Having cerebral palsy means a lot of things. For me, it means having trouble walking; unsteady balance; anxiety because of bullying, falling risks, potential treatment options, etc; and being misunderstood because I truly don’t “fit the mold”.
Cerebral palsy also includes having a higher risk for having disorders like scoliosis and central precocious puberty.
(According to my orthopedist, I have a very, very mild form of scoliosis.)
I also have had to deal with precocious puberty.
I was so young when my hormones “woke up” that I didn’t even realize it was different from how it was “supposed” to go. I was three years old, which is extremely young for that kind of stuff, especially because puberty happens for a girl when she is nine to thirteen.
Added to my list of doctors was a pediatric endocrinologist, who treats hormone-related issues of the endocrine system. Being a fairly private person, the examinations were hard to take—and being young, I had no idea why a stranger had to examine certain areas of the body.
I was told that I was “growing too fast” and had to go to the endocrinologist because of that. X-rays and shots were two of the treatments I underwent.
A third treatment was surgery. An FDA-approved drug implant called Histrelin implant (Supprelin LA) would be surgically inserted into my arm. The function of Supprelin is to stop the sex hormones.
I’d gone through surgery about four times before, but none that I really remembered. A hard part for me was being apart from my twin sister and waking up really early to go to the hospital, but the hardest part was having to go to the operating room without my parents.
My surgeon was (and is) incredibly nice, but I have separation anxiety. As I counted to ten, I remember a tear falling down my cheek. As I got a little older, I remember being afraid that I was going to die. The surgeries were never long, about thirty minutes to an hour, but I was scared.
When I was younger, kids were rowdy and the likelihood of them jolting or brushing my arm was extremely high. My arm was always sensitive after surgery, which caused me to isolate myself from the other kids to ensure I wasn’t hurt.
In the long term, my friendships didn’t suffer deliberately. I was different because of my CP and because I was experiencing so many changes that other kids hadn’t even heard of yet. I was always insecure about being so much taller than other kids, at least for a while, and the fact that my legs wouldn’t mold into “criss-cross applesauce” like my classmates’.
I considered my left side my “bad side” because my left arm is sensitive due to the implant surgeries and my left leg is tighter and weaker, often causing me to trip. My insecurity about my left side has not faded completely. I depend on my right side more because my right arm doesn’t hurt and my right leg is much more cooperative. Aside from the challenges in altering my mentality regarding my left side, going through surgery every year was both mentally and physically hard on me. I missed school for a day each school year, which led to make-up work, and my arm was sore for a while. I couldn’t get my left arm wet for a few days after surgery, which was challenging because I often use both hands to execute tasks.
Not to mention, it was hard to explain why I missed school because I didn’t understand the function of the implant.
Most teenagers haven’t had the experiences I’ve had, both with cerebral palsy and other things. Most teens my age haven’t gone through twelve surgeries. Some kids my age haven’t even had surgery.
My experiences differ from others because, for a while, I looked physically older. When my class was watching puberty videos, I had already experienced most things. I thought it was weird that other girls didn’t know some of the changes because I thought every girl went through puberty when she was three. In the end, it never really made a difference.
The summer I turned eleven, I had my last surgery to remove the Supprelin implant. I was nervous because I didn’t know how I would change.
Aside from getting one of the hugest bruises I’ve ever seen on my arm, I was fine. There’s really no evidence of what I went through unless you count my scar and its scar tissue.
My parents were told that I might not grow as tall because precocious puberty limits height in the long term, but right now I’m only an inch or two shorter than my sister. I’m having more physical therapy (this time on my arm) because it throbs randomly sometimes. I have quite the scar tissue buildup from six surgeries on the same arm, but I’m gaining more strength.
My experiences have made me so much stronger. The reason for writing this article was not to complain or to be pitied, but to talk about a possible aspect of CP that often gets overlooked. Precocious Puberty and other hormone disorders can happen as a result of cerebral palsy. I know it can be embarrassing, but I think we need to talk about it.
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