PTSD Support and Recovery

We don't talk about this often but starting over and healing can hurt. Learning to reparent and forgive yourself comes with many rewards, but it can come with what seems like the cost of pain.

The pain is temporary, but it's hard not to get lost in it especially when it gets unbearable.

Healing sometimes require pinpointing where the pain started. It's not to wish what you could have done differently, but it's to thank the past for teaching hard lessons and acknowledging that you are human. And as humans, we are flawed.

I never fully closed any of my chapters which is probably why I continued to have repeated behaviors, patterns, and even experiences. Life will continue to bring you the same lessons until you've finally had enough. And, boy.. I've had enough.

At 33 soon to be 34, I am finding that everything is finally catching up to me. I can't keep running away forever. At some point, we have to stop & realize that we hold the key to free ourselves from prison.

I hope whoever is reading this understands that there is light at the end of the tunnel. I'm finding that no matter how dark and frightening it gets, you have to just keep on walking with the trust and belief that the light will find you.

#CheckInWithMe #BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Relationships #Healing #Anxiety #Bpdrecovery #MentalHealth #PTSD #PTSDSupportAndRecovery #PostTraumaticStressDisorder

How do I let go of grudges? It is literally the death of me and the reason why none of my relationships worked. I feel the constant need to make people feel the way they make me feel and to punish them.

I don't want to live like this anymore.

#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Relationships #Healing #Anxiety #Bpdrecovery #MentalHealth #PTSD #PTSDSupportAndRecovery #PostTraumaticStressDisorder

I have made several posts about the situation with my son so I won’t explain that again. On February 25th we go to court to remove him as my guardian. I have petitioned the court to let me be my own guardian again. Even with the complications from my current struggles with insomnia, I am capable of making sound decisions for myself. My morals and values are intact. I am very anxious to get this over with.

Speaking of the insomnia - I sleep less than 3 hours per 24. At least 2-3 nights a week I don’t even get into bed. I am following a healthy sleep guide that says bed only when sleepy. I started having bizarre episodes where my whole body jumps as if I was startled awake - but I was not sleeping in the first place. When I ran it by my PCP and now also my Psychiatrist, they both mentioned researching microsleeps. According to my research, they start when you are so sleep deprived that your organs are in danger of damage and/or failure. The human body needs to go into regular sleep cycles to rejuvenate all of the body systems regularly. I am going to be started on a new sleeping med called Belsomra when the prior authorization goes through.

I have also started to take some food extracts to assist meds I am already taking. Replace deficiencies revealed in blood work. And hopefully replace some prescription meds. I take 127 prescribed pills every day! The only thing both doctors asked is that #1 I only start 1 new extract a week. And #2 I notify each of them when I start something new so they can help track any side effects and/or benefits.

I have so many physical and mental health based dxs that I need to address. Doing it one at a time with single ingredient extracts when possible. With my autoimmune disorders, it can cause a different reaction or need a higher dose to accomplish anything. I am being careful and checking with my care team before I even purchase any extracts. The way I am doing this is very expensive. But how can I put a limit on my health and even my existence. I need to find some sort of quality of life- something I don’t think I have ever had. Anyway, this is the direction I have chosen at this time. I hope and pray for positive effects.

Those are the major updates I have to offer at this point in time… #Insomnia #MajorDepression #foodextracts #Court #microsleeps #Sleepmed #Guardianship #autoimmunedisorders #sounddecisions #organrisk #consultdoctor #Update #numerousdiagnoses #physicalhealth #MentalHealth #PTSDSupportAndRecovery #healthysleephygiene

Life is so unpredictable.

When things are going well, it feels almost like a sense of invincibility. But when things are tough, it feels like I'm battling demons.

Two weeks ago, I let my negative thoughts and insecurities drive me to my lowest point. I lost complete control over my emotions and ended up putting a hole through my apartment door. More things happened but I'm far too ashamed to write it out. All I know is... I'm so sorry.

I had my therapy session yesterday and I couldn't stop crying. I asked why am I so angry all of the time? It's not really who I am. My therapist told me that anger is a secondary emotion, and that I use it to protect myself from hurt and abandonment.

Anger is so draining. I don't want to be angry anymore.

Is there anyone that can relate?

#TheMighty #CheckInWithMe #Forgiveness #BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Relationships #Healing #Anxiety #Bpdrecovery #MentalHealth #PTSD #PTSDSupportAndRecovery #PostTraumaticStressDisorder

I had a teacher who encouraged the.free.writing I was.doimg in english class during 8th grade, who actually "praised" the writing to the class by reading entries aloud and telling my.classmated that "this" was the sort of thing he was tryimg to get us to tap into, the free writing associations of the person who resides submeged within our self. This has been part of the impetus throughout.my life to keep up with exploring and explaining what i feel in early recovery.when emotions come back, when withdrawal and.struggles are real, and moments are soaked in suffering even to simply exist, or when i domt.*want to exist. For this reason i name Mr. Porcaro, wherever he is for the.positive encouraging presence in the.life of a hurting kid, and hooe that anyone.who reads this may remember the.people who so affected them and how they did so and recall how to use those.encouragements to rebuild theirself.#PTSDSupportAndRecovery #freewriting

Hi Friends,

It has been exactly one month since I last updated everyone with what's going on in my life. First off, 2025 happened so fast but is off to a great start.

I usually only write when I'm puzzled or going through something traumatic in my life, but I want to shift that narrative and also write when I'm doing well. Although it's been a constant struggle coping with BPD & PTSD, I find that it gets easier once I've accepted that no one day is going to be the same. The ups and downs will happen - but knowing and believing that things will work out calms my soul.

My relationship has been going well. My boyfriend and I are now 1 year and 2 months into our relationship. Last year was challenging because we fought nearly every day. Now I know it was because we were still learning each other & were dealing with our own traumas. However, we've both found a happy medium. We've been practicing healthy communication and are way more supportive and respectful of each other now.

As for therapy, I was consistent for several weeks but had to stop. Come to find out, my health insurance was cancelled back in September and I was slapped with a $700 invoice from the mental health clinic. Not fun... lol. But I'm not worried. Everything will be resolved soon and hopefully I can start seeing my therapist once a week or perhaps twice a month.

I also got hired for a second job. Not only do I work a full-time job as a Junior Cybersecurity Analyst, but I will now be working part-time as a Pharmacy Technician. I'm trying not to overwork myself and get as much rest as I can, but I find that being busy and doing things that benefit my life in a positive way makes me feel good about myself.

I have also been doing well with being sober and even started to work out atleast twice a week. My goal is to turn it to 4 times a week, but I know that will take some time.

Overall, I want to thank The Mighty once again for giving me an outlet and access to a community that shows so much empathy and love.

You will hear from me again.

As for now, take care.

#TheMighty #CheckInWithMe #Forgiveness #BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Relationships #Healing #Anxiety #Bpdrecovery #MentalHealth #PTSD #PTSDSupportAndRecovery #PostTraumaticStressDisorder

Yes am an introvert not the isolating one but I feel comfortable away from people but all the time I want to be in a relationship am afraid of being single am afraid of feeling lonely am afraid of opening my phone and there is no one special who is thinking about me . So how I heal is one breakup to another relationship .Is it that I question my worth is it that I create my value by having someone besides me
#MentalHealth #PTSDSupportAndRecovery