maladaptive daydreaming

Hello so this is my first post here I hoped it would be different but here we are.
5 years ago my immersive daydreaming turned maladaptive and started affecting many aspects of my life(it was always there but never reached the doing it for hours level)I didn't know of the term at the time and just thought of it as a quirky thing or even exercise (it involves pacing sooo I used to consider putting music on and pacing as just my way of doing exercise) but in the last 3 years or so it has gotten to a crazy level when I can't spend a second without doing it taking over my life completely and it just gets more severe even sometimes preventing sleepibg at a certain time to do it.tbis caused me to be kind of numb whenever I try to feeel emotions normally or crazily overwhelmed.anyways I lost all human connection and haven't had any friends since COVID not because of lockdown in itself but just obsessive thoughts that took over they were unlogical and I knew it but they made me overwhelmed and even do some actions repetitively just to get rid of it temporarily of course as they would come back aggressively even more so (kind of OCD kind of behavior and thoughts but I didn't really wanna say that as I don't have a diagnosis or access to professional help)and they took over for the whole day and this is where really the MD started to be and to form imagining scenarios pacing more than ever and listening to songs I mean this took down those thoughts for the moments I did it but they came back even stronger afterwards and yeah the 2 years after that weere also just like that daydreaming and crazy thoughts taking over often having panick attacks and peaks of anxiety for no reason (serious one the ideas I knew were incorrect) I even had repetitive thoughts about things I've already done like saying did I really complete a task when I know for a fact I did and just panicking about not completing it (sorry if this doesn't make sense) but anyways for the last 2 years those things decreased a bit but the Maladaptive daydreaming just went to a whole other level taking every second of the day.i mean I also keep having the sensation that this shouldn't be this case that those thoughts and maladaptive daydreaming shouldn't even be an issue that I am just weak and that I shouldn't be complaining.
Anyways Sorry that I couldn't really organize my thoughts and I just went on kind of a rant that is really messy but I would like some advice on steps to take to improve (I did meditation and journaling for about 40 days now)

Hello

My name is Flora, I’m 40 years old. I am from Brazil, so first of all, I am so sorry for any misspelling or grammar mistakes.

Well, I have so many things to share and learn! I have suffered from C-PTSD since childhood because I am a survivor of abuse and I come from a very dysfunctional family.

I've been struggling with depression, migraine and maladaptive daydreaming since my early teens. I suffer from social anxiety, I have a very hard time dealing with people in general.

I am still learning how to manage some of my worst symptoms and manage my worst days. Everyday I discover something great about myself.

I will do my best to share my stories! Thank you!

#SocialAnxiety #PTSD #Depression #Migraine #CPTSD #MaladaptiveDaydreaming

I’ve been struggling with derealization and maladaptive daydreaming since around my trauma 4 years ago. It has been incredibly hard to overcome, i stare at the wall for hours on end and have no idea i’m doing it. sometimes i can catch myself and try to come back, and sometimes i could stay up all night staring and only realize it in the morning. it’s really destroyed my life and i feel like there’s no way to get better. please share tips, grounding myself is hard #MaladaptiveDaydreaming #dissociativedisorders

I was just thinking about this just now. I daydream regularly and there are times that some of these daydreams feel real. I don't remember certain parts of my childhood, but sometimes there are moments that come back to me and they feel as if I was there again. I've spent a lot of time "living in my head" for as long as I could remember. It's like I've got a thousand tabs open with worlds and storylines. I'm sure to a lot of people this sounds completely normal and it probably is. #MentalHealth #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #MaladaptiveDaydreaming #Daydreaming

Is it possible that because of depression one can lose interest and motivation to study? I mean I'm trying to study but negative thoughts consumes me. I've watched a lot of people have studied and made their career while they were depressed or having mental illness. So I always ask myself if it's my excuse or mental illness.

#MaladaptiveDaydreaming #

Things are pretty bad. They always are. But this month especially. Anniversary of an attempt is coming up. Just reminds me that I failed. And I wish it would have worked. February has always been my ideal suicide month. I’m tired of the psychosis. And not having my own identity. I don’t know who I am. There’s just so much confusion in my mind. My brain feels so broken. I usually say it feels like scrambled eggs. But lately it’s just felt hazy and broken. I wish I didn’t have to go through this alone. There’s just no one who can support me in the way I desire. I fantasize about having friends who act as caregivers that I could live with and get support from. Like a mental health roommate lol. It’s exhausting taking care of myself. More than anything I think I want physical contact. Someone to just lounge on the couch and watch a movie with me. Maybe get a little cuddled up like friends do at a sleepover or something. I just want to feel someone physically caring for me. I need that type of touch support. I’m all alone. And it hurts like a bitch. Everyday I just ache. I’m sure there’s people out there who if I got close with would care for me in that way. But I can’t just wait around to meet them. I can’t live with this pain that long. I just want to be held and comforted with zero judgement. I want to speak freely about my thoughts without getting hospitalized. But that will never happen. Just have to keep day dreaming about it until I die. #SchizoaffectiveDisorder #DID #Suicide #lonely #SuicidalThoughts #rant #Depression #MaladaptiveDaydreaming #Maladaptivecoping

I’m wondering what other people do to manage their constant ideas and stories. I myself like to write, what to you like to do?