feelingguilty

So much is going through my mind right now I just found out that one of ex partners/abusers killed her self a few days ago . And I feel like I want to feel bad about this but the honest to god truth is I don’t. She proved her self to be selfish and uncaring towards others and she had tried to take her life multiple times the last time she did, she not only wanted to harm herself but others around her. And someone that has that much in caring towards themselves and others I find it very very hard to give a damn about!
Does this make me and evil person?
I also am dealing with a very hard thing of that someone I used to be incredibly good friends with has not had contact with me in nearly over two months. And this was at one point someone I could turn to and talk to about almost anything in life espically if I was having a hard time . I don’t know how he feels about me anymore or if I can truly count him as friend anymore and coming to terms with that is really hard for me .
Espically after discovering that these two partners I was with had been taking advantage of me and sexual abusing me for their own selfish means!
I made a comment about the news I had found out to my fiancé and he got incredibly mad about it. Not as mad as he could have. But I felt guilty for evening bringing up the subject. I momentarily forgot that , this person had not only abused and taken advantage of me but had also done it to him also. And where as I mifht which I had any feelings on the matter he has none and dosnt wish to. This person had at one point when she was being sucidal towards herself turned around and became homicidal towards literally everyone in the house espically him and began at one point , calling him racial slurs and threatening to kill not only herself but hun and everyone in the household.
She had disregard for her own life as well as anyone else’s! #hurting #confused #Feelingbad #feelingguilty

#themightylife #coping #worklifebalance #newchallenges #feelingguilty #Parenting #Lawyers

Everytime I have a good time or I enjoy with my friends. I might have expressed more than I should. I feel stupid guilty and anxious. I think why do I even express. They dont like me and I feel trapped. I feel like I dont deserve to be around people and I should just stick to being alone. Now I am stuck in a possition where I am constantly thinking why did I decide to go out. I should have been alone. Its better no expectation no feeling bad. Just me n myself. I will have an anxiety attack at the moment but I have just stopped myself because I cant be vulnerable in front of everyone. I feel trapped. #anxious #Trapped #helpless

Every time I try to talk to my husband about the way his treatment of me affects me, or if I tell him I do not agree with the way he is proceeding in his relationship regarding his ex mistress and the child that resulted. That the way he is choosing to pursue is hurtful to me- or may need to be reassessed or at least discussed until we reach an agreement, he falls into a deep depression. He’ll sleep all the rest of that day of Will silk for days afterward. This makes me feel so horrible! Like I’m crushing his soul because he wants things the way he wants them, and I represent the reasons why it can’t be “simple” How can it be? Just because the other woman is ok with this ridiculousness does not mean I am- nor should I be! It was his choice to come back to me and stay with our family too. I did not drag him into it, I still do not. Sometimes I don’t even know why the hell he stays... I just hate feeling like I AM the obstacle to his happiness!I already feel like I am no longer loved or respected by him, but to feel like if I would just agree to let him play “daddy” with his affair partner and their baby, everything would be great? How much more am I to endure? Goodness- does he not think I realize the gravity of what he must give up in order to stay married? But I still feel he does not appreciate the gravity of what I sacrifice- my peace of mind, my trust, the tainting of our over 20 year relationship that by BOTH accounts wasn’t unhappy? All of that is gone for me. That is the price I have to pay. I haven’t even restricted access to the child but I resent that he keeps regular contact with that woman. He affords her more respect than I get- entirely more than she deserves! Will he ever come to his senses? Will I always be blamed as the reason out marriage will fail, because I can’t accept that part of his life? Am I crazy or does that sound like I’m taking the blame for why it can’t work? Because that’s how it sounds to me.. anyway- having a shovel load today- feels like the handle is gonna break ... #CheckInWithMe #feelingguilty #Feelliketheworstpersonever #failure

Over and over, I find myself sitting here alone and wha seems like hated. I find myself best at hurting the love of my life, leaving her because I don’t wanna hurt her. And hurting her again anyway.
Feeling like a useless piece of sh**. Feeling like I’m no good for nothing and no one.

I don’t deserve her... she needs to walk away for good...

I read all these posts here on # ThriverThursday where people have had serious illnesses, have had people around them die, gotten fired or divorced. I haven't had any of that. In fact, on paper, I probably live the perfect life. I'm engaged to a beautiful and kind man, I have supporting parents, free education and a degree now, but my world is still crumbling.

I often describe it as being around a hole. Sometimes I'm far away from the hole and everything is good, sometimes I'm on the edge, sometimes hanging on for dear life and now... I'm just falling. How do you, with the 'perfect' life, deal with the guilt of having anxiety? #feelingguilty

I am traveling to the UK to spend Christmas and new years with my son and family, its exciting because I haven't had a Christmas with him in ten years or more. I am surrounded here at home by 5 other adult children and grandchildren and I'm feeling so guilty at leaving all of them, especially when its me that usually cooks and organizes everything. I am torn. I am also well overdue a break & my children have said they dont mind but I am such a worrier and things are not all so clear cut either. Oh I don't know but I'm just feeling so overwhelmed with everything, thinking of my lost loved ones and not in a great relationship myself. Money problems too. However I must say I know there are people much more worse off and for what I have i am truly thankful. I am having a self pitying day/night. 😕
#CheckInWithMe