letgoandletgod

I know many people who have joined AA
Yet I never stepped foot in that door;
I struggle with other addictions besides
Still I leave myself open for more.

I love how others say my story inspires
Yet I feel like a fake and a fraud;
As I look in the mirror, whom there do I see?
That little girl still hurt and lost.

I wake up each day with the best of intent
Yet fear and doubt usually win;
I force myself to take a shower and dress
But that's where it seems to all end.

My thoughts run away and take me with them
To places I wish were unknown;
Emotions evoked send me spiraling once more
The feelings of which leave me numb.

Depression within is a constant battle
It's heaviness weighs on my chest;
I struggle to breathe or just utter a word
Til the fight leaves me wanting to rest.

Still I pick myself up from one day to the next
Vow somehow I will make it right;
Then self sabotage or draw into my shell
Avoid connection day and night.

I've come to accept that I'll never outrun
Those demons which lead me astray;
At least not until I can handle the truth
I'm the obstacle in my own way.
.
Until then I'll struggle, mind set on unrest
My heart left in want of the key;
For the power to heal lies in but a gesture
Let go and God will set you free.

By: Debra Brent
08/21/2021

#Addiction #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Depression #SuicideAwareness #EUPD #MajorDepressiveDisorder #Poetry #poems #purposeinthepain #hurting #thestruggle #Recovery #Healing #Faith #Godislove #letgoandletgod #MentalHealth