Memoryproblems

Being a spousal caregiver is probably the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. My husband was 36 when diagnosed with Parkinson’s. That was over 20 years ago! For most of time with PD, I still managed to work, but overtime his illness has progressed and I now care for him full time. It’s so hard to watch the person I love slowly change into a shell of what he used to be. Some days are so much harder than others. It can be a real challenge, especially now that he has memory problems on top of everything else. He also finds it so hard to stay awake in the afternoons and evenings, which can be very frustrating.

When I have moments of missing my old life, and feeling incredibly lonely that’s when all the emotions start and it can be a very horrible place to be. I can get resentful. Resentful of him and the illness, resentful of friends and family with their ‘normal married lives’ which leads me to feeling selfish and guilty for having those thoughts. I can become overwhelmed with sadness and burst into tears for no reason at all. Luckily I don’t have these feelings too often though.

At the end of the day, when I think this isn’t the life I had mapped out for myself, I’m reminded of the fact that this isn’t the life my husband would have chosen for himself either. We’re in this together, facing each new day and all that it brings.

A big shout out to all you caregivers out there. It isn’t easy. Not everyone realises that the CARER can be in need of a bit of care themselves from time to time and also feel the need for a bit of a moan too. Lol

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