Friday is the year anniversary of the day I lost everything. My best friend accidentally overdosed on Heroin laced with fentanyl and my life has not been the same since. Amanda was the only person who understood me. She was diagnosed with BPD like myself when we were teenagers and we grew up battling it together. She was my rock, my favorite person, my everything and now she’s gone. I never really understood grief until it hit me. It’s a physical pain, a hollowness. I don’t think life will ever be the same. I don’t find joy in the same things and my Borderline takes over and I spiral into a deep depression. My family doesn’t understand why I am still so upset.. “it’s been a year” they say... but that doesn’t matter to me. I’m alone and empty and dreading this Friday.