let

I have tried lots of things,lots of courses. But being consistent is not so easy for me.i cant tske pressure. I cant take challenges.i cant take stress.whatever it is if i dont find my #comfortness i just give up
Might be it could be sound like worthless or looser,but when i see people dont care about others emotions or people are not understanding, then i think if they think they are right then why dont i think like that too.
Every time i start to think about career change or start up a new thing that interests me most i am very much optimistic i can do it!!!!
But at some point in the middle of the course if any thing happens like personal life problem,over work load,over stress it hits me really bad.
I start to think,i should not have taken the course at first place.i start to break inside.i cant take changes.
I get overly deepressed.my surroundings start to bite me.
All i want to do is stay at home,make tea and watch movie or netflix,doing house chores... I just want to enjoy my life like that.
I get criticism a lot from my parents,relative or friends.they push me,advice me,suggest me do this do that....but i know how much hollowness inside me just keep me in my bubble...

#lonely

I always have a question in my mind why they both[my brother and my mother] treat me like this. the conservation with us is based on their mood if they are in good mood then they treat me like a family member but if their mood is not right then get angry on me. for them I am nothing. they never understand me as their daughter and sister. sometimes I feel like I have no place between them.

I am a 12th pass student and getting a 1-year gap for my medical test preparation. I need some calm place but my brother is always blaming me and insulting me by saying that you are failed one year, you are shamed for us you are a burden on our family. every time I hear this and get emotionally harm inside my mind but I have no right to show it. I feel frustrating. but today i just explode but i dont have courage to speak out from my heart. not crying in front them.

#I did something , I didn’t want to do ,I had to let go of someone I never had! Social media can be very painful , I can only speak for my self # He is on tic tic , he is very handsome,but what drew me to him was his sarcastic since of humor. #I have been in a state of depression for a long time ,then I was looking at tictoc and he was doing his video,he made me laugh. #DID not think I could laugh,but he made me laugh and feel something. #we talked at the beginning and nothing serious.But he made me feel things I thought where gone. #he is very special,like my husband .My husband was like that he’s humor was not Sarcastic.He’s humor was something else very special, but people change and he lost that humor, he is serious now. Once in a blue moon the person I feel in love with shows up and it’s pure gold . I guess that’s why I was drawn to Starlord every video was something and I didn’t know it but I found out he could sing, #and he’s good . I have listened to every song he has sung ,at least I think so.Well I said something that pissed him off, I thought he was making fun of something I texted him .So he stopped texting me ,You think I would have left him alone then #but No. #It went on for a bit me ,finding waxes to see his videos. #and sending messages and songs that I thought he might like. I am ashamed of my self , I have never ever done anything like that. # He was and is like a Magnet 🧲 to me.If he finds this and reads this . I am sorry so so sorry my dear Jackie.And I will leave you be. I hope nothing but the best for you. #🦩✌️☮️😎💕

I'm so tired of the so called experts that because they have never experienced any type of Cronic Pain yet they are deciding what is good for us? Let one of them, put a rock in their shoe and walk around on it and tell me how long before they remove it. CRONIC PAIN SUFFERERS can't remove the rock. Let them sleep on a couple of forks under their sheets. How long can they stand that. Although that type of isn't the same condition as our pain. They can stop their suffering! We can't!
#ChronicPain

#Recovery #let be others people fault.

I just want to hide underneath my dark covers, in my dark room. And hide. Please just let me hide. But no, Im an adult and I have to live today whether or not I feel like I can. Please...I need to hide today... #let me hide #ChronicPain #Anxiety #Depression #Introvert #Icanttoday

I see her face and bushy hair
As she faces the regal queen
Her identity facing a frightful tear
In this favorite movie scene

I am invisible and I am good at it
She forcefully states as she flees
I’d always found humor in this snippet
But it’s become a curse to me

I had asked for help as a teen
Thinking the doctor knew what to do
But he was spiteful and mean
And sent me packing with a shoo

For 14 years an answer I sought
And all the doctors wouldn’t help
By the time the answer was caught
I had become a shadow of myself

Invisible and good at it am I
Years of medical abuse I endured
Not making a fuss only a sigh
While I wait on an elusive cure

I’m invisible as if under Harry’s cloak
The doctors look right at me each time
But of me they never take note
I’m nothing more than a dollar sign

I have faded into the background
But I want to return the fore
I feel as if I can’t make a sound
I fall when I want to soar

Questions fill my heart and mind
No answers anywhere I see
But I will shake off the invisible bind
And find the place where I can run free

#PrincessDiaries #HarryPotter #InvisibleIllness #movingforward #let ’sdothis