PTSD Support and Recovery

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Letter to my Inner Child

Dear Gloria,

For 33 years, you held onto pain and walked around with open wounds that nobody knew of. Wounds of a little girl who just wanted her daddy. You looked for him in everybody, and even in the shadows.

You spent so many nights crying and wondering why people continuously hurt you. All you wanted was protection and safety, and I'm sorry that so many people have failed you.

I'm sorry you were so lonely.

You are truly so beautiful inside and out. You are deserving of happiness, and of all good things that are coming your way. Your resilience is one of a kind. One day, you will mother children who will learn so much from you and will appreciate you for being so kind, loving, and strong.

You are free now, my love. Unbind yourself. Spread your wings and let yourself fly.

Love yourself always.

Yours truly.

#TheMighty #CheckInWithMe #Forgiveness #BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Relationships #Healing #Anxiety #Bpdrecovery #MentalHealth #PTSD #PTSDSupportAndRecovery #PostTraumaticStressDisorder #Selflove

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Check-In

Hi friends, my life has been a whirlwind since I last posted on here. On my last post, I wrote about Healing Father Wounds because it finally occurred to me that a lot of the dysfunctions, miscommunication, and disagreements in my current relationship has everything to do with my father wounds, and my boyfriend's mother wounds. It brought awareness to our relationship and made me want to learn more about myself and why I behave or think the way I do. Alot of the information was taken from Chat GPT and google search, but still very informative and helpful.

I'm officially back into therapy and have had two sessions so far. I unfortunately missed one because I was bedridden due to depression, but when I communicated this to my therapist - she was very understanding. I made sure to let her know that the whole point of seeking therapy is to not focus solely on my relationship but to dig deep and confront the root of all causes as to why or how I am the way I am today. I learned that it all started from my relationship with my father, and it never really occurred to me that I have been angry at him my whole life. I used to think it was my mother that I was angry at. I realize now that I took all of my anger out on her growing up when she didn't deserve any of that. Afterall, she tried her best. Right now, I am in the beginning stages of forgiveness. For the first time in my life, I feel hopeful and ready to start healing that very part of me that has been missing for so long.

As for my relationship, both my boyfriend and I have decided to take some time to reflect and work on ourselves. He is currently on a two-week cruise for work. We talk every single day and have been practicing gratitude. I can't lie though. I miss him terribly. We are going on day 5 now, and the first 4 days have been hell. I've been crying and moping around because I miss him so much. My separation anxiety and abandonment issues get the best of me but luckily, he does the best he can to check-in with me multiple times a day. I'll keep my head up and remain strong.

Thanks for reading.

#TheMighty #CheckInWithMe #Forgiveness #BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Relationships #Healing #Anxiety #Bpdrecovery #MentalHealth #PTSD #PTSDSupportAndRecovery #PostTraumaticStressDisorder

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Help

Why is it that as someone struggling immensely with PTSD and BPD do I find myself always trying to heal others instead of myself? The partners I choose tend to always overshadow my needs, and I always feel neglected & alone.

I am fighting to survive at this point.

Somebody please tell me I'm not alone.

#TheMighty #CheckInWithMe #Forgiveness #BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Relationships #Healing #Anxiety #Bpdrecovery #MentalHealth #PTSD #PTSDSupportAndRecovery #PostTraumaticStressDisorder

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Check-In

Hi friends, I hope everyone is doing well. It has been several weeks since I wrote a post here on The Mighty. My last check-in was 3 weeks ago, and it was before I left to Arizona to celebrate my one-year anniversary with my boyfriend.

Since then, I haven't been doing well mentally so please pray for me. I don't want to go into too many details. However, I'll confess that I have crashed out several times. It got so bad that I injured my right arm from punching the kitchen counter. I've been experiencing chronic pains in my chest and constant migraines. I'm recognizing that I am spiraling, and something definitely needs to change.

On the brighter side, I am finally back in therapy. Interestingly enough, I was diagnosed with PTSD & so I've been researching more about that. If you have any advice to destress and decompress, don't hesitate to share.

I'm going to end it here. I'll write soon.

#TheMighty #CheckInWithMe #Forgiveness #BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Relationships #Healing #Anxiety #Bpdrecovery #MentalHealth #PTSD #PTSDSupportAndRecovery #PostTraumaticStressDisorder

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Placing the power in your hands to practice how to improve your wellbeing

Since this is a Practice, and in a practice, we must build upon our knowledge—here, I am going to expand upon my 1st post about the Beginner’s Mind, the first post of this new group - click to join and not miss the interconnected 9 attitudes of the wellbeing mindset of Mindfulness.

There is an emphasis on the importance of cultivating this mindset in all aspects of life.

Has anyone practiced this Beginner’s Mind or think that you will give it a try?
Any thoughts about this particular part of the whole?

Let’s break it down again:

Holding onto a particular belief limits the mind.
We accumulate a lot of conditioning along the way.
We tend to create a world where our opinions and beliefs are fixed.
As soon as we are attached to that one side, we shut off the other side-we don’t see it or hear it.

