Whatsgoingonwithme

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Trying to guess out what's going on

Hello everyone out there!

This is my first post on the Mighty ever, I was only a reader. But now I would like to ask for some help with my issues. I am trying to be short and don't bore anyone with my "life-story"...
So... I am diagnosed with OCD, what is relevant, but now this seems like something else is going on in my head... at least as I guess. About 1.5-2 months ago, at my workplace an old memory come up to my mind. It wasn't that type of thought OCD generates, it was a normal thing to remember something happened in the past, even if it's painful. With my colleauges, we were talking about childhood games because someone found a pack of 'action-cards' maybe, if this is their correct name. Those collectible, small cards with a hero on it, who had strength, life points, and so on... and I told they were great, because my classmates weren't fighting with each other, they 'beated' each other only on cards. Than, I mentioned "well... i wasn't the one who was fighting, but the wan who had been beaten by others..." We laughed at this, I was joking with it, but there is truth behind it. And if I would stop talking, it wouldn't be so awkward, but somehow, as I was wondering, I said it out loud: " Really, idk how that girl could beat me every day without any adults would have noticed it..."
Than my colleauges asked what happened with me, and I told them my story how i was beaten every day for a year in my second year of school... they seemed understanding, and i tried to myke a joke of myself... that's not the problem...
Since that, at random moments, more and more memories come to my mind... the sad and painful ones, just from nowhere. I mean I hear a word, a typical, every day used word, for example today I've heard my boss says 'ouch', and bang!, another bad memory... what i haven't thought about for years and doesn't matter anymore, because it's the past and i really didn't care about it, but they just come up... Can anybody relate to this or know what is this? I usually do my own research if I have any issues, but with this I don't even know where to start my research...
Thank you if you took the time and read my story.
P.S. Sorry for my English, it's a foreign language for me, but I am trying to improve it. 😏
#Askingforadvice #anxietydisorders #RandomBadMemories #past #Whatsgoingonwithme #MentalHealth #Undiagnosed new issue?

12 comments
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I'm a little unerved. I can't remember today at /ALL/. My family tells me I was up walking around and doing things, that I had full conversations with them. But I don't remember any of it. And when I did wake up and look at the clock it was 4:30pm.
I'm pretty sure its from my sleeping medicine that I take for my insomnia and maybe the stress I'm under (I snapped yesterday, everything I've held in since I was in middle school [I'm 26] and told my mom how I've felt about everything that's happened since I tried to never make myself a problem for her and I just would be quiet and take the emotional and mental pain and never told her everything everyone had/has done/did to me so she could focus on my sick sister]
But, I'm just writing because I'm scared. I've had hours missing before, but never an entire day!
#Depression #scaredandnotquietaboutit #help #Whatsgoingonwithme #Stress #lost #Unknown

2 comments
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I have a question

so I was recently diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and I don’t know how to feel. I was admitted to the hospital after a panic attack and a whole bunch of other things happened but they diagnosed me with bpd. anyways, I just feel so empty and I was wondering if that’s a symptom or something. I just feel so numb and any thought I’ve been having has just been negative. so if anyone knows, I’d really appreciate it if someone could just tell me wth is going on 😓 #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder
#helpme
#Whatsgoingonwithme
#pleasehelp
#whyme

3 comments
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What's going on?

It seems like forever since I started this account, when in reality has been less than a week. Lately I've found myself not recognizing who I am in the mirror, disassociating more often then normal and don't have the motivation to hold a conversation or talk to anyone. My entire body is fatigued and it's hard to focus on my schoolwork. I find myself constantly asking "What's going on?" and "What am I doing?" because right now, I really don't know. #CheckInWithMe #Whatsgoingonwithme

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Sad #Depression #moodswing #Family #Whatsgoingonwithme #ChronicMigraines #Migraine

It’s again a day like this: I do things and I feel good and bam! As soon as it’s over I’m just sad and exhausted and thinking there’s no hope for me.
It’s my grandmas 89th birthday today and we had a really nice time eating cake with her. I’m even having some pain free moments. But as soon as we drive home in our car I’m just sad and exhausted without knowing why. Is this my depression? Is my medication not working properly? What’s going on? I’m sad and i feel lost.

4 comments