This is more of a post that maybe can give anyone in here hope that you CAN remove toxic people from your life. Even if they’re family. I’m not looking for applause or the “im Proud of you”’s, I’m proud of myself and that’s enough. I just have a need to share this with people that it can be done.
On Saturday morning two weeks ago, I woke up and my 14yo son came to me and said, “Meemaw told Daniel (my mothers abusive ex) that I cussed her out and look what he texted me!”
-now before anyone huffs and puffs about my child cursing my mother out... my mother has narcissistic personality disorder. And treats us like we are the scum on the bottom of her shoe regardless if we do everything she tells us to do or whatever she wants from us in any given moment. She creates scenarios in her head and goes off those scenarios even if those things never happened or were said. So a few months ago, my cussed her out because he hit a breaking point of her putting me down and bullying him too. While I don’t condone the language that was used, I can understand why he said what he said, they were echoes of my own thoughts my entire life.
So anyways, he shows me this text and instantly, I shit you not, I contemplated waking my sleeping mother with my fists. She crossed a line. The text said, “if I ever hear you talk bullshit to your grandmother again I will come over there and knock your fucking teeth out. You have a good day.” A grown ass man who has no business being in our business threatened MY child. All because my mother wasn’t getting a reaction out of us anymore with her yelling and screaming and put downs. So she ran to the man who has called her every name in the book and laid hands on her, for a reaction. It’s sad really. So as of Saturday my son and I have been staying with my best friend at his house because my son is often there by himself with her while I’m at work and now he’s scared to be there. My child is scared.... my friend told us we could come stay at his house for a while. So yesterday, I got a uhaul and waited until she was at work, went there and in two hours both our stuff was packed and loaded. I wrote a letter to my mother explaining to her that I’d love to sit here and detail the last 33 years of my life and what it was like having her as a mom but it’d be pointless because in her mind, she’s never wrong, she’s the victim, and we are the bad guys in her story. I proceeded to tell her that she is no longer welcome in our lives. That necessary actions will be taken if she even tries to contact either of us or shows up where she might think we are. I shut her phone off since it was under my plan, I put in for a disconnection of the internet I put in her house, I took EVERYTHING of ours out of that house and left the house key behind.
Despite the grieving I did for the loss of the one person who spent my entire life making me feel unwanted and hated, I haven’t looked back. I’ve stood my ground. It’s hard, but it’s liberating. #AbuseSurvivors #EmotionalAbuse #ChildhoodAbuse #Survivor #YouCanDoIt #StayStrong #Narcissitparent #loveyourselfenough