Hi All,
I made my first post the other day and the community was so supportive and I am grateful. I’ve dealt with #MajorDepressiveDisorder most of my adult life and HEAVY #Anxiety over at least the last 8 years. Anxiety that can’t be treated really no matter how many #Klonopin I take. I recently had such an outlandish thought take over me completely that it scared me enough to wonder if something else was in play. I’ve had a lot of what are typical bipolar symptoms when I put it together now, but never considered the happiness I sometimes felt as anything different, only that I felt sad for people who obvs weren’t as happy as I was at that time. I’m the one who brought up #Bipolar2Disorder to my psychiatrist, who prescribed topamax last Saturday. Is this enough time to notice any effects? I haven’t noticed any new or worsening depression (thank you LORD), I haven’t noticed any elation or happiness but there’s not too much to be happy about these days so I don’t think that’s a change. The main things I’m noticing are that my sleep is a bit disrupted (I also take ambien, lamictal, and klonopin at night which typically knock me out dead to the universe), I feel an outrageously heartbreaking sense of aloneness, and I feel like writing again, like I can’t get enough of it. My husband says I’m gaslighting myself and telling myself I have this when I don’t know if I even do. Surprisingly, this doesn’t seem to relieve the aloneness I’m feeling. Does any of this sound like what anybody has gone through? I have LITERALLY no one to talk to AT ALL, and it sucks so bad. ❤️