I was meant to have an appointment yesterday, but my psychologist was sick. It’ll be another two weeks before I get to see her...
I’d needed this appointment. I’ve had a bad few weeks at work. I’d been back home visiting my parents and that often brings stuff up.
I had people commenting while I was home about me being happy in the city I’m living in, and all I wanted to do was scream and tell them just how unhappy and anxious and depressed I am! I work to hide it from everyone, but I also just wish they’d see past the fake smiles and the trying to be polite and not bring the mood down...
A friend posted a photo of me and her from before one of my best friends committed suicide. I could see the genuine happiness in my face, that I haven’t had for so long. The photo was from the last weekend I saw my friend that died.
It’s almost 18 months since then... and I’m just as broken. And nothing is improving. And I’m tired of fighting. #SuicideLoss #Depression #Anxiety #fakesmile