Separation Anxiety

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Separation Anxiety
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  • About Separation Anxiety
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    Chasing Ghosts

    <p>Chasing Ghosts</p>
    4 people are talking about this
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    Home Alone; The night my separation anxiety was born

    I’m sharing this story because I have recently become aware that it could have something to do with my diagnosis.  Whether or not it does, it is still a childhood #Trauma that I ‘survived’, but not without some lasting effects.

    Being home alone at night is one thing when you’re an adult, try it when you’re 4!  It was a very cold , dark night back in the winter of 1979.  I forget the exact date, sometime in January, I think.  My mother had tucked me into bed and kissed me goodnight.  A few hours later, about 2-3a.m., I awoke, as usual.  This was a common thing for me, I found myself at the foot of my parents bed quite often.  But this night was different; my parents weren’t in their bed!  I immediately began screaming for my mom. “Mommy, mommy!!”  No answer.  I was scared out of my wits! I ran around the pitch black house screaming and turning on every lamp and light switch that I could reach. I went to my older brother Greg’s bedroom door and banged and banged on it; no answer!  I remember being terrified beyond belief; I was just 4 years old and home alone in the middle of the night!

    There was about 6 inches of snow on the ground and more lightly falling, it was probably 20-30 degrees outside, typical of a Michigan winters’ night.  I had rationalized in my young mind that my mom must have gone to Hamady’s (out local grocery store).  My mother practically lived there.  She ran to Hamady’s on a daily basis for bread or milk, and I always went with her.  And at that moment I decided that’s where I was going to look for her!  I frantically ran to my bedroom to get dressed.  I found a pair of cut-off jean shorts and a t-shirt, that I put on backwards.  I tried to be brave as I prepared to head out into the cold to walk the 2 mile walk to the grocery store;  all the while crying hysterically.

    Just as I opened the big, heavy front door, I saw headlights coming up the driveway.  My mother flew out of the car and cradled me in her arms.  My dad, on the other hand, wanted to kill my brother!  He had been given strict orders not to shut his bedroom door just in case I woke up.  My mother had gone to the airport to pick my father up from a late night business flight.  I sobbed for most of the rest of that night and I don’t think I’ve ever been the same since.

    After that incident, I became very attached to my mother; So much so that I was kicked out of preschool, because I cried for her the whole time.  When I started kindergarten, I became attached to a playmate of mine, and even though she was in kindergarten also, she was my ‘surrogate’ mom.  I used to tell my mom that when she died I’d bury her under the house so I could sleep next to her.  Needless to say, my attachment was slightly unhealthy.  I wonder if I have suffered permanent damage from that experience.  When you read this, it may not seem like a big #Trauma , but to a 4year old little girl, being home alone was a nightmare!

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    So glad to have my sunshine back🥰

    <p>So glad to have my sunshine back🥰</p>
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    This Chapter

    My husband and I have been married for two and a half years. When we were first dating, I was going through bipolar episodes but we didn’t know that’s what it was at the time. We got engaged and got married. Eventually I got on medication after my first major episode and at that time we had been married 4 months. This was right when Covid hit. Ever since getting out of the hospital 2 yrs ago, I haven’t wanted to go anywhere without my husband- except for the last month or so I’ve made little steps like doing more things independently.i haven’t worked in 2 yrs so I’m not providing. I just feel like the worst wife ever because of my anxieties, phobias, and challenges. Like I’m a kid in an adult body or something….I do not feel as valuable as I once did. I’m extremely insecure and I always seem to need to ask a question while feeling dumb. I wish I was confident and sophisticated and really smart. I wish I wasn’t clumsy and moody all the time.

    # Separation Anxiety # Bipolar Disorder # phobias
    # shame # guilt # Mental Health challenges

    8 people are talking about this
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    Emotional roller coaster today #emotional #Depression # anxiety

    Last night I had gotten into an argument with my husband! We have been going to a marriage counseling for 2 weeks now! We have to work on asking each other how our day was! I had asked him how his was. Then he had asked me how mine was I told I was having a good day! Which is far fetched these days! I told him about my therapy session and that it went well! Then I figured that I would tell him that our daughter had a bad morning ( she suffering from separation anxiety with daddy) . Mind you he had asked me the day before about her day and how was she going back to school after school break. Well he turned back to me after I had told him about her having a hard time . With arrogance in his voice he said well there’s nothing I could do about it. That just shattered my mood for the rest of the night. When he had asked me if I had checked the bank statement that night . I turned and said nope and I don’t care too either cause there is nothing I could do about it! Hoping he got the hint!! When he is home I feel like I have to walk around on egg shells. I spent last night and today trying to get me out of this emotional roller coaster that he had put me in! I am stuck in this funk of a mood !

    Kaden M (he/they)

    Borderline Personality Disorder or Autism? How About Both?

    It is indeed possible to have a personality disorder and be on the autism spectrum. Many of us autistics have a background loaded with trauma, especially those who grew up undiagnosed or with an intersectional minority identity (LGBTQIA+, BIPOC). There are also overlapping features between borderline personality disorder and autism spectrum disorder. Here are some overlapping features that come from not only research, but my experience of living with both conditions: 1. I struggle with regulating my emotions, mood swings, anxiety, and irritability. 2. I sometimes feel lost in my identity, especially from growing up with undiagnosed neurodivergent conditions (autism, ADHD, learning disabilities, for example). 3. I have social challenges that I have learned to overcome via masking. Both conditions can be associated with inappropriate “oversharing” and excessively focusing on oneself in order to make connections. I don’t see this as entirely a bad thing, although I do work on making sure my conversations are mutual and reciprocal for those I talk with. 4. Sensory and concentration issues can stem from both conditions. When I say “sensory issues,” I mean both sensory seeking and sensory avoidance: being both underwhelmed and overwhelmed by sensory input. 5. Comorbidities galore! Autism often coexists with OCD, ADHD, Tourette syndrome, depression, and anxiety. Borderline personality disorder is often seen with these conditions too, as well as bipolar disorder and PTSD. Let’s not forget anxiety, eating disorders, and substance use, which are common for autistics and those with borderline. 6. I have had attachment issues and separation anxiety all my life. I don’t know which “disorder” this is a product of, but I know they are common with both. Are you autistic and/or neurodivergent? Have you been diagnosed with a personality disorder, such as borderline personality disorder? Regardless of your diagnosis, both disorders have stigma. Let’s end the shame and stigma by talking about it!

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    Which type of anxiety do you experience most?

    <p>Which type of <a href="" class="tm-embed-link  tm-autolink health-map" data-id="5b23ce5f00553f33fe98d1b4" data-name="anxiety" title="anxiety" target="_blank">anxiety</a> do you experience most?</p>
    30 people are talking about this