FeelingLow

I feel low and down and not myself and I need to get some things off my chest, so here goes.

First off work is erm not great. I don't want to say much here as its a new situation and I'm hopeful things will improve in time. Its affecting me physically though. So many video meetings mean not enough movement and that has caused so much pain. My shoulders became rocks last week and yesterday my physio loosened them up thank goodness.

My lower back is also playing up. I wouldn't call this a flare but I'm certainly on the worse end of my normal.

Sleep is eluding me. I fall asleep OK but then overheat after a few hours and either toss and turn the rest of the night or, as is the case tonight, get up and come downstairs where its cooler. In the mornings I'm energetic and feel normal (well my normal at least 🤪) and function OK. After lunch I crash. Its all I can do to stay awake and sometimes I don't. Then as soon as work finishes I'm asleep for a few hours and a zombie. I haven't had the energy to cook in several days, and ordering dinner in isn't an option. I've missed running the dishwasher for 2 days now which is not good. I feel awful because usually I cook and do the dishwasher and my bf washes everything else up. I don't feel like I'm doing my part and it's not fair. This level of exhaustion is not normal for me. I feel like my body clock is out of whack and I can't seem to fix it.

I guess I feel lost at the moment and I don't know what to do to make things better. I just want to feel better 😔

#ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #axialSpondyloarthritis #Arthritis #FeelingLow #lost #rambles

I don’t really know what happened to be honest. Earlier today, I felt pretty good, tired, but felt good. Then I took a much needed nap and after waking up shortly after, I began to feel bad for no particular reason. Sometimes it happens very once in a while and it’s weird. #MentalHealth #FeelingLow #okbutnotok #Doingok #awfulfeeling #Sleep #moodswings

#FeelingLow I feel like I just can’t get life to work for me lately. I’ve had 3 jobs in the last 6 months. racked up debt with payday loans , am frustrated with my mental health. I went to a support group today and Gould a bit of relief from others who share simular issues . last time I went to the psychiatrist I told them I didn’t want more meds or an adjustment on them that I wanted to work on my own self care. I want certain things in life but things just seem so hard! I feel like I’m being negative and complaining, I just want to feel better!

Everytime I have a good time or I enjoy with my friends. I might have expressed more than I should. I feel stupid guilty and anxious. I think why do I even express. They dont like me and I feel trapped. I feel like I dont deserve to be around people and I should just stick to being alone. Now I am stuck in a possition where I am constantly thinking why did I decide to go out. I should have been alone. Its better no expectation no feeling bad. Just me n myself. I will have an anxiety attack at the moment but I have just stopped myself because I cant be vulnerable in front of everyone. I feel trapped. #anxious #Trapped #helpless

you know when you just feel like nothing around matters and you just feel cold inside like what's is the point... i gave someone that trust for the first time in years and once again i got burned. iv never felt how iv fell these past 9 months never been as low as i been, ended up doing stuff to try n pick my self up iv not done in over six years. last thing she did was convince me the people around me was shit talking bout me and trust me it was convincing i can't find no logical reason why they wudnt and it's fucked me up so much thinking about stuff how it adds up with what she told me, like some shit what's been happening what she didn't no bout then made sence. iv gone from trusting and talking to this person who just paranoid bout every little thing i do, my barrier i use to have up seemed to have broke down because none of my copying stragies are working, only time i can think straight lately is when I'm just sitting down in my room doored lock music on in my head phones as i dont feel comfortable (i live in supportive acomdation) in the rest of my house. this feeling should be possible and feeling alian to everything as if i dont belong anywhere isn't a feeling is wish upon my worst enemy or anything iv experience these pass few months and continuing, because asking for help continually to doctors or support workers or mental health teams and being ignored and left to my own device and flogged of with tablets really does back up the ideas streaming frew my head with how i feel, i honestly dont no how i wake up in the morning or where i finding this small strength to keep walking but i know iv already tried to end it.. i just keep waking up so i feel like not even that wants me, like how do you honestly comprehend all these negatives and are expected to just not lose your shit at someone eventually. i dont think iv understood why people in so much pain want to go out in so much pain before because for me i always fort of it as i live with this pain why go out feeling just as much. to be honest iv given up on the idea of doing it now, the idea the plan is there but i dont want to wake up again knowing it had fail na i pass on that just feel worst so no on that. i come to the conclusion that no1 can help me and that iv just got to say fuck it you know like just fuck go do something iv not done something what terrifies the living crap out of me because of my anxieties and panic attacks, someone brought a concert ticket and had a spare i got offer to go.. i dont do crowds let alone going out much or leave my area, i convince my self i have to go to this or my friend will be well peed off at me, but I'm just gonna just in a taxi and go, i have no idea where it is the area so ill be trapped ill have no choice but to deal with it ill have to if not for me my mate, dont get me wrong she knows the stuff i gone frew right down to the time i first asked for help, so she knows bout it all. this pretty much my final idea i honestly have nothing else.

Does anyone feel like you're kinda in this 'race' called life and you're massively behind? I'm 35 and single again. All of my friends are in relationships and have had children. I try and be happy on my own... But i just want the opportunity to have a family. At the moment I just feel like it's slipping away right before my eyes 😢