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Displaced Person’s Club

I like this quote because it aptly describes what it is to suffer from a chronic long term illness, because societal norms make us naturally displaced.

If you are also afflicted with childhood trauma or CPTSD (as I think Jeanette Winterson most likely is), the displacement becomes part of your fabric. No matter where you go or what you do, you never quite feel like you have arrived at the right place.

You are forever searching.

Growing up in an unsafe environment, meant that my ability to trust in the outside world was forever tainted. No matter how much time passes, because time in our minds is an abstract concept.

Trauma does not obey the laws of time.

For this reason; the only truly safe place that feels like home are the nooks and crannies in my mind. The only hiding place that no one can invade or take from me. Self comfort was something I was forced to learn from the start, so I belong very securely in my inner sanctuary… it is the outside world that gives me trouble.

After years of forced silence, I find that I can no longer hold back my truths. Unfortunately people don’t want to hear the truth, we are supposed to engage in odd games and superficial niceties. Particularly if you’re British—because complaining is a social faux pas that has somehow become encoded into our culture. Even if you suspect your waiter spat in your meal, you’ll still gush about how great everything was if questioned, then perhaps rush home to leave a bad online review.

It’s the new angry letter to the editor.

I’m not convinced this is a particularly healthy way to live your life, but when you’re a spoonie, sometimes you have to choose your battles wisely. Be a nonplussed ‘big dog’ as my therapist calls it.

And, if you’re bedbound or homebound, it can be difficult to find your tribe when you do not have any of the usual things that foster relationships. Work, parenting, hobbies, or trustworthy family members with a healthy respect for personal boundaries.

I think this is why I find nature so comforting—it does not care who or what you are. Outside the world of material and man made things; wherever you are, there you belong.

If any of this describes you—welcome to the Displaced Person’s Club! We don’t have regular meetings or a fixed meet up spot… it’s a work in progress. But you’ve probably been quietly wearing the badge all your life, which gives us all something in common ❤️‍🩹

#ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #Childhoodtrauma #PTSD #Trauma #ChildhoodTraumaSurvivors #Anxiety #ChronicIllness #Selfcare #Selflove #Selfworth #Spoonie #Relationships #HealthyBoundaries #Loneliness

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Protect Your Peace! #boundaries #HealthyBoundaries #protectyourpeace

Validate yourself and you won’t rely on attention from others for your self worth! You are enough and worthy as you are! Protect your peace and energy especially from people who drain you and especially if you can’t cut off toxic people just ensure you establish your boundaries to PROTECT YOURSELF! Nothing and no one is worth more than your health! #staysafe #establishboundaries #MentalHealth #Selfcare #boundariesareimportant

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This Time

After all this time she realized it wasn't them who changed, it was her. It was her who opened her eyes and found her worth. It was her who started to take care of herself. It was her who didn't wanna be taken for granted. It was her who found her wings. It was her who found her voice. They never changed, they were always this way. She was sad and it was almost like she wanted it to go back at times but all she had to do is remember who she was. She didn't want to hide anymore to be loved for who she was. This time was her time. She was done with being careful. She was done with trying to please everyone. She was done with pushing her feelings back. She had rights too. She didn't need your validation anymore. She started to take care of herself. It was her time this time! #innerpeace #Selflove #HealthyBoundaries #loveyourself


#HealthyBoundaries #Anxiety #Thanksgiving

I imagine mine is not the only extended family who can put the pressure on (even if unintentionally) to visit them over the holidays. While I love them very much, I am finally setting healthy boundaries. My husband and little one can’t be there, so neither can I. My immediate family must come first. Happy Thanksgiving to you all!