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Cancer & OCD

So over the past 4 months I have had three spots of skin cancer removed. All were non- melanoma and all were caught early. I am in my mid 40s so not super young, but certainly not very of either, granted age is simply a number and mindset. But I also suffer from OCD and this situation has pulled me so far into deep dispair that I am feeling like I am
struggling to find hope and contentment.

It doesn’t help that I am also a highly negative person and have generally looked at things in a darker manner than I would truly like to.

I am seeing a couple of counselors about all this but it still sometimes feels like 1 step forward 2 steps back.

I know I am not facing terminal issues currently but my mindset seems to have gone down that rabbit hole.

I could use some words of hope or wisdom for handling this and any suggestions for care are welcome too.

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Definitely my feelings #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #catheterlife #MentalHealthAwareness #mentalhealthmatters #MentalHealth

Ive not been on here in a while .Since march I have long term catheterised which has caused so many issues,non stop hospital stays which along the way now dealing with other problems.Mentally I am so drained I feel miserable that I'm not who I was 9 months ago,I can barely do anything.ive become basically house bound and most days the pain stops me even doing simple daily tasks.i feel like such a failure as a mum and as me in general .I hate seeing myself in the mirror now with cathter, more scars from the skin cancer biopsies,having to use walking aid due to the spinal issues & pain I just hate what I see and what i am now.But I'm so fed up feeling this way and I try so hard but each day between pain and everything going on my aims to try and feel better seem to just completely become non existent.....

I hope everyone is well ♥️
#ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #BladderPain #BladderProblems #catheterlife #Endometriosis #MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwareness #mentalhealthmatters #Anxiety #Depression #biopsies #SkinCancer #CheckInWithMe #MentalHealth #AloneTogether #loveyourself #Selfcare #Melanoma #Bekind #loveyourself

17 reactions 12 comments
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A smile can hide many things .... #MentalHealth #mentalhealthmatters #Anxiety #ChronicDepression #Depression #Selfcare #Parenting

Just because someone is smiling doesn't mean they're FINE .Just because someone you see that is unwell or has been dealing with any physical or mental health issues is smiling doesn't meant they're BETTER .It doesn't mean they're OK now or that they're not in pain .Usually alot of the time it's because they are used to dealing with their struggles and pain and are just trying to put on a smile and get on with it .You never know how much someone is really struggling so don't judge them .Don't just assume or make comments to them about their health being better or because they don't look sick if they're smiling or have managed to get dressed or go out .You've no idea how much it's taken them to even do that ....
And you never know just how much someone need syour kindness today ♥️

BE KIND ♡
YOU MATTER ♡
LOVE YOURSELF ♡

#MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwareness #mentalhealthmatters #Anxiety #Depression #Selfcare #Melanoma #SkinCancer #Insomnia #longcovid #COVID19 #PTSD #Upallnight #CheckInWithMe #Bekind #loveyourself #GeneralParenting #Parenting #MomGuilt #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #BladderPain #BladderProblems #bladder #Endometriosis #AloneTogether

27 reactions 7 comments
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Reality .... #MentalHealth #mentalhealthmatters #ChronicPain #Anxiety #Depression #Selfcare #CheckInWithMe

😂😂😂 this is definitely the reality when suffering with chronic pain , anxiety ,depression ,fatigue ,physical pain or just mentally struggling.
When you feel like you need a rest after just taking a shower because your so drained .....

It's the little things that seem so simple to others that can really take so much working upto actually doing & then struggling so much after doing it .

#MentalHealth #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #bladder #BladderProblems #Endometriosis #Catheter #Melanoma #Anxiety #mentalhealthmatters #Bekindtoyourself #loveyourself #Positivity #Bekind #longcovid #COVID19 #PTSD #Upallnight #CheckInWithMe #Depression #Parenting #GeneralParenting #Insomnia #ItsOkNotToBeOk #SkinCancer #AloneTogether #struggling #youmatter #Selfcare

28 reactions 6 comments
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Upcoming summer break is causing me so much anxiety ......... #MentalHealth #mentalhealthmatters #Anxiety #Parenting #GeneralParenting

So tomorrow is the little ones last day at school before the 7/8 weeks summer break.
I had been hoping g that I'd have had some sort of surgery or treatment by now before this instead doff just being left like this for nearly 4 months now.I am feeling so anxious about trying to be mummy everyday over the break ,making it fun for them ,keeping them occupied and busy and making memories while mostly being housebound.If it's nice we can spend time in the garden and do things ther ebut even that I know I will struggle with ,so on the rubbish weather days when we're estuck at home while I'm in constant pain I am stressing about how I can make it fun for them ,be mummy , not ruin their break because I am in agony and supposed to be on bed rest !! I feel frustrated that I have been left like this and still waiting on appointments regarding teats and if can get the surgery etc. I go in next Wednesday for biopsies ,two for cysts they found on my thyroids so I'll have stitches and stuff too and probably not be feeling the greatest. So my anxiety is just so bad ,feeling so guilty that compare dto last year I can't do the things I always did with them plan trips,days away, swimming,fun activities etc as even doing simple things at home are such a struggle pain wise and then totally drain me ......
Really trying to think of lots of little ideas to do with them to make memories and make it as fun as I can for them but I am really stressing over it .
While also trying to make sure i have little moments of self care for myself to help with my anxiety & to try take those moments to do things for me to just recharge myself so i dont end up completely burntout.Having chronic pain ontop of other health issues while trying to be the old me and best mummy I can now is definitely challenging 😭😭😭

#MentalHealth #mentalhealthmatters #Anxiety #Depression #Selfcare #Melanoma #SkinCancer #Insomnia #longcovid #COVID19 #PTSD #Upallnight #CheckInWithMe #Bekind #loveyourself #GeneralParenting #Parenting #MomGuilt #Positivity

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Reality ........ #MentalHealth #mentalhealthmatters #Anxiety #Depression #Selfcare #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness

I have so many health issues and symptoms going on at the moment I don't know whether I'm coming or going !!! I have had Meds increased and also on new medication and trying to take some vitamins on top too to try help with some symptoms and issues .

I feel like I am a million different versions of myself daily as if it's not one symptom playing up it's another and at this point I feel like I've lost all control & awareness of it all some days .......

#MentalHealth #mentalhealthmatters #Anxiety #Depression #Selfcare #Melanoma #SkinCancer #Insomnia #longcovid #COVID19 #PTSD #Upallnight #CheckInWithMe #Positivity #Bekind #catheterlife #Catheter #loveyourself #Parenting #GeneralParenting

20 reactions 7 comments
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Really struggling with this .... #MentalHealth #mentalhealthmatters #Anxiety #Depression #Selfcare #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness

I am really struggling with getting used to the NEW me ! The reality if chronic pain & illness & struggling with the fact I am no longer rthe person I was before. I am no longer able to make plans in advance as I really do not know which way I will be when I wake up.Between the constant pain ,the fatigue,anxiety,restlessness,feeling overwhelmed, frustrated and trying to just get through a day it's just impossible. I no longer put pressure on myself for being unable to do this or feel guilty as I have enough going on without constantly putting myself down over things I CANT control.I am struggling at times though feeling frustrated that when I do things even someday just walking around the house or garden a little more I make my pain so much worse and with having this infection now over 3 months someday walking is just unbearable!!

I am struggling but I will keep trying and trying to be kind to myself and proud of myself if all I did was make it through another day 👌😊

#MentalHealth #mentalhealthmatters #Anxiety #Depression #Selfcare #Melanoma #SkinCancer #Insomnia #longcovid #COVID19 #PTSD #Upallnight #CheckInWithMe #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #InterstitialCystitis #Endo #Positivity #Bekind #Bekindtoyourself #Catheter

143 reactions 44 comments
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Your melanoma story

Hi, I just read your survival story of melanoma and the first thing I want to say is congratulations on getting it all in one fell swoop! I can only imagine that the whole ordeal was certainly stressful; congrats on weathering it emotionally as well!

One reason I’m writing is that I, too, have had an irregularly shaped dry patchy red spot on my left cheek. Years ago, it was “burnt” off, but returned. My mother’s sister had melanoma and my parents had several moles removed because they were suspicious. Because I have lost 40 pounds in 2 months along with other worrisome symptoms, I never thought about melanoma.

Thank you for taking the time to share your story. When I speak to my doctor in a few days, I will definitely ask him if we should look into this place on my face.

Thanks for “listening “ to this and also letting me share.

Ally Boyd

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Glad today is over ...... #MentalHealth #CheckInWithMe #Anxiety #Depression #Selfcare #ChronicPain

Well after a few days of the most debilitating anxiety I have had for a while due to that appointment today & the severe pain I've been in every day even just moving or walking with this catheter issues , I am just glad today is over !!I've done what and all I can do it's now waiting for results and it's out of my hands so I'm going to tey focus on the other problems and trying to get the help I need for them and try not be stressing to much over waiting for the results !! I feel like rubbish, I feel as though I look like death ,I feel as though I'm so drained with all this pain but tomorrow is a new day and I'm going to do my best to try have a good sleep ,wake up tomorrow and put my mind and focus on to other things .....

#Melanoma #MentalHealth #CheckInWithMe #Anxiety #Depression #Selfcare #PTSD #Positivity #Bekind #loveyourself #ChronicPain #SkinCancer #Endometriosis #COVID19 #longcovid #Catheter #InterstitialCystitis #UTI #AloneTogether #Parenting #GeneralParenting #Insomnia #Upallnight

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My anxiety is on another level today ..... #MentalHealth #CheckInWithMe #Anxiety #Depression #ChronicPain

From lastnight my anxiety has been horrendous!I just got a call regarding my appointment tomorrow & now it looks like due to recent blood work they are wanting to do the core biopsys on both lymph nodes either side of neck .🙈😭Due to the fact I will only be numb and not sedated and the fact that with one of my previous Melanoma surgeries being on my face/neck I have major ptsd with any needles nest my neck/face !! My stomach feels like a washing machine stuck on spin !!I feel so overwhelmed & just drained with it all ..I'd both need doen I'd rather they do them at same appointment instead of going back but my anxiety is still really real and really valid

#MentalHealth #ChronicPain #Anxiety #PTSD #Depression #Selfcare #Positivity #Bekind #Melanoma #SkinCancer #AloneTogether #Endometriosis #COVID19 #longcovid

89 reactions 24 comments