PTSD Support and Recovery

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    My week from Hell (carbon monoxide poisoning) #Anxiety #PTSD #PTSDSupportAndRecovery #Depression #poisoning

    Apologies, I feel I need to get this off my chest with what I have had to go through this week. It may be long so don’t feel obliged to read it all I just need to get everything off my chest.

    On Saturday night our carbon monoxide alarm went off. We didn’t even know what it was, so we were looking all around the house for the alarm. Realising it was the carbon monoxide alarm we immediately opened all the windows and went to sit in the car, panicking about what would happen next. We searched up the alarm sound to see what the alarm meant. It wasn’t sounding continuously, just beeping every 30 seconds or so. On numerous websites it told us that it was most likely the batteries running out, which was strange considering it had only been installed in the last week. We went back into the house and just left all the windows open all night, are in mind it was snowing, it was absolutely freezing but we were worried about our safety.

    The next say (Sunday) it went off again so this time we called the fire service who checked it was safe for us to go back in and turned off all our gas with the help of a gas safety engineer. We contacted our landlords to try and get some emergency heating or someone out to inspect it was safe. We could not contact them, they had no emergency number. So we wrapped up warm and sat through it, the temperature well below freezing with only blankets and layers to try to keep warm.

    The following day (Monday) our landlords informed us they would be unable to provide an engineer that same day and that they were possibly going to be able to get someone out for the following day but there was no guarantees. With my husband working permanently from home, we needed a solution more urgently, so we provided our own engineer. But the advise before we could provide it from our landlords was to just turn our gas back on because it would “probably be fine”. The engineer found a hole in our boiler and a tree blocking the exhaust. We were being poisoned by our boiler and our landlords appeared not to care.

    I have been ill since I moved in. We have slowly been poisoned since we moved in. Our engineer confirmed that since the boiler was fitted it had been slowly emitting low levels of carbon monoxide. We have lived there since February. I was really ill in September and I had no idea why. I had chronic fatigue (I was literally awake a maximum of 5 hours in a day for over a week), nausea, headaches, aching limbs, dizziness, and after numerous tests no one could say why. I know now that it was carbon monoxide poisoning. I could have died.

    After a stressful trip to A&E, a separate company fixing our boiler and cutting down our tree, and a huge amount of fear for our safety, this week has been incredibly stressful. And not only that, nobody appears to be taking us seriously, we could have died. This was such a close call. We are still on edge in our home. This week has been pure hell.

    Thank you for giving me the space to get this off my chest.

    9 reactions 6 comments

    I am FRUSTRATED! Could use support

    I have been responding to other people's posts but I felt this morning t that I need some encouragement. It's not my normal thing to ask for help. Sometimes I felt like I've always had to do life alone and still need to. So here it goes. I am planning an event for domestic violence awareness and prevention month which is in October and even though I posted it some places I didn't even get a thumbs up or any sort of comments or encouragement. I have had some people that tell me to not let it get me down and continue with my mission. The event will focus on the domestic balance and effects on children. I'm not asking people for money just for emotional support. Sometimes I feel like that is too much. I feel like I'm rambling here but I also feel like I'm hitting a brick wall with nowhere else to turn. People always react when I post pictures of meals and my service animal yet it seems like when I try to do something about the abuse I suffered I just get further ashamed and left alone. #CPTSD #ChronicDepression #Selfcare #Perception #PTSDSupportAndRecovery


    September Stings

    On Thursday I had what I call a PTSD panic attack. I got a flashback of a mental hospital stay and grabbed a wash cloth( stronger and more absorbable than tissues) and ran to my bed. Then in a child voice I kept repeating "Mommy I don't feel well. I want to go home!" The scariest part is I knew I was home. My home with my wife and dog. I don't suffer from MPD. I realized what I was doing and used mediation to ground myself. I just wish there were better ways to prevent this type of event. Thanks for reading. Any reactions, advice, or moral support would be greatly appreciated. #MentalHealth #PTSDSupportAndRecovery


    Honestly feel like I can’t do it anymore. I feel him in me. I feel him. I feel him. I know it’s not happening now but I can feel it. I feel so disgusting. I don’t know when this will end. I hate it so much. It’s been more than a year now and I still can’t take it. Help me


    New to Group

    I suffer from CPTSD from the many hospitalization in my past 35 years. The most recent was in May of 2020. I have nightmare, flashbacks, sensory and disconnection issues. I wanted to introducing myself. I am optimistic about getting support an learning from this group. Thanks!! #PTSDSupportAndRecovery #MensHealth


    Every day is a rollercoaster

    #sad #happy #Therapy #Trauma #alone #scared #future #Grief #PTSDSupportAndRecovery #CPTSD #ChildhoodEmotionalAbuse

    Why is it so hard to function one day and then the next day I (meaning today) I took care of several calls to make appointments had therapy... But therapy (Virtual) brought me down again. I cried like a baby, I Imagine it was not pleasant for my therapist to I want to go back to bed now but I will try to fight the urge.



    After writing that letter of forgiveness I feel more at peace. I feel like I am getting closer to closure. I hope you all can find peace too. Peace is what I was searching for for a long time. I just wanted to share that it is possible to be happy and heal after abuse. I am not saying I am fully healed but I have come a long way since all those years ago. There is hope friends, always. I hope I can inspire someone today. I still have my bad days but they are less frequent than before. #PTSDSupportAndRecovery .

    1 comment

    Trauma and weight gain

    I've been doing a lot of research on this subject. I want to be healthier and that includes my physical health. What I've been reading is quite interesting. Besides a healthier diet, what else do you suggest? #weightgain #Trauma #PTSDSupportAndRecovery

    1 comment

    I have been struggling today because I remembered something I suppressed during an early morning flashback on the way to work. Any advice on how to process this new memory of the trauma? #PTSDSupportAndRecovery #MentalHealth #Memories #AssaultSurvivors #SexualAbuseSurvivors


    Episode Change

    I feel like I’m going into a major depression episode with my Bipolar Disorder. I’m tired and lack motivation. Starting to slack on basic chores. Any tips on how to get through this? #BipolarDisorder #PTSDSupportAndRecovery #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder plus it seems to trigger the other two. I’ll get triggered and then I’ll act out.

    1 comment