••The photo I attached has no significance other than nature being my crutch lately and it helps to enjoy the small things so i’ve been trying to get outside and be mindful. ••The entire month of June has been incredibly rough for me. I have been so restless and bored constantly and this allows my mind to run wild and create up things to obsess over or try to control. The boredom makes me feel guilty and useless. Guilty because I should be working (am struggling to find a job) or doing something productive like most people around me seem to be doing. I feel useless because everyone else seems to be proud of their accomplishments, no matter how big or small, yet I never feel like I have accomplished enough. I try to clean & organize my apartment, read self help books, take resumes around my city, look into courses for this coming Fall. It feels like no matter what I do, i’ve never done enough, in my OWN mind. Everyone around me encourages me (for the most part) and tells me I’m doing great considering I’m without a job right now but I feel like a loser. I would never consider someone else in my position to be a loser so why am I being so hard on myself? Ive caused myself to be incredibly indecisive and its tearing me apart. Because I never feel fulfilled with what i’m doing, Ive found it easier to just not make choices because it seems I can never make the right choice. It hurts me. It hurts because I’m resilient and I know I have confidence somewhere deep in me but i’m a shell of myself and I know it hurts my partner to see me struggle so hard.