My whole life I have struggled with mental health problem and recovery as well as domestic violence
eThese issues have made me feel like I couldn't feel safe with anyone #lovve #strenght But that wasn't what happened I found the man of dreams and he is so supportive with my issues
Baby I #strenght love
Today is my Auntie Debbies birthday up there in the sky. What I wouldn’t do to be able to call her up and sing our special version of happy birthday.... honestly I have absolutely no idea how that special, albeit strange rendition started and why, but it was ours that much I do know.
My aunt passed away unexpectedly on October 17th, 2014. Her 61st birthday was two weeks prior on the 2nd.
Through the years she fought and conquered breast cancer only years later be diagnosed with cervical cancer, but won that battle too. In the end we now know that cancer had returned a third time and I will always believe in my heart that she knew this was the battle she would not win.
Auntie Debbie and my Uncle Frank had a very well established, expanding global business.
A week prior to her passing, she and my uncle received acknowledgment for achieving every one of their goals. Hard work, effort and absolute dedication in the face of her inner struggle, they had become a “Diamond”. What her business refers to it as one of its highest honors. watching the video of her speech I realized, not for the first time, the strength and fortitude she had, realizing her time with us was growing shorter. The true smile on her face, knowing
what she did was to accomplish exactly what she set her goal to be. I need to add that this was at an arena setting with the capacity of thousands.
She was an impeccable speaker whether it was about the business or life experiences, advice on life’s curveballs as well as navigating them through her own experience.
She was full of love, compassion, kindness with powerful intelligence and unwavering support for every one she knew.
Whether An acquaintance ,
friend, close friend or loved one, she always treated everyone the same way.
I was and have been completely blessed to have two amazing, incredible, strong and fierce women by my side. One of them being my late Auntie Debbie and the other, my one in a million best friend, my mother.
I wish someone would just come out with it and say something actually true instead of the same old “it gets easier with time”. Sorry but I call bullshit on that phrase. It’s been 7 years and I can without a shadow of a doubt say. in all honesty, it doesn’t become easier with time but I do know my love continues to grow and I am proud to have had her as a role model in my life.
Because as I struggle with the challenges my own illiness I find strength in the life
my Aunt lived. #RestInPeace #MyHero #Cancer #strenght #courage #Grief #Loss #CheckInWithMe #Fybromyalgia #Gastroparesis #Depression #
Sometimes I misplace mine and need a reminder every now and then #strenght #Fybromyalgia #Gastroparesis #ParkinsonsDisease #deppresion #Anxiety #igotthisthough #reminder
While I was growing up I always thought the idea of a happy place sounded like a better fairytale than any Disney movie!
I loved the idea of a place where everything just falls into place and you feel safe and happy and everything else wonderful. As I grew up I realized I didn’t have a place like that, I had a person like that. I learned as I grew up that my older sister was my happy place. With her I would always be okay, I would always be protected. Unknowingly depending on her for way more than I should have.
I realized as I grew older about her own demons, it shocked me! She is this incredibly strong person and force how could she have demons? Then I learned that her demons made her who she is.
After this revolution, she taught me about stress, depression, trauma and anxiety but, that none of this defined her. This was just part of her story. This wasn’t anything to hide from but, no everyone gets to hear your story. Your story is yours to tell to those who deserve to hear it. She taught me that love, attention and support are all things that are earned from people who proved to be in your corner.
She also taught me about the happy place myth. It’s not a place where everything is sunshine and rainbows it was a place where you could go at your darkest and most vulnerable and still be supported. And to me that was her, no matter what story or mistake or whatever I did she was there good and bad. As much as she was always supportive she was not going to always validate me. If I was wrong I had to face it.
She is my second mom, my guardian angel and my biggest cheerleader and my most brutal critic. And the person who I love the most ❤️
I love you my happy place #struggles #everyonehastheirdemons #strenght #siblinglove
I thought I would share a quote of mine that I love very much. Know that no matter how hard some days can be , it is still worth living and there will always be someone there for you #ChronicIllness
You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice. Stay strong this holiday season! #WarmWishes #strenght #StayStrong
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