Mentallillness

Today I finally plucked up the courage to see my old foster daughter for the first time since she moved out of my house/home/life.
She was with me for over 10 years as a disabled young child into an adult.
My illnesses became too much for me too cope looking after her anymore and she moved on suddenly (I became very Ill with glandular fever)
I had a breakdown and sort help, but I realise now I didnt deal with my old foster daughter's feelings very well. I just cut her out of my life. I did it as a way to protect myself.
Today I finally saw her. I went really well, I was anxious nervous, OCD had seriously set in and my place was pretty spotless. So I will be suffering later.
She loved her jewelry she had opened Christmas day so had the rest of the family. I hope I have mended some bridges with my sis (she is my foster sis)
she understands but doesnt .

it's so hard to protect yourself whilst suffering from #mental illness and #ChronicPain
#PsoriaticArthritis #trigminalneuralgia #Heartache #HighFunctioningAnxiety #SuicidalIdeation #ChronicDepression

#fedup #giveup #Mentallillness

Ever since I was a little I have had weight problems. I got picked on by a lot of kids in my school. I even had people gang up on me just because I was the biggest kid in my class. Since then I have been battling this inner demons telling me “You’re always gonna be fat & ugly!!” Now that I’m an adult it stuck with me. Earlier in my adult life I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes because of my poor eating habits. To make a long story short, I started taking care of myself. I ate right, exercise regularly and lost a total of 94 lbs. But deep down inside I still feel fat. I suffer from #BPD & #ADHD so my inner demons kept taunting me. I look in the mirror and felt disgusted. They don’t seem to go away and the demons stayed permanently in my head. I just wanted to feel content and happy with myself. Why is it so hard?! I feel like it’s never gonna be enough for me. #Weightissues #bullied #Noconfidence #DiabetesType2 #Mentallillness