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A battle against mental health vs A disability with no Help because No one helps for any of it

I'm tired of years of doctor's and mental health the end they say it's depression..I have been like this all my life and now I face low vision with No help in sight especially now that I am lose my sight..I lost my mind years ago but no help and I have tried to be strong but now I lose my vision with no help..I can't work even if I wanted but you need help and there's no help for me ..I am a out cast #Readytogiveup st#Readytogiveup #tired

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#upfornoreason #DepressionAndMentalHealth #SuicidalIdeation

It's 3:00am here, so yesterday morning I woke up went to my seaking safety class, talked to my #AddictionRecovery specialist, and the #HealthNurse . "As you might think I'm an attention seaker" Ha I wish,my life is a F* mess. Well I finally opened up and let know what all I was going through & how I felt about #DependentPersonalityDisorder . They all told me they was #proud of the #progress I was making. Well apparently I'm not allowed to #haveagoodday . Well little later I have go get my license and insurance card I forgot. 1st The Dr decided close early 2nd My car wouldn't start I even tried getting a jump, no luck. 3rd Husband in #jail for #DomesticViolence on me. I let him know what all happened. So he starts going off on me yelling, cussing me out, telling me how F* stupid I was and how I always do stuff to make him mad. "Like ya I wanted to get stranded in the hot weather" so here I am awake from #Stress #Worried wish I could just sleep. "Not trying to OD" but I've taken 3 of my 400mg of #serequel I'm just so over this I'm just praying I'd pass out and #notwakeup I'm sorry #justventing #DepressiveDisorders #LifeProblems #Readytogiveup


#Depression#Anxiety#ChronicIllness#Readytogiveup #Suicide

I saw this on another site by Dr. Caroline Leaf. She is a very good authority on #MentalHealth .

Things You Can Control
1. How you treat yourself.
2. Who you surround yourself with.
3. What you say YES and No to.
4. How you spend your time.
5. When to ask for help.
6. How kind you are.
7. How often you say, "I love you."

So give it a shot and choose one of these to focus on today. Then try another one tomorrow! Make it a better day, both for you and someone else. Here (hear) to help you out. :)

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I’m exhausted

Between my anxiety, depression and chronic pain... I feel like their going to take over and just end me. They’re breaking my soul, little by little. Sometimes I feel like I can conquer the world and then I have a flare up and everything gets triggered and I just fall into this deep black abyss and go into “zombie” mode... sleep, take medication, try have a good day and repeat. But obviously there are times when I can’t even leave my home. I’m tired of this. I’m very much at the end of my rope #Depression #Anxiety #ChronicIllness #Readytogiveup


My world is crumbling and I’m the cause.

In June I discovered my wife was having an “emotional affair” with a former co-worker. This person worked in another state for the same company and they went from work related conversations to personal. They then become Facebook friends and began texting, and speaking outside of work. In the summer of 2017 my wife began a self improvement regime. She lost over 70 pounds, got her teeth whitened and straightened, she began tanning and buying new clothes. These things raised red flags, but I was admonished for being paranoid and untrusting. I was painted as the bad guy for my concerns. I tried to put it out of my mind, but other things kept coming up. She started drinking and going out with her friends. She became very protective of her phone, it was never out of her reach and she changed her password that she had had forever. I noticed this former co-worker “liking” only pictures of my wife on Facebook, never a like on family oriented pictures. Then in May of this year my wife got a surprise trip to Tampa Florida with her sister. I did some Facebook snooping and discovered this former co-worker now lived in the Tampa area and owned a coffee shop there. I asked her about it and again was lied to and made to feel like I was doing something wrong by even asking. Well less than a month later I saw my wife outside on her phone. She thought I was sleeping, so I snuck out and eavesdropped on the conversation. I heard things that crushed my soul, culminating with, “l love you”. I could hear the voice on the other end was male. I immediately confronted my wife who still tried to deny it. She finally admitted to the affair, but insisted it wasn’t physical, which really didn’t make it that much better. During that conversation I heard her talking about moving to where he lives. Well she begged forgiveness and seemed to really try to make things better. The problem is my previously mild depression and anxiety became more severe. I’m hyper vigilant and untrusting of everything. My depressions became so deep and dark, I really don’t know how I made it this far. Well four months later my wife is again spending a lot of time away. And my questions are not met with understanding due to what I went through, but again anger and denial. She says my distrust and “mopey” moods (how she refers to my depression), are going to drive her away, that my fear of what might happen, will in fact CAUSE my fears to come true. I don’t know if I will make it through my next descent into #Readytogiveup my darkness. I need help, but I don’t know how to access it 😢