Left

So my stbx decided to up and leave me. I'm assuming in thoughts that I would give up. That's not true, I got myself 💯! I'm enjoying my life and all I can say is thank you.

I can't take this! But, I'm trapped. I have no friends, they all left me because I couldn't keep up because of my health issues, physical and mental. So, I'm trapped in a house with my twin older sisters (33yrs old), my mother and father. But, its my sisters driving me crazy!
I go to my pain doctor today, every night before I got I can't sleep and I'm on edge. I'm especially edgy because of everything going on and having to look at my life and all I can see is it going nowhere and down hill since I've been diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) and Thrombocytosis just this year.
My mom is sick herself with physical healtg issues and known for running late. So, I came in and told her my doctors appointment was at 2:30. My sister was in the room and then told her it was at 2:00 to make mom think it was 2:30. We argued back and forth before I had to justify 2:30 because it was at 3:00. She pretty much told me I screwed up then because mom knew the real time. When I argued with my sister that I already knew to tell the time earlier then it was.
I couldn't help but yell, she wasn't listening to me! I knew what I was doing! She clapped her hands at me, like she would our dogs to get their attention. I screamed even louder at her to never treat me like a dog but she always does!
She then yelled at me to stop yelling at her and I should be nice to her because she was doing me a favor (it was something else not tell the time).
I followed her as she did the favor but argued with her that I knew what I was doing and to butt out of my life some because I don't need her to do everything for me.
I never got an apology. She just got angrier at me as I went in my room. I will never /get/ that apology. She will not stop doing things that treat me like a dog. She will not stop butting into my life. I'm 26. I'm an adult and I don't need to be treated like a child. I have nowhere to go, no one to go to, no one to be here for me.
I'm not excluding my BF, but he lives 3 states away and we can only talk on the phone and I'll be lucky if I see him this year (financial to start, then the quarantine)
My mom isn't really touchy feely, so she's no comfort. Nor will she stick up for me or tell my sister off. All I got from her was to be quiet and not wake up my other sister.
All I have is myself, my room, and stupidly, my baby blanket for comfort. This is how its been for years.
All I want is someone here. A friend. But all that happens is they leave me, I'm like a stepping stone friend. I'm there till they find someone else, I'm convenient. But never someone they plan on being friends with for a long time.
I want respect! I want my fricken mother to stick up for me! I'm so tired of this abuse!

#anxious #Trapped #alone #help #lonely #frustrated #Abuse #CheckInWithMe #exhausted #hopeless #scared #whyme #Left #norespect #fighting #uncontrolled #Uncontrollablethoughts #uncontrollablerage

I was born with 2 rare congenial deformities. Klipple Feil Syndrome (3 vertebrae in my neck are fused together) and Springles deformity (a large boney growth off of my first rib, that's at the top of the back). I had surgery before I was 2 years old. So I was fragile and over protected, mostly by my Grandma. I was only aloud to play with my order brother and my cousin. He is a month younger than me and we all lived with my Grandma. After my cousin and his Mom moved to a new house and My Mom,my brother and I moved. My Brother made friends his age and my Mom was an alcoholic. So I was about 4 years old and I didn't like TV. I was a very creative and imaginative child, so I would spend hours alone outside. I would make little people from grass and animals out of rocks and old nail polish. I would have farms and zoo's! I didn't have a real friend until I was 11 years old!#