Focusonthepositive

2019 was the year that tested me.
I lost a friend to suicide, my auntie to cancer, survived two car accidents, worked two jobs til I was burnt out and hit a major relapse in my mental health that deteriorated my mind and body to the point where I questioned if I still wanted to be here.
However, in 2020 I choose to focus on the positives as I begin my Masters in Primary Teaching and continue in finding helpful ways to maintain my mental health. Bring on 2020 💛

I’ve overcome some major hurdles lately. I’m coping better and slowly emerging from “my cave” to engage with the world again. It’s still a HUGE struggle, but I’m having a few more victories.

Yesterday, my son took the day off work to help me leave the house, God bless him. I had to really push through the pain, fatigue, fear, anxiety, distractions and tears, but I finally got outside the front door, even if it was technically just before midnight (11:52pm)!!!! I was able to drive my car for the first time in nearly a year and go grocery shopping at the supermarket.

Earlier, I made urgent calls to my bank, and several others, to sort out a mix up — a huge thing for someone with phone anxiety!!!

These are all good things, right?

So why is it that in the back of my head, I have this “voice” saying... “Wait for it, your bubble is going to burst... This won’t last. You’re going to crash and burn, just wait and see.” 👺👹

Does anyone know what I’m talking about?

Please help me drown out this voice. I want to focus on, and celebrate, my victories — big and small. Having good days doesn’t mean I won’t have bad days in the future. It doesn’t mean I won’t lose a battle here and there. But I don’t want to waste me time and precious energy worrying about those negatives and miss out on today’s positives.