Only when we are willing to show up in each moment with a fresh, curious mind, willing to listen, knowing that possibly everything we believed and thought -that perhaps that’s not true. And, if we can maintain that freshness of mind, called a beginner’s mind—

then we can create a space where the mind can absorb, can respect the way other people think— take in new perspectives, and all of a sudden, we start to see not only a transformation in our mind, but a greater sense of calm, of clarity, and also a positive change in our relationships.

By letting go of preconceived ideas, expectations, and attachments, we can fully engage with each moment, experiencing life as it truly is, rather than through the filter of our thoughts and beliefs.

Key concepts:

Openness to possibilities:
The mind of the beginner is empty, free of the habits of the expert, ready to accept, to doubt, and open to all the possibilities.

No attachment to outcomes:
By approaching situations with a beginner's mind, one is less likely to be fixated on achieving a specific result, allowing for greater flexibility and adaptability.

And, the extremely critical skill of learning How to focus on the present moment:
This mindset encourages a deep awareness of the current experience, without getting caught up in past regrets or future anxieties; which we all know the negative consequences this has on our mental health.

We have to help ourselves to not be stuck dwelling on either the "what could have been" or the "what might happen", so that we can instead stay living in and fully enjoying the actual present moment. This is all a part of our role in managing our depression and anxiety and not letting these win and take from us and our potential and our lives that we can have.

It’s important to remember that all of this is not an achievement to be attained but rather a continuous process of self-discovery and self-transformation.

#MentalHealth #ChronicIllness #Mindfulness #MajorDepressiveDisorder #BipolarDisorder #BipolarDepression #MoodDisorders #Depression #Anxiety #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #Cancers #ChronicFatigue #AnorexiaNervosa #Selfcare #Addiction #Fibromyalgia #ChronicPain #Selfharm #Grief #SuicideAttemptSurvivors #SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts #Suicide #Trauma #Agoraphobia #ADHD #SocialAnxiety #SocialAnxietyDisorder #PTSDSupportAndRecovery #PTSD #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #Headache #Migraine #ChronicFatigueSyndrome #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Disability #IfYouFeelHopeless #EatingDisorders #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #MightyTogether #Caregiving #CheckInWithMe #DistractMe

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Learning emotions

Started learning about my emotions on the advice of my therapist last week. Using an emotion wheel and app to start gain some emotional knowledge. Hating it. Today I bounced around like a bl**dy pinball through half the negative emotions known to man... I hate that there is something inside me so changeable and unpredictable. On top of all that I have no understanding of how to communicate my feelings so every attempt blows up in my face and hurts the people I'm talking to. F*ck this sh*t.

#PTSDSupportAndRecovery #Abuse #PTSD #Depression #Anxiety #emotionalimmaturity

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Learning to make emotional effort

Learned this week that my parents were both emotionally immature, meaning I never learned to recognise my own emotions and needs. Spending this week reflecting on my emotions using an emotion wheel. Realised this morning (with the help of a brilliant book) that I really struggle to give my wife emotional airtime where she feels listened to and validated. Really want to learn but there's a lot of past experiences with my parents getting in the way. Not quite sure where to begin. Managed to give her emotionally responsive attention once for a few minutes today, but then I had to shut her out again. It was all too much. Spent most of the rest of today feeling sad, angry and fearful all at once.

#emotionalimmaturity #PTSDSupportAndRecovery #SocialAnxiety #Anxiety

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Confused, pt. 3 - eureka!

Listening to some music this morning, I had that feeling of losing myself again and I realised what it is: since childhood I've been using music to dissociate and escape from the threatening environment I grew up in as well as the disturbing emotions that I felt in that environment. It was an understandable adaptive response, but over the years I trained the habit so much that it's become automatic. Some PTSD abuse survivors turn to alcohol, some to drugs, some zone out, I've been using music.

...And I don't want to do it anymore. Its a good sign: I feel safe enough in my current environment to want to be more present. Also the dissociative process itself has become frightening for me - another good sign: I value my self enough not to want to keep receding from it.

Question is: where do I want to go from here?...

Shall I leave behind classical music for another genre? Possibly for now. I find jazz interesting and enjoyable, and it doesn't produce the dissociative state on the whole for me. Curating a jazz playlist might help me to practice choosing music I like that doesn't induce dissociation. But ultimately I think I now need to learn to divert the dissociative impulse. I think I have a new goal for my therapist!...

#PTSD #PTSDSupportAndRecovery #DissociationDisorders

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Art class

Had fun at art class last night. Had fun drawing trees. For the first time, after a fruitless attempt to draw a tree from my phone, I stopped trying and started playing about, drawing trees from my mind instead. Particularly proud of this one. It reminds me of EH Shephard's 100 acre wood illustrations (though not as complex - he was a brilliant artist ☺️)

#ArtTherapy #perfectionism #Depression #Anxiety #PTSD #PTSDSupportAndRecovery #MightyArtRoom #ThePencilCase

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