leaving me?”... to a gift wrapped, life sentence of ‘ Don’t feed the animals/Stay behind the fences..beware! I miss my people. The ones I loved. Love. Lost. Left. Lust. Live for. With? Without. HELP ME SOMETHING!