Schizoaffective Disorder

I was diagnosed 10 years ago with BPD, but however I was not in a situation where I could research the diagnosis. I about 7 years ago stopped doing heroin. which I had used for so long to cover up and deal with any pain I was feeling. so about 5 years ago I started having the symptoms and actually dealing with my BPD. I did not realize what I was going through beforehand because I never had a chance to look into what BPD was. I was diagnosed at 7 years old as a major depressant, then I was diagnosed at 13 with schizoaffective disorder and bipolar. I never understood why I seem different then the people I knew who had these disorders. I didn't understand my own thought pattern, I didn't understand why I was always afraid of not knowing what my day held or where my significant other was. I always just knew that it was an insecurity of mine. I didn't know why things were the way they were. so 7 years ago when I came off of Heroin and I started dealing with things, I guess this disorder decided to take a major grip on my life. it's hard for me right now to deal with my day-to-day life because I am 39 years old, I am trying to figure out why I have these feelings of emptiness, feelings of worthlessness, always wondering why I feel like I hate my life but then there's nothing in my life to hate. I have a roof over my head, I have a husband who loves me and puts up with this bullshit of a mental disorder, I have a dog that I'm training to be a service dog so what does that leave to hate. it seems like I'm a rude, mean, inconsiderate little asshole. I don't know how to change it or where to get help. I don't want to be the person I am. I don't know how to deal with what's going on or what to even call what's going on. I'm asking the community for any insight or advise you all can give. I have been trying to get into therapy and DBT however I haven't been able to because I'm on Medicaid. #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Advice

My alarm goes off at 2am every night. It's the time for my night meds. 50 units of lantus. A plethora of nightly pills, at least 9 of them now. And my dulera inhaler. Pauley called me a good boy for taking everything on time. I get butterflies in my tummy every time she calls me a good boy. I don't have a praise kink, but I also need positive feedback from my partner.
#Relationships #MentalHealth #SchizoaffectiveDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #depressoespresso #imagoodboy

So apparently my BP and HR were very high and my nurse has been tracking it. She wants to get an updated list of my meds. Luckily Pauley has a spreadsheet of my meds, doctors, and procedures. I'll have her email my nurse.
The invega trinza injection hurts like hell and she kept apologizing. For the price of having 3 months with no symptoms I'm happy. I haven't heard voices in over 7 months. And I haven't wanted to kill myself in over 6 years.
If I had a car I'd try to become a peer support specialist. I've been told by many healthcare professionals that I would really do good work and I'm really good at listening and helping talk out solutions.
The one thing that she mentioned is coffee raises BP and HR which I knew. I probably drink maybe 30-40 oz per day. But I haven't had any coffee yet today.
I didn't bring my walker to my appointment. I was out of breath and gasping by the time I got up the stairs to the 2nd floor where I live. It's just 17 steps but I have so much going on with my health. It might as well been a mile.
I am craving fried green tomatoes and fried okra and fried cabbage with bacon and OMG fried smashed plantains! Southern/Jamaican food makes my soul happy.
My arm is gonna be achy for a few days. Nowhere near the pain I get in my hips.
#PTSD
#BackPain #FemoralAcetabularImpingement
#SchizoaffectiveDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

My son is 35 and was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder ~8 years ago. He’s had a handful of major psychotic episodes, two that ended in short hospital stays. The last one was severe, it terrified him so much that he lost his sight for months. He worked really hard with us (his parents) and his medical providers to regain his vision. Right after, he started taking his meds without being reminded, he decided to go back to school, found a part-time job, and talked openly of his future. I went out of town for 5 days a couple of months ago to babysit my grandsons while my daughter had surgery. When I got home I noticed almost immediately that he was having mild symptoms. He admitted he might have missed a day or two of his meds. Since then, he quit school, quit work, and has grown increasingly more irritable with me. He won’t voluntarily take his meds, and resents the fact that I insist he take them. He often plays a game where he’ll throw a pillow at me on the sofa or pretend to put it over my face. I’ll laugh it off and say “Don’t smother the mother”. But tonight he put it over my face and actually applied a bit of pressure. I’m not afraid of my son, but should I be concerned?

I have schizo-affective disorder, PTSD, Anxiety, T1D, and addiction. Has anyone had a bad reaction to pot? I have been sober for 1,560 days over four years from hard drugs, but I rationalize the usage of pot because it is not a hard drug and it is better than my old drug of choice which was speed yet pot and I don't mix well, yet I can't seem to quit and it is increasing my mental health symptoms...any thoughts on this?

#SchizoaffectiveDisorder #PTSD #Anxiety #Diabetes #Addiction #MentalHealth