Narcisist

Until his mental and psychological abuse started taking over. Now it feels worse than the physical abuse I received from other men. Bruises heal, words stay on replay in your mind forever. I had a full on breakdown not that long ago and some of the things he said to me after that were just too much. He calls me mean and nasty, he calls me a bitch, he's said I'm "a piece of work", a pathological liar... He said something about my body not long ago that makes me feel a million times more self conscious than I did before he ever said those words to me. He treats me more like a maid or that I'm an ordinary person and not his wife and constantly says he's going to leave and/or divorce me if I don't get our house "in order" and do it pretty much by myself because that's my "job" as a stay at home wife and mother. The depression, sadness and defeat I feel is the worse I have ever felt in my life. I don't know who this man is anymore. I cry every day, multiple times a day. The panic/anxiety attacks are unreal and I have to hide them the best I can because if I take even take my dr prescribed medication, he'll still call me an addict, but he can have alcohol...how the hell does that work?? I feel like an elephant is sitting on my chest 24 hours a day. Of course he can talk trash to me, be condescending, narcissistic, conniving, call me names, get in my face, have an attitude or yell at me but God forbid I stand up for myself...

#Narcisist #verbalabuse #Controlling #EmotionalAbuse #MentalHealth #selfconcious #Depression #Anxiety #PanicAttacks #worthless #unloved #PTSD

According to my husband. He lashed out on me because of something the “normal” person would have just left it alone. It’s almost everything I do, everything I say… he always has an answer for it. I’m a recovering addict and I’ve been clean now for well over 60 days. You’d think he’d be happy that I’m in my right mind and taking the prior steps to better myself but nope that’s not the case. I had some clean laundry to fold on the couch and had left it there for few days because sometimes it’s hard for me just to get out of bed because of my MDD and anxiety disorders so I try and do what I can nd he knows it. I thought when I turned my life around there would be no more excuses really to put me down but damn I was wrong. I have no friends, to him he doesn’t want me to make any mot likely for the fear of going back out. But I need emotional support. He’s supposed to be my anchor, my go to person, not the person who I’ve been married to for 14 years who I can’t even have a convo with him because what I say is pointless pretty much. I came on here to express my feelings. I have no one else. It’s been hard. I thought getting clean not only for myself woulkd be full of happiness but I was wrong. I’m currently unemployed due to health issues and he doesn’t mind me staying home but I’m beginning to think he’s got me right where he wants me, no matter if I do something right or wrong. Thanks for listening for this who took the time out of their day to hear me out. It means the world to me. #Narcisist #recoveringaddict #MajorDepressiveDisorder #Anxiety #PanicAttacks

How do you stop giving a narcissist power? I KNOW all I am doing is wrong but I feel like I can’t stop.... I’m addicted.
I’ll go 10 days them bam- I feel guilt and send a message... it’s rediculous and I know doesn’t get me anywhere because they believe I’m wrong and they are completely right. I just can’t stop! It’s infuriating